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Norris was much taken with a scrubber this week. And a hot steaming bucket of water as he tried to wash graffiti off the Kabin walls and windows. He reckons it’s little Chesney who’s the culprit but he’s wrong, it’s Ryan Connor - the boy who hasn’t had a storyline but has moped about menacingly in a hoodie, waiting for his moment. Norris is determined to catch the graffiti-ist (is there such as word?) and on the advice of Amber, innit, buys himself a pair of night vision goggles. He’s a scream, looks hilarious and as he spies out of Emily’s front window, what does he see? First off it’s Rita putting the milk bottles out by her front door in her nightie then it’s Tracy Barlow in her bra through her bedroom window. Charlie’s straight over the road to tell Norris he’s a filthy little pervert, while Emily follows Norris around the living room making Hannibal Lechter noises. It all got very surreal.
When Cilla doesn’t return home after spending the night at FIz’s flat, Les and Yana assume that she’s left home so they get comfy together on the sofa. It must have got a bit hot as they had to take off some of their clothes. Chesney walks in and finds his step-dad and his mam’s best mate all undone by the telly but says nowt for now, especially when they find out that Cilla’s got cancer. Even Schmike… Schmeck… Chesney’s big dog l looked upset.
Tracy ups her game plan to get Charlie branded an even worse bad ‘un than the Street regulars already know he is. Shouting and screaming through the paper thin walls so that the Peacocks hear next door does the job nicely and Claire’s concerned enough to tell Deirdre and Ken she’s worried about their daughter. Bev rings the police when plates start smashing against their neighbours walls but it’s only Tracy picking an argument with Charlie over nothing at all. She even locks herself and Amy in the bedroom, pretending that Charlie had locked them in there against their will. Charlie soon figures out what’s going on though and can see through Tracy’s plan.
Christmas decorations go up everywhere this week on the street – in the factory, in the Rovers, around Sean’s head. And it’s the factory Christmas party, always a raucous affair but oddly not this time, oh no. No one snogged the boss or did ‘oops upside your head’ on the factory floor. No one was sick on the cobbles or wore tinsel in their hair. However, Paul Connor’s wife Carla turned up which upset things a little. She’s all tanfastic with expensive hair, the sort that looks like she’s off the set of Footballer’s Wives en route to Holby City. “Do I look like I have ugly mates?” she asks hubby Paul when he asks her if she’s going to get friendly with the factory girls. She could be interesting, we’ll see.
Desperate Dan wants to speak to son Jamie about their feelings for Frankie. The two of them drive off to the moors where Danny threatens to jump off a bridge and end it all. (Was I the only one shouting “Jump!” and “Push him, go on!”?). Jamie saves his dad only to have Danny walk off into the night after signing his wordly goods and assets (factory, flat, flash car, golf jumpers) over to Jamie on the back of an envelope. “Where are you going?” Jamie shouts after his dad as he disappears in the darkness. If he’d had Norris’ night vision googles, he’d know. At the factory, the girls – and Liam - are wondering how they’ll get paid if Danny’s not around to sign their pay cheques. No one seems to know where Danny’s gone and only Jamie and Sean know the truth.
Bill Webster returned which put a smile on Audrey’s face, if no one else’s. Sally wonders what his wife Maureen thinks about him disappearing across Europe every couple of weeks. Bill replies that the secret of a good marriage is space, before dragging Kev out for a drink in the Rovers, leaving Sally to think on.
Speaking of the Rovers, Vernon plays to his strengths and does his best at doing nothing in the pub. Whether it’s a box of mixers needing to be brought up from the cellar, or the pub Chrimbo decorations needing to be put up, Vernon’s your man, if you can find him, which no one ever can. He’s a brilliant feckless so and so, I love watching him on screen. Steve gets cornered by Michelle with mistletoe and they have a snog in the back room until Liz comes in and spies them. Steve’s eyes roll to heaven, Liz tuts and Michelle walks out.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Glenda Young
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