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This weeks' update written by John Dean. Glenda is on holiday.
If you'd like your weekly update with pictures and fun Corrie stuff, have a look at : http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com/
At last - Sean's birthday! He gets a tie from Hayley which has bras and knickers embroidered on it. Which just seems WRONG on so many levels.
Ashley's trying to persuade the Social Worker that there's something wrong with Clur when DING DONG - it's the DOCTAH! (Not THE Doctor, nemesis of the Peacock family for so many years, but A Doctor, not at all tall). The Doctor claims Claire's problem is "hard to pin down" but it may be post natal depression. Well, DUH!
And Liam (who seems to have a staggeringly comprehensive knowledge of the garment business - taking in stock control, quality assessment and pricing - when his only previous experience has been flogging thongs on a market stall) is pumping Hayley for information about Danny.
Claire and Ashley have a big row on the street. "I'm a trained Nanny!" shouts Claire, just as she pushes "That baby" in front of an oncoming car. Back at home, Claire flushes her anti-depressants down the sink and Ashley realises the problem is beyond his control.
Kelly has responded to Liam's requirement that, for Health and Safety purposes, she has to ditch the sexy outfits. Sally wants to know if the old clothes have been donated to a prostitutes' refuge. Kelly is understandably bitter at people who make people dress up in old clothes so they look like their auntie.
Ashley tricks Claire into going to the hospital for assessment, not realising that the Doctor can commit Claire to a course of in-patient
treatment. Doctor Bannerjee, by the way, turns out to be Mike Baldwin's old solicitor, Frankie. Either Frankie is to play no further part in the show and the actress has moved on (via Casualty or Holby City or something), or there's some really clever "evil twin" sub-plot going on. Claire is,
naturally, desperately upset. "You're punishing me for being such a terrible mother", she claims. So she's a bad mother? John Shaft was a bad mother and everyone liked him.
The Rovers karaoke is in full swing. Michelle "Lego head" Connor is belting out the old stuff. When Deirdre wants to know why Michelle's hair is so shiny, Liz suggests it's because she rubs it with a pork chop. I want to know why it never moves. Is it really one of those plastic Lego pieces
that you fit on the head with a little spike? Deirdre, Eileen and Liz have a go at "It's Raining Men", which is a long way from their personal situation. And Jamie and Sean do a very passable Elton and Kiki after threatening to be Donny and Marie. Oh dear ... I feel an implausible story line coming on.
Over at the Baldwin's, Violet's seductive voice wafts down the stairs, enticing Jamie back to bed. Reminiscent of the days when the Lancashire housewife would shout to her husband "Dost want use of me body before I put me corset on?". But Jamie just wants to read the paper.
Fred and Bev return to the Street, I say Fred and Bev ...As a subtle subterfuge they're claiming that Bev has food
poisoning. "Never buy a prawn where you can't hear a seagull" opines Fred. But really they're back because of the Claire "One flew over the Cuckoo's Nest" scenario. Ashley's hopes are dashed that Claire will be sent home after an overnight stay. The Doc wants to keep her in for at least a fortnight. And Claire is not a happy camper. Well, actually, she's not any kind of camper what with being locked inside a hospital ward.
Danny returns and calls on Adam. A golden opportunity for Adam to let Danny know what's been going on. But ole Brer Adam, he don't say nuffin, he jest smile ...
So Danny gets a very rude shock when he sets the alarm off going into Underworld and his code doesn't work. He assumes the youthful Liam Gallagher look-alike bounding past him is the man from the alarm company. He's staggered to find it's his new partner. So staggered he does that weird lizard thing with his tongue that signifies thought and puzzlement. Very unsettling. But after a chat to his brief he determines that the fine print allows Liam to have all the statements and reports he likes as well as 40 per cent of the profits, but it nowhere guarantees him access to the factory. So Danny has Hayley escort the lad from the premises and then he changes the locks. And then he offers to buy the Gallagher brothers out - "Name your price, girls!"
Meantime, Steve has "had a look at the books" of the Rovers - which seem to consist of a box file, a couple of manky manila folders and a few dozen invoices in a paper clip - and pronounces himself delighted at the financial robustness and agrees to buy the pub so his Mum can run it.
Storylines you're glad I didn't include ;
Norris and Rita and the free pen
Things Craig can legally do now he's 16
Euphemisms Charlie and Maria are coming up with for sex (Oh, OK,
just the one - "Fixing the loose tiles in the bathroom")
Betty and her Cyril's "fancy dress parties"
Fizz's driving lessons
Liam and Frankie and Danny and Alice (OK, Alice is a fictional
character)
The bloke who looks frighteningly like me playing strip ludo
with Claire in the Psych ward
But I will include the "diagnosis of the week" which came, not from any of the half dozen doctors and nurses we saw dithering around Mrs
Peacock, but in Fred's response to the question "'Ow's Claire"
"Barkin'"
NB - The updates for the next couple of weeks will be delayed. Richard and Janet have discovered that Glenda hides the tunnocks under the bed when she's away and they're too busy picking off the dust bunnies to put pen to paper.
John Dean
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