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Wednesday 20 June 2012

Coronation Street Weekly Update - Sep 24 1996

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Mavis and Derek are visited by a troop of weary looking people, members of the Historical Society. "Ooh Mavis, isn't it exciting, let's tell everyone our house is of local importance" coos Derek. "Ooh Derek" coos Mavis - you know they way they go on. The Historical Society muster together outside of the Wilton's love nest and then it all goes horribly wrong. So horribly wrong that my stomach turned over and tears welled up in my eyes. This was the kind of episode that reminds you, if you needed reminding, that Coronation Street is the best thing on TV. Emily, curious to find out what attracts the Historical Society to the Wilton's house, goes to join the group gawking at the gate posts to find out what's going on and what she hears is beyond belief. "And here" says the guide "used to be the site of a clothing factory which saw the brutal murder of a Mr. Ernest Bishop, killed at gun point, when he refused to hand over the factory takings one fateful evening.... " The Historical Society tour is actually a murder tour, taking in grisly sights and ghoulish happenings for people with nothing better to do of an evening. Emily is aghast, she can't believe what's just happened. Mavis and Derek are stunned, they never knew this was going to be the reason their little semi was included on the tour. Poor Mavis. Poor Derek. Poor, poor Emily.

Percy takes it upon himself to be Emily's minder and won't let anyone in to see her when Derek and then Mavis go around to apologise. Mavis takes a box of chocolates for Emily, hoping to make up with her friend, but Emily is too upset to even take the box from Mavis, and gives Mavis a lecture about hospital visitors for some reason instead.

And on to lighter, much lighter things..... Deirdre suggest to Alec that he gets Rita involved with giving Fiona the professional coaching she needs to become a more confident singer and polished artiste. Alec pretends this was his own idea when he approaches Rita, who is only too happy to help. There's another night at Sharelle's club where Fiona is the star singer for all of 3 minutes (is it just me or is she truly terrible?), everyone is cheering Fiona on but you can tell she's got doubts about the whole thing and tells Alec she doesn't want to get any more involved with the singing profession but Rita keeps giving her little pep talks so I guess we'll have to wait a little longer to see if she'll be the next Diana Ross.

All of this square dealing business has got me bent of shape. I don't know whether to be square, rhomboid or triangular. I just wish they'd appoint a new member for goodness sake and get it over with. Men!

Ken is called into his headmistress' office once more where she gets out the crystal glasses and best sherry from her filing cabinet and confides in Ken that her husband has left her for another woman and asks if he'd like another sherry while's he sat down?

Oh dearie me. Jim has gone and done it now, so he has. More arguing with Liz in the Rovers where he yells "Ok, so you want half of what I've got do ya? Well I'll tell you what Elizabeth, shall I tell ya now, you can have half of what I've got, half of nothing, that's what I've got so it is, aye that's right etc. etc. etc. so it is" and resigns from his job as Bill's partner. He staggers through the next couple of episodes with a whisky bottle in his hand losing his patience with everyone and everything, blind to what's going on around him and too blind drunk to care. Jamie writes a letter to his dad in prison, being kind and considerate enough to include his address and telephone number on the letter. Trisha flips when she finds out that Carl has been on the telephone already and is certain that as soon as he's out of prison he'll come to find her and beat her up. She seeks sanctuary in the Rovers with Jack and Vera, but Jack tells her not to be too hasty and suggests she goes to see Carl in prison before he gets out to tell him that she doesn't want him around her when he gets released.

More gossip from the Rovers. Judy is rambling on about having a baby to which Samantha cuts in with an icy word or two. "I don't know what you're talking about, you haven't even got a husband!" "Who says I haven't?" replies Samantha. "Or even a boyfriend" quips Judy to which Samantha replies "Between you and me, I prefer women". Now, this could have been one of those throwaway remarks as in - I prefer women to go shopping with when I'm buying my frillies at Marksies but I prefer men to snog with - or it could simply mean that she prefers women. I guess we'll have to wait and see. This could be an interesting storyline and long overdue, but as every other soap at the moment also has a designated gay person, the words "jumping on the bandwagon" are itching to leave my fingertips.

Maude is back from her weekend in Llandudno with the over 60's club and she's telling Maureen all about her adventures while they work in the corner shop. In comes Bill wanting half a pound of potatoes. "We haven't got any left" says Maude "You'll have to have our Maureen instead". No, she didn't really say that but I wish she had because Bill and Maureen end up giving each other a lovely cuddle beside the bananas and then get all embarrassed and try to pretend it didn't really happen. Now I want these two to get married, and soon. We've got 2 lonely people here and they need each other. Writers, please give them a Christmas wedding, they deserve a little bit of happiness.


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