NEW FOR KINDLE...
Corrie weekly updates from 1995, 17 years in 17 e-books
All the wit and warmth of Weatherfield, none of the waffle
Available from amazon.co.uk or amazon.com
Kelly puts her lucky pants on and they turn up trumps when she wins big
on a scratchcard in the Kabin. Once upon a time I had lucky pants too, but
they’re known now as my ‘I should be so lucky’ thermal drawers. Anyway,
Kelly splashes the cash at the bar of the Rovers buying champagne for the
girls and treats Lloyd to a meal at The Clock. He’s feeling hard up
after taking out a loan to repay Tina and when he tells Kelly not to spend,
spend, spend on bling, bling, bling, the pair of them argue and he storms
out of their meal. Kelly walks home alone and gets mugged by a hooded hoodlum
in the precinct who takes her new phone, handbag and all her best bling.
Lloyd picks her up from the police station later, gives her a cuddle in the
cab, tells her he’ll run her home, run a bath and sit up all night to take
care of her. Ah bless.
Audrey and Keith spend more time together although she’s still struggling
with his frugal ways. Meanwhile, Craig and Rosie are left alone when
the oldies swanned off to Salford’s Christmas fair. Craig’s feeling
emotional after wrapping up presents for mum Angela in prison. He calls
Rosie on his moby and she pops across the road to cheer him up. The pair of
them cosy up on the sofa where he tells her he loves her before the two of
them head up the stairs to Bedfordshire where they give in to their hormones
and do, you know, it. Rosie rings Sally and tells her she’s staying
overnight at posh Imogen’s house so Sally’s made up and can’t possibly know
that her underage daughter has just been deflowered to the soundtrack of Goth
band Murderdolls. Now then, a very nice man who knows about such things tells
me that Murderdolls tracks include: Slit My Wrist, Twist My Sister, Dead
In Hollywood, Love At First Fright, People Hate Me, She Was A Teenage Zombie,
Die My Bride, Grave Robbing U.S.A., Dawn Of The Dead, Let's Go To War, Dressed
To Depress, Kill Miss America, B-Movie Scream Queen, Crash Crash & White
Wedding. He says he can't quite work out why that last one's in there, but
can only guess that it refers to the bride's face rather than her dress.
Audrey and Keith find Rosie creeping out the back door after spending the
night with Craig. Audrey keeps mum – even after Rosie calls her a stupid slapper
for getting pregnant at her age - and tells Rosie she ought to tell Sal and
Kev the truth.
Leanne and Danny could prove a conniving combination after Danny decides
to knock Adam off the top spot as golden boy in Underworld. He’s fed up with
Adam and frustrated with Mike, sees himself as Lord of the Lingerie (Gandalf
of the Gusset?) and Leanne’s only too keen to help him incur his inheritance.
As Alzheimer’s Disease starts to deteriorate Mike’s faculties, he reinstates
Hayley at the factory after he wonders what she’s doing drinking in the Rovers
when she should be at work. He can’t remember he sacked her last week
but a grateful Hayley rushes back to work - least said, soonest mended.
Mike decides he wants all of his family around him this Christmas and books
Christmas dinner at The Clock. And just what is so wrong with Delfine’s
these days? Mind you, I had heard that things were never the same since
that chef with the cold sores started work there.
Dev’s daughter Amber returned to the Street this week and I was mightily
pleased to see her back, she’s a cracking little actress. Being a typical
teenager, Amber played to her strengths by hanging around the corner shop
making a nuisance of herself with new shop assistant Craig before telling
dad Dev that she just, like, oh you know, just SO hates him. Amber’s a streetwise
Manchester kid who tries to order posh coffee in Roy’s Rolls but her requests
for a double frapuccino and an espresso are met with Vera’s own extensive
caffeine menu – milky or black. Roy’s Rolls is no place for latte-dah
coffees and that’s just the way most of the locals like it.
Fred took Bev to the brewery ball and tongues wagged in the back room the
next morning after Betty spied Fred leaving by the back door after giving
Bev a kiss on the welcome mat. Shelley’s not best pleased to think Fred’s
taken advantage of her mum but Bev puts things straight and says Fred slept
on the sofa after he forgot his key and didn’t want to wake Ashley, Claire
and little Josh. Betty tells Shelley there’s nowt to worry about, judging
by the kiss Fred gave Bev. “Passion’s weak, a peck on the cheek; kiss
on the gob, it’s a marriage job” she says and confirms Fred only pecked Bev
on the cheek but that doesn’t stop her predicting an April wedding and a December
divorce for the pair of them.
Phil moves himself into Gail’s house after the foot fella’s flat gets
flooded for the festive fortnight. David’s brought home in a cop car after
he’s caught trying to break into Phil’s flat. He says he was protecting
Gail and wanted to check that Phil was telling the truth about his flat being
flooded (he was). When Phil gets stroppy with Gail over the way she
treats David she tells him he can’t understand as he hasn’t got kids and can’t
know what it’s like (he can’t).
Elsewhere this week, Carol’s jealousy of Frankie makes her jump to conclusions
that she’s having an affair with Jamie. And as Liz helps Vernon load his car
with his drum kit, it’s clear she’s become Vernon’s roadie and groupie all
rolled into one. Following on from last week’s update when I mentioned
I didn’t know what a premature paradiddle was, a nice man wrote in to tell
me it’s a tap dance step. I plan to try it out myself on Christmas Day
afternoon after the usual pint of sherry and the Queen’s speech.
Right, I don’t know where you’re spending your Christmas dinner, but I’m
off to book a table at The Clock before all the seats go. I’ll see you
the week after next – thanks again to Richard for offering to do the update
next week. Merry Christmas!
Glenda
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