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Loads going on this week this week at Underworld as Dev's cousin's
cheque bounces. And bounces. Joe takes it personally, it's him against
Dev and he does his best to fight for Mike's money but Dev wants to deal
with the monkey-grinder, not the organ. Anyway, Dev pressures cousin
Naveen to settle the debt as he's taken the order but Naveen's got a
cash-flow problemo (did I really write problemo? who cares, I'm on my
holidays soon, I'm de-mob happy, me) and he can't pay up just yet. Joe
decides he's going to break into Naveen's factory and nick back the
knickers and with Steve McDonald's help and a great big dollop of farce,
the two ex-crims commit another crime. Not only do they nick the
knickers, they pinch the pants, thieve the thongs, grab the girdles,
burgle the briefs, steal the shreddies, liberate the lingerie and usurp
the undies. And then they do a runner when the police turn up. Back at
the factory later, Joe's congratulating himself as a hero and helps
himself to Baldwin's booze while Steve worries that if they're found
out, they'll both be back in the big-house before you can say "there was
way too much alliteration in this paragraph".
Karen wants to be a lady of leisure and thinks she can sponge off her
hubby but he's got other plans. He gives her a tenner and tells her to
manage, or get herself another job. These two are great together and
had some wonderful dialogue this week courtesy of Peter Mills.
Mind you, Mills' best dialogue went to new bloke Harry Flagg who turned
up from nowhere to be the Rovers' new cleaner. The best way to describe
him would be as a soulmate to Norris and as a cross-reference to Roy
Cropper. "Harry be name and Harry be nature" he says, and true to form,
he is. He tidies up the toilets and leaves fresh flowers in the
ladies. Harry, Norris and Fred are already the new Ena, Minnie, Marth, I
say, they're old women together.
Dev puts Sunita beyond the call of corner shop duty this week when she
has to field calls and visits to her manager and cousin from irate Joe
from the factory and dumb dolly birds too. She finally puts her foot
down and tells him what she thinks of his bad attitude to women: "The
trouble with you" she says "Is that you think with your mobile!".
Toyah needs a project for her art module at Uni. (Err.. just what
course is she doing?) and stuck for ideas, plumps for Les'
beer-stained, fag-burned old chair as an homage to working class man at
his worst. Her tutor takes some convincing but being an arty-farty
University lecturer with eau d'academia hanging around his neck, he'll
wax lyrical about the semantic properties. Reminds me when I gave one
of my Uni essays to my brother to read. "It's pretentious crap" he
said. "Ah, yes, but it's good pretentious crap" I said and my lecturers
agreed.
Fiz and Toyah have a decorating party and although Audrey wants the
place done tasteful like, it ends up anything but. There's more paint on
faces and clothes than there is on the walls but it's a good excuse for
Fiz and Kirk to slip over to Les' while he's upstairs at the party and
they have a sly snog.
Elsewhere this week, Maxine's mum found out that the name plate defacer
was none other than Ashley. And by gum, if she were living with me, I'd
have done much, much worse to get her upset. Doreen is nothing more
than Maxine with more bleach, yuck to the pair of them, I have no time
at all for women like them. Anyway, Doreen's upset 'cos Maxine's dad
wants to come to baby Romeo's christening. Nope, sorry, it's not baby
Romeo it's Josh innit - I just had Maxine confused with another vaccuous
tart there.
And that's just about that for this week. Thanks again to Richard and
Janet who will be your weekly update writers for the next three weeks.
Glenda has left the country.
Glenda
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