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Corrie weekly updates from 1995, 17 years in 17 e-books
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Deirdre tries to stay off the fags but Kenco Ken caves in and goes back
on the coffee. The two of them have been as ratty with each other in
the way that only two people trying to give up life-long addictions can be.
"When it comes to gay badinage you make your Uncle Albert look like Liberace"
Blanche tells Ken - and with all his talk about 'working from home' just when
did he give up being a trolley-dolley and why weren't we informed?
Cilla's preparing for the wedding next week by deep frying herself on the
sunbed - always a good look on a bride, don't you think? She sees
red when Les tells her he's asked Kirk to be his best man when she'd planned
for her grown-up son Billy to do the honours instead. So Cilla sets
Kirk tasks which he has to fulfil to prove his worth as best man. Let
the Labours of Kirkules commence! First off is an easy one but he still
makes a dog's dinner of stealing Schmeichel's squeaky plastic Maggie "out!
out! out!" Thatcher toy until Molly assists. The next task, however,
could prove more tricky when he has has to unburden Blanche of her girdle.
Les promises Cilla the wedding of her dreams and tells her she'll be a princess
for a day and a queen for the rest of her life. And Les will remain
a loser for ever. Cilla's got her eye on a three-tier cake in the
window of Diggory's cake shop and after Yana wheedles her way into Diggory's
affection after hours, the cake somehow appears on Cilla's dinner table,
no questions asked and no explanation given.
Gail finds out David's been deleting Phil's messages from her mobile phone
and does her best to make amends. Phil comes round to dinner but as
the wine he brings is a sharp, crisp white instead of a fruity, lusty
red, you know the evening's not going to end with sub-duvet shenanigans.
Gail falters at the first step en-route upstairs to her boudoir (aka the
back bedroom) and tells Phil she's got cold feet. Instead of offering
to massage her toes for her, the two of them part ways when she tells him
she's not ready to go any further.
However, the shoe's on t'other foot as far as Martin's concerned. The week
starts off badly when Robyn tells Martin she wants nowt more to do wi'im.
Her brother's a PC and he's run a check on his PC which brought up all sorts
of nasty little truths about Platt. She could have saved herself
the trouble and used Google instead, type in "Martin Platt - Coronation
Street" and it's all there, I promise. But Martin explains all and
the romance is back on but will it sustain her moving away now she's exchanged
on a flat. (I always want to know what people have exchanged a flat
for. A three piece suite? A weekend in Amsterdam?). The question
remaining now is whether Martin will follow his long haired lover to Liverpool.
It all kicked off at Underworld this week when the girls went on strike
after Danny sacked Janice. Even Hayley's on picket duty with her workmates
and their placards although I was disappointed not one of them said "Down
with Knickers" which is what I would have put if I'd been out striking.
Scab Scally refuses to join them and goes into work where she's joined by
a motley bunch of machinists shipped in by Danny, every one of them in a
cardi and anorak and none of them able to stitch in a straight line.
When Mike returns from holiday and finds out what's gone on with Danny and
Leanne it leads to him telling Danny the truth about him being his son.
"That's a blinder" says Danny before he does one of those one-nostril man
sniffs, then throws the girls out of the factory, smashes the place up and
rings his old mum for a bit of advice on the old dog and bone.
Jimmy Clayton steps up his campaign of terror against Streetcars and shows
just what a nasty piece of work he is when he's racist towards Lloyd and
Kelly in the cab office. He also gets his son (Ronnie's step son) to threaten
Claire and Josh although Ashley delivers him a couple of punches by the bushes
when he finds out he's been frettening Clurr. He also hands in Claire's notice
at Streetcars and Fred's in total agreement, I say, he prefers women to
stay at home and do some stitching, bake loaves, do the washing, have babbies.
But Claire's not having it and she tells Steve she wants her job back.
Ronnie, a woman for whom the word 'glamour-puss' was coined, stood around
sticking her chest out much of this week, again. Yes, I am taking notes
and hope to reprt on my progress next week. She and Steve seem
to spend much time in his bedroom, possibly inspecting his wardrobe, who
knows? Could this woman be the new Elsie Tanner we've all been waiting
for?
And finally this week, Rita showed her mettle when she grabbed Norris by
the lapels and shook him, quite hard. Well, he'd only gone and had
the Kabin sign repainted to include both their names above the shop - with
his name first. "But it's traditional to have partner's names in alphabetical
order" he pleads, citing Marks and Spencer, but not, you'll have noticed,
Laurel and Hardy or Peters and Lee.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
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