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Saturday 9 June 2012

Coronation Street Weekly Update - February 26 2007

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Ken and Deirdre get a nasty shock when they find out Tracy isn’t entitled to Legal Aid if she wants to stay with her hotshot lady lawyer. Tracy pleads with her parents to stick with the lawyer, even if it means Ken and Deirdre could end up £150k in debt and have to refinance their house on an equity release scheme. Or sell Blanche. Whichever will raise the most cash. David teases Tracy and tells her he’s not sure if he’ll be able to attend his court hearing, well, it might clash with footy practice. In an effort to get David to do what she wants, Tracy gives in to his demands and snogs him in number six as a down payment on what David’s really after and promises him the rest after she walks free from court. But David’s a tightly coiled viper’s nest of teenage lust, hormones and cheap aftershave and seems ready to burst sooner rather than later.

In the Rovers, Vernon takes tips from Jack on how to be fully feckless. Jack passes on his words of wisdom of how best to keep out of Liz’s way by pretending there’s, you know, mice in the cellar that need sorting out. He’s wonderful, Vernon, I love him. Although not in that way, you understand.

Molly starts work in Dev’s corner shop and Amber’s no longer number one shop girl. So far, so good for Molly, although Kirkeh will have to find replacement help at the kennels. 

It’s Rita’s 75th birthday and Doreen plans to take her out to get trashed on cheap sherry. Sorry, that should have read Doreen plans to take her out for a sedate, genteel brunch. Jealous Norris doesn’t want Doreen monopolising his mate and takes Rita to the Rovers for a few drinks and gives her a present of a cloisonné candle snuffer. What fun, I’m sure it’s just want she wanted.

It’s lads night out after Lloyd gets free vee-eye-pee tickets to a new club in town. Sean, Lloyd and Jamie are all done up in their best bib and tucker and Steve’s in a rather loud shirt. Sean bumps into Sonny in the pub, he’s out schmoozing clients and is soon snogging Sean who’s spied on by Steve. Ooh, too much alliteration!

Tyrone’s given a metal detector from a bloke whose car gets fixed in the garage. He takes his new “portal to vast, unimaginable riches” to the Red Rec with Kirk, Molly and Fiz to try detecting some metal. Kirk thinks he’s in luck but it’s just the steel toe-caps in his boots and when he finds an old coin he thinks he’s quids in but the penny drops after he searches online and realises it’s worthless. Bless him, but he does come up trumps this week with Fiz when he buys her an ant farm. Yes, an ant farm. She doesn’t know what it is or what to do with it but soon starts to love the little creepy crawlies and even gives them names – Ant, Dec, Adam, and Charlie Caroli, the world’s funniest man. (I made one of those up).

When Chesney tries out the metal detector, he finds an unexploded bomb in the Peacock’s back garden. I know, what joy, who’d have thought it wouldn’t have been uncovered when that side of the street was built on many years ago. But let’s forget about that and get back to the bermb. The street’s evacuated as the Royal Engineers Bomb Squad move in, causing no end of problems with simmering tension and domestic explosions going off all over the cobbles. First off there’s Sean and Sonny in number seven, getting friendly in Jamie’s bed and under his duvet. Going from camp to cruel in an episode and a half, Sean’s loving the deception of his fling with Sonny, thinking that nobody knows when both Steve and Jamie know exactly what’s going on.  Elsewhere, the bomb scare comes just in the nick of time to free Tracy from having to snog Demon “I had a dream about you last night, Tracy” Platt again. Audrey’s evacuated in the middle of a demi-wave and fears for her customer looking like Leo Sayer if she’s not let back in the salon any time soon. And in the Rovers, Vernon’s missing when everyone’s evacuated but fear not, he’s just taken Jack’s skiving session to heart and has been hard at it in the cellar, you know, sorting out the mice, wearing headphones so he didn’t hear Liz calling him before.

As the residents decamp to the community centre, sober and scared, in come Doreen and Rita, drunk and a bit daft. They’ve been out all night celebrating Rita’s birthday and have paper umbrellas in their hair and shiny stuff around their shoulders to prove it. Leading the crowd (well, Norris) in a sing-a-long of We’ll Meet Again, the bunker mentality sets in as the bomb squad do their stuff and explode Claire’s garden gnome on the Street.

And Carla can’t afford to pay her workers the minimum wage to get her kids clothes stitched. Offering slave wages to Becky and Kelly, the girls take the work and agree to stitch buttons for peanuts. Becky even brings in someone from th’ostel to help get stitched up while Sally, Fiz, Hayley and Joanne moan in the Rovers. They reckon if the Connors can get away with paying less than the minimum wage to Carla’s clothes stitchers then they’ll end up doing the same to them too. It’s time for some action! a bit of protest! politics! or maybe just another barm cake and tea.

And that’s just about that for this week.

Glenda Young
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