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Corrie weekly updates from 1995, 17 years in 17 e-books
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If you'd like your weekly update with pictures and fun Corrie stuff, have a look at : http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com/
Norris and Rita head off on holiday to Hungary after Rita's practiced a few chosen words in the foreign speak. She keeps repeating the phrase in Hungarian to anyone who'll listen, although no-one understands and then tells Ken it translates as: "Please excuse my friend, he has mental health problems". While they're away, Ken's in the Kabin under instruction from Norris with his idiot cards to running the place and constant phone calls from Budapest checking on the stock of aniseed balls. Ken runs the place fine until Adam helps out and Bev berates him for delivering Fred's golfing magazine (when did Fred ever golf?) which she'd cancelled after Fred died. Blanche reckons having her son-in-law working in the Kabin entitles her to free newspapers and sweets but Ken thinks otherwise. That is, until she says she'll tell Norris about sending magazines out to dead folk on the street unless she gets a free copy of The People's Friend, no questions asked. When Chesney wants a new pair of trainers, Cilla and Les take him into the Kabin, insisting Ken give him a job as paperboy. Ken says he'll have to wait until Norris returns. "Typical Guardian reader..." spits Cilla, "...all talk and no action". Unlike Les, of course, typical reader of The Daily Pulse which is all gossip, no news. Anyway, Norris returns from overseas, he's alone and has left the broad abroad. Rita's got her leg up in a Hungary hospital, too unwell to travel. Norris says he'll take Chesney on a weeks' trial delivering the papers.
Gail decides the Platt family are going to have counselling, the whole lot of them. Together. Whether they like it or not. I feel for the counsellor, I really do. David's still dodging off school and hanging around Maria. Jealous of her relationship with Charlie, he slashes the tyres on Charlie's van and damages the bodywork so Charlie decides to do the same to him. After an abortive attempt to kidnap David and rough him up in the back of his van, Charlie finds Maria's mobile phone in her flat after a session with the corrie crimper inspecting her duvet. Maria leaves Charlie in the flat as she heads back to work so he texts David who bounds round with his tongue hanging out only to get whisked upstairs by Charlie who sticks his head under the bath water and tries to drown him. It's dead good fun and I know I shouldn't say that 'cos it's like evil and stuff, but it really was good. "Who put the ram in the ramalamadingdong?" asks Charlie. David can't answer and gets dunked. "Who put the bop in the bopdebopshoobop?" No reply, another dunk. And so it goes, under the water, out, and under again until Maria comes in and yells at Charlie to stop. She knows he's up to no good and storms round to Tracy to tell her about her affair with her fella. Here we go again, I thought, as the two of them scrapped on the street, had a catfight on the cobbles. There must be more to a decent Corrie storyline than this? Am I alone in thinking it wasn't well done? Anyway, Charlie says he's sorry, Tracy moves back in and makes him sleep on the sofa as punishment. Deirdre howls to the moon outside of her daughter's front door: "You've got no self respect!". And this from the woman who flung herself at Dev in the most cringe-worthy episode, ever.
Frankie's moved back into Danny's bed in his flat at the quays and Jamie's still mooning love sick around his step-mum. As Debra Stephenson's real-life pregnancy makes itself known to the world, that quayside flat once again provides ample opportunities to hide the bump just like it once did when Leanne lived there too. Lamps, television screens, coffee machine, Danny Baldwin's ego - nothing's too small to be used as cover.
Fiz takes to the road in her new scooter, and announces that tramlines are now the bane of her life. Ouch.
Bev's still bitter, bladdered and boozed up at the end of the bar in the Rovers, hugging Fred's ashes in the urn as she gives Ashley his share of his dad in an instant gravy granule jar. Liz is looking to get Bev out of the pub and out of her life, but Bev shows no sign of moving and Ashley tells Liz the problem's not his. Not anymore.
In the cafe, Jason's leaning on the counter with his backside pointing at Cilla, Yana and Amber who compare his buttocks to a baboon's rear end. Thoughts then turn to Cilla's face and Amber upsets her by telling her just how old she thinks she looks. Yana tells her mate to stop drinking, start exercising and eat healthy but that sounds like too much hard work for Cilla who wonders how much going under the surgeon's knife would cost. It'll cost her every shred of self respect she ever had, along with her soul.
And finally this week, Bill Webster returned to Coronation Street, yay! He's moved in with Sally and Kev and proves he's still got a right hand made for holding a pint glass as he gives the glad-eye to barmaid Michelle in the Rovers. Sal's upset that Kev and Bill are in the Rovers drinking when she's made them a special dinner (extra beans) and by the time they return, drunk from the pub, the dinner's in ruins. Bill saves the day by offering to fetch fish suppers for all. "Can I have a cheese and onion pie, 'cos I'm a veggie" says Rosie to which sister Sophie says: "And can I have an extra sausage, 'cos I'm greedy". Wonderful stuff, it's good to have Bill back.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
By Glenda Young , writer of Coronation Street Weekly Updates for the internet since 1995.
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