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“I want gin! Now!” yells Bev in the Rovers when she finds out she’s not been left a bean in Fred’s will, it’s all gone to Ashley. She sits at the end of the bar and soaks up the booze. “Cup of tea?” asks Liz. “I’ll have a gin, it’ll save on the electric. Are you shuggestin’ I’m junk?” Bev replies before being helped back onto her school after she tries to ban Audrey from the Rovers. It’s the day of the funeral and Bev’s in her wedding frock. Ashley gives Bev the silver and diamond watch that Fred had bought for her as a wedding gift and it looks like the two of them have buried the hatchet but it doesn’t last long. In the church, it takes four pall-bearers to carry Fred’s coffin when you’d have expected at least another two what with the weight of him and all. The vicar asks Ashley if he’d like to speak. Or did he say squeak? You can never tell with Ashley. Ashley spoke anyway, then sat down to let Bev have her say. Not one to miss an opportunity, she falls onto the coffin, beating her fists and yelling through a gin haze: “I do, I do” to the man she should have married but didn’t. And the best bit of all, the most wonderful bit, was when the coffin stuttered, I say it stopped and re-started as it slid through the curtain delivering Fred to the furnace. A touch of genius, that was.
Outside in the churchyard, emotions run high with Jamie and Frankie and he kisses her under the foliage. She’s taken aback but doesn’t refuse and he spends the rest of the week moping and brooding, trying to convince himself that Frankie loves him. She moves back in with Danny to prove that she doesn’t after giving Jamie a slap around the chops and hits him with her suitcase. Danny’s over the moon, chuffed to little mint balls at having Frankie back in his life and can’t understand why Jamie’s so cut up about it. As Jamie broods and mopes, mopes and broods, Sean runs behind him up and down the cobbles like a Jack Russell imploring him to talk about his feelings and caress his inner Clare Rayner.
Back at the Rovers after the funeral, Rita leads them all in a sing-song of Bring Me Sunshine - which had me in tears. Dev gets a round of scotch and threats in for the Peacock clan to eat with their pies and Audrey has her say when everyone tries to snub her. She tells them she wasn’t carrying on with Fred before he died but she loved him as a friend. Mind you, it doesn’t take long before she takes the arm of Archie Shuttleworth and sidles up against him at the bar. She’s not one for being without male company, isn’t Audrey. Bev keeps on boozing and collects Fred’s ashes from Archie, refusing to share them with Ashley. He’s got problems of his own as he reopens the shop and tries to cope. He cuts his finger when slicing a chunk of meat and finds a handwritten note Fred had left in the first aid box: “The butcher with a careless eye loses a finger in every pie”. It cracks Ashley up and he has a good cry until Claire comes in and says she’s going to change baby Thomas’ name to Freddie which cheers him up until Bev comes in with Ashley’s share of Fred’s ashes in an instant gravy granule jar which plunges him into the depths of despair once again.
Elsewhere on the Street this week, the Websters returned en famille sur la cobbles from France. I hope it’s not the last we see of Bill Webster, I liked having him around. Rosie gets a letter from Craig but Sally keeps it from her distraught daughter thinking it’ll make her want to run off to Berlin to be with him again.
Violet’s finished with Jamie and moved back in with Eileen so that’s Violet, Eileen, Sean and Jason living together in that teeny-tiny house. Sarah’s not happy to find out Jason and Violet are living under the same roof and she shoots daggers at the pair of them in the Rovers later. “Stop staring, will yer?” says Jason to Sarah. “I wasn’t staring, it was just the way me eyes were pointing” lies Sarah back.
Kirk’s bought Fiz a mop-head, sorry, that’s a moped. Or is it a scooter? Anyway, she’s loving it, revving up and down the cobbles at 30 miles per hour. It could possibly be the best idea Kirk has ever had.
Norris and Rita prepare for their Budapest binge. She’s all for visiting the steam baths while Norris wants “an odyssey of edifications” and plans to take a mini-kettle to make his own tea. Well, they don’t make it properly over there, do they?
And David finds out about Maria and Charlie after the pair of them use David as postie ferrying a love note between the salon and builder’s yard when Sarah takes Maria’s mobile phone to the shops. David reads the note, of course, as you do and tells Maria he’s rumbled her plan with the older fella who’s living with Tracy Barlow. Maria begs him to be quiet for now. David’s still playing truant and Gail gets a letter from the Education Authority threatening her with legal action if she doesn’t send her son into school.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Glenda
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