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Grief hits the Street this week and Bev blubs into Bacardi in her wedding frock in the back room of the Rovers, refusing to budge from the place while there's still a whiff of Fred in the air. Liz wants to know what's going on with the sale of the pub and Ashley says he'll help shift Bev, who's taken to mourning Fred as if it were a competition that she desperately wants to win. When she refers to Fred as her husband and she as his widow, Ashley's not best pleased. He reminds Bev that it was his dad's wish to be cremated, not buried which is what Bev wants to do with the body. Bev hits the booze to help her cope and takes out her anger on Audrey for killing off Fred. Poor Audrey, meanwhile, is the talk of the wash house with all the gossip going on about her and dead Fred. In the Rovers Vera and Blanche have a vicious (but very funny) gossip about Audrey, who "walks round with her nose in the air and her knickers around her ankles". Even Rita vents her spleen at her old mate Audrey, giving her merry hell for carrying on with a fella and being his fancy woman (a wonderful phrase I hadn't heard in years). It all brings back painful memories for Rita of Len who did the same thing when he was killed after a night out with his fancy piece. When Audrey and Bev go to see Fred in his coffin at Archie Shuttleworth's, they trade insults and snarls before Ashley steps in to break them up, blaming Audrey squarely and harshly for his dad's death. He then tells little Josh that grand-dad Fred won't be coming back any more, he's gone up to heaven to sit on a cloud. "In blue pyjamas?" asks Josh, so cute you could spread him on toast.
Elsewhere on the Street this week, Les has had enough of Cilla selling off their stuff on the MyBay website after he finds out she's done the unforgivable and sold his Status Quo jacket and chinged in his Chopper. Before she sells off his kidneys, he packs up the PC and stores it at Streetcars, leaving Cilla's addiction to trading in tat hanging in the balance. Kirk's also into the MyBay site to bid on a scooter for Fiz after her driving lessons in a car have been somewhat less than successful.
And so to Paris. And that's not something we've ever said on a weekly update before. Oh hang on, we have, when Ashley, Maxine, Fred and Audrey went there a few years ago. Anyway, and so to Paris. Again. Sally packs the mosquito wipes, just in case, as the Websters head off to the French capital with a packed lunch – meat, fish and vegetarian sandwiches – made by the hands of Roy Cropper. Craig and Rosie burn their school ties (and their bridges) deciding never to return to Weatherfield and plan on getting the train to Berlin from France to run away together and start a new life. But anyway, back to Paris where the Websters meet up with Kev's dad Bill Webster who's treated his family to this French trip. He takes young Sophie out for the day as Craig and Rosie head back to the hotel to get their stuff and do a runner. Sally and Kev are left on their own and rekindle their romance on a riverside with champagne and a French stick before returning to their room for a bit of Ooh La La. But when they get back to the hotel, Rosie and Craig have gone, leaving nowt but a note behind. "Me and Craig have run away" it says. Sheesh, all that money spent on Rosie's posh education and her grammar is appalling. They also find a timetable for trains to Berlin so the Webster clan dash to the Gare du Nord to find Rosie and Craig. Down on the platform, the runaways have missed their train so Craig has to buy more tickets for a connecting train which leaves them both skint and upset. Rosie's already had second thoughts about leaving with Craig and when her future looms with nothing in it but Craig, thirty euros and an empty ruck sack, she stays put in Paris as Craig heads off to Berlin alone. Oh yes, there was tears and snot but then Rosie's spotted by the Websters and is given big hugs back into the heaving bosom of the clan from the cobbles.
Danny fancies his chances with Frankie so takes her a huge bunch of lovely red roses, gives her a cheeky smile and Bob's your uncle. The next day is the morning after the night before and Jamie arrives back from holiday with Violet, only to spot Danny walking downstairs in Frankie's house. Jamie flies into a rage and throws Danny out of the house and down on the cobbles where he clobbers him good and proper. Frankie can't understand why Jamie's so upset but it's because he loves her and she loves Danny who loves his son Jamie who doesn't love Violet who's a friend of Sean who possibly loves
Jamie. It's not so much a love triangle, it's more of a sexual squiggle.
And finally this week, Liam chats up Maria in the Rovers and she starts flirting with him - until Charlie comes in. Maria plays it cool but it's not cool enough for Charlie who follows Maria into the ladies loo (what a strange man he is) and tells her he doesn't want her messing about with another fella. When Liam walks Maria home, Charlie follows on and pushes Liam up against the wall, advising him to leave Maria well alone.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
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