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So, here we go with a roller coaster of a week on the Street.
Maxine tells Ashley she's booked her driving test, it's next week
(next week?!?! I had to wait 3 months for my first one! My second
one came sooner. My third one took longer. My fourth one seemed
to take an eternity but I passed it in the end). Anyway, she demands
driving lessons from Ashley "Whaddo I want? Driving lessons!
Whenddo I wannem? Now!" and off the pair of them hit the
streets in the car. Unfortunately, Maxine hits Blanche who is
saved only at the last minute by a swan dive from Emma who leaps
in to save her. Maxine is inconsolable and blames her pink high
heeled shoes. After a few brandies Blanche pulls round but poor
Emma doesn't and when she starts with a few twinges, she ends
up in hospital, scared she'll lose the baby. With Curly by her
bed side and Emily bringing tea and flowers, Emma eventually pulls
through and it looks like mother and the unborn are going to be
fine.
Gail and Sally have a girl's night in, gossiping and drinking
and doing girly stuff. Anyway, Gail tells Sally she thinks Martin's
giving her the glad eye and she's noticed Martin staring at Sally
in the street. (I should think every bloke in Britain has been
staring at Sally in the street this week, somebody should really
have a word with her about those nipples....) Sally laughs off
Gail's news, nervously, but when she mentions this to Martin,
the pair of them hit on a plan to pretend they're starting to
flirt and fancy each other - all under the very watchful and approving
eye of Gail as matchmaker. (I don't know about you, but these
two together still turns my stomach).
Maria puts Tyrone on a diet after he tells her he feels like
a baby elephant. So he's on salad and early morning jogging with
Jason until Fiz slips him some chips after taking a fancy to him.
Maria's not best pleased, as you'd expect.
Elsewhere on the street events have been dominated by Fred
and Eve's wedding. Yup, you heard right, Fred and Eve's wedding.
Eve finds out from Linda that Fred's been paying her wages at
the Rovers and is furious, as you'd expect. Off she storms out
of the pub and down the street with Fred lagging behind yelling
across the cobbles that he loves her. When she stops and turns
to him, she can't believe what she's hearing as Fred asks her
to marry him. "Don't vascillate, don't think about it, just
say yes. Say yes." And say yes she does. Before you know
it, we're in a country house for a wedding in the Dales. Now,
much as I like country houses and four poster beds (but that's
another story, another update and quite another newsgroup) we've
been here before with Alma and Mike's recent trip and Linda and
Mike's wedding last year. Lovely as it looked, it all seemed a
bit, well, worn. Been there, done that, seen the episode, wrote
the update - and it was only Fred and the wonderful Eve who made
this familiar location and storyline sparkle with real old-fashioned
Corrie-ness. Audrey tries to talk Fred out of the wedding after
she heard Eve talking to Linda about the size of Mike's bank balance
in the Rovers. Assuming Eve was talking about Fred and only after
his money, Audrey can't let Fred go through with the wedding and
gives Fred her thoughts, as a friend. And so it is a small, happy
and inter-related wedding party that sets off for the Dales and
the wedding. There's the groom and his bride, groom's son that
was his nephew and his daughter in law, bride with her daughter
and her husband who's older than the groom. Confused? Oh, you
should be, especially when Mark turns up at the last minute. Mike
had written him a letter to tell him about Alma and so he turns
up looking for his dad, followed closely behind by Eve's wayward
sons Jimmy and Ryan. I don't have to tell you and you can probably
guess that it all goes horribly, horribly wrong. Mark gives Audrey
a lift to the wedding after she swore she'd keep away, ending
up with her yelling at Eve "You're a washed up little slut".
As the wedding party argue in the hotel foyer, Eve's sons have
a go at her, angry that she's marrying into money and couldn't
give a toss about them. Eve gives as good as she gets and holds
her own in the fracas but breaks down at the end admitting to
Fred she's no better than she should be and wouldn't be at all
surprised if he never wanted to marry her now. While all this
is going on, Mike confides to his son about his problems with
Linda, and the next thing you know, Mike is outside Linda's room
listening to her conversation with Mark where she tells him that
she's got Mike wrapped around her finger and will do what she
can to keep that meal ticket. Furious, Mike tells Linda to leave,
immediately, to get out of his sight. He's going to divorce her.
Not one to let such a thing bother her, Linda wraps herself around
Mark in the garden. He's obviously giving her consolation, or
something. So anyway, back to Fred and Eve. She goes upstairs
and takes off her frock before slipping into the most bizarre
negligee (think Bet Lynch, only pink) as Fred drowns his sorrows
at the bar downstairs. Ashley tries to get them to talk but neither
will go the other, Ryan and Jimmy get drunk on cheap lager, Audrey's
confused, Mike's distraught, Mark's excited, Linda's being devious
and Maxine's jumping up and down on her bed going "It's posh
here innit?"
And finally this week, Sarah Lou and Candice are like, back
at school this week and it's just so like, boring. And Wayne and
Sheila call round to see Hayley, happy to see her at home.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
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