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Wednesday 13 June 2012

Coronation Street Weekly Update - Oct 14 2002

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Norris, a pernickety Pisces, reads his stars in the paper and gets all a-flutter when they promise (but don't they always?) that today will be a good day for affairs of the heart. He gets even more a-flutter when one of Dr Who's former assistants, still looking more glamorous than K-9 ever managed, comes in to pay her mother's paper bill and tells Norris that sadly, her mother has died. Norris cancels the mother's subscription to Small-Ugly-Dogs-R-Us magazine and redeems her 97 books of Green Shield stamps for a garden gnome and a packet of Lambert and Butler. He tells the woman: "If there's anything I or any of my staff can do for you at this sad time….", as Rita gives him a raised eyebrow, a cold shoulder and a withered look (and all at the same time which is impressive for a woman of her age). The woman tells him that actually, yes, there is something he can do, if he really wants to he can look after Mr Woo the deceased's little dog, just for a while until things are sorted out. Norris is aghast - he can't stand dogs but the promised Piscean affairs of the heart with the lovely Diana Black win him over. "It's just a little shih-tzu," says Rita. "My thoughts exactly," says Norris. And so Mr Woo turns up on the street and he's a disgusting excuse for a dog. He arrives in a taxi, too precious to walk so gets carried around and has a hideous blue ribbon on top of his squashed little head. Rita offers to look after Mr Woo but as she goes off on her cruise with Mavis this week, he goes to live with Emily and Norris until she returns. As Emily gurgles baby noises at likkle Mr Woo, Norris fears for his life.

After swanning back to the Street and into the flat last week, Maria goes for an interview at Underworld as Joe needs a new machinist. She doesn't get the job despite doing her best to flirt for the Commonwealth now that she's returned from Canada as tart of the year. Never mind, she can get her maple syrup out for the boys now that she's working behind the bar at the Rovers. Fred isn't too bothered she's not pulled a pint before as long as she smiles and pulls in the punters.
So Underworld still needs a machinist and Joe can't believe his eyes when Karen McDonald walks in for an interview. He isn't impressed and doesn't want her there but she persuades him to give him an interview in which she 's as honest as she's ever been - she's a factory girl, she'll always be a factory girl and this is where she belongs. So Underworld have found their machinist although when Mike finds out he's not happy and when Steve finds out, he's confused why Joe would take her back when he refused Steve's request to take Karen back a few weeks ago.

In the corner shop, Deirdre offers Sunita a peace offering in a wine glass and the two of them decide to stay friends. Now that Sunita knows Deirdre had a fling with Dev, she reveals her own feelings for the Alahan man: "I love him Deirdre, I love him" she wails and there's big hugs all round (although if she wanted serious cheering up, reaching over to the Tunnocks on the top shelf would be a good way to start and I highly recommend it).

No storyline has quite upset me the way that the Richard Hillman one is managing to do right now. It's Audrey, poor Audrey, she doesn't deserve this, not at her time of life. He can mess Gail around and that's bad enough but she's young, energetic. Messing with Audrey's mind is too evil for words. Richard whisks Gail away on holiday with a bloke from the council and his missus to a villa in Andalucia. "It's beautiful," says Richard. "It is," I agree, having been there this summer. Anyway, the bloke from the council has been invited as a bribe by Richard in the hope he can put a stop to the bail hostel being built next to Richard's newly built (but not yet sold) flats. Of course, Gail doesn't know this. Before they go away, Richard sneaks into the salon and erases some of Audrey's clients from the appointments book and leaves a tap running in the sink. As Gail gives Audrey instructions on what to do with the kids this week, Audrey writes a list - which Richard takes as he leaves. When Audrey loses her list she's convinced she's losing her marbles and then when things go wrong at the salon, she thinks it's the start of Alzheimer's Disease. Archie convinces her to go to the doctor and she humours him, saying she will, but she doesn't. When Archie tells Martin how worried Audrey is, he agrees to move into his old house to look after the kids until Gail and Richard return.

There were plenty of tears from Geena this week as she tells Shelley she's moving away from the Street. Mind you, too much vodka and Coldplay can make anyone that desperate. But she's gone and I won't miss her. See you in Holby City, ladeh.

As Peter promenades with floral Lucy Lastic, some woman comes running at them, screaming she's just been mugged. Peter runs after the little muggers but doesn't catch them. With Lucy's help he bundles the woman into a taxi and gives her £20 for the fare. When the mugged woman turns up the next day at Peter's flat to repay the money, she chats to Shelley first and tells her, all innocent like, that Peter was with a woman on the day of the mugging. When Shelley questions Peter about it, he lies of course. And with Lucy Lastic later, as they're sitting on the sofa sipping something sparkling, it's obvious that he really couldn't give a toss about anyone but himself.

Les gets another visit from the Housing Officer and while she's there, Janice walks in and pretends she's moved back in with her husband. It's enough to convince the Housing Officer that Les and Janice are back as a couple and there's no longer the problem of Les being thrown back onto the scrap heap of Weatherfield Hall Estate. Unfortunately for Janice, it's also enough to convince Les that what she wants, what she really, really wants is to move back in as a couple too. Thick, stupid Les Battersby has got it wrong again. Zigazigaaah.

And elsewhere on the Street this week, Ken's surprised to receive a speeding ticket when he knows he wasn't even out in his car. What he doesn't know is that Ade Critchley has got a key to the car and goes joy-riding in it as and when he pleases. And PC Emma's up for promotion to Inspector Gadget
And that's just about that for this week.

Glenda


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