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Written by Nigel Worsfold as Glenda was away
Having disappeared in the night while he was staying at Anne
and Andy's house, Curly is next seen at home, where Judy comes
to call on him, thoughtfully bringing a pint of milk with her.
He asks her to let his bad news percolate around the community,
to prevent him having to tell everyone in turn. Eventually, having
tried and failed to tell Vera and Betty, Judy announces it to
everyone present in the pub. Jack goes on an errand of mercy to
visit Curly when the secret is out, but he doesn't disturb him,
as he's on the phone to his mum, telling her about the split.
There is a lump in the nation's throat as we see Curly remove
Raquel's outgoing message from the answerphone, replacing it with
a new message, dripping with pathos. Then comes the most touching
moment so far as he inhales her perfume from the dressing gown
she left hanging on the bedroom door. Then he weeps into it on
the pillow. Shares in Kleenex rocketed on reports of increased
sales. The next day in the pub he looks far more normal, as everyone
tries to cheer him up. Later Maureen calls round to offer comfort.
They share some wine until Bill comes to collect her, leaving
him alone once more.
Jack is very miffed about not receiving the same official invitation
to the stables that Fred had. With Don, young Jamie and Gary,
they go there under their own steam, in Don's taxi. Fred invites
Rita to the stables jaunt, and she accepts. Little does she know
at this stage, but it's Fred's intention to bring about a stable
relationship! Fred is disgusted to see the 'lads' arrive in the
taxi, and Jack is immediately attracted by something he sees.
Another owner is having his picture taken, seated on his horse.
Jack says this will make a nice Christmas card, so they dress
him up in all the right riding gear, including ill- fitting X-certificate
jodhpurs! Rita says he looks a pillock. Jamie loudly pops a crisp
bag, which spooks the horse, and it bolts with Jack still on board.
It's very plain to see that Jack is, in fact, probably safely
in the cast's mobile location canteen by this time, and a stunt
double is taking his place. I tried to think of the last time
a stunt double might have been used in the Street, but it will
take a better fan than me to say! Any ideas? Anyway, very soon
it's four faults, and like something off The Rolling Stones Greatest
Hits....yes...Jumping Jack Crash! He lands in an ungainly heap,
whereupon he is transported to hospital.
It's discovered he has broken several bones and slipped a disc.
He's not badly hurt; well enough to tell Vera to 'Bog off!' as
she sits reading a magazine at his bedside. He's pleased to learn
that his beloved pigeons are in the safe hands of Jamie.
While he's walking her home, Fred proposes marriage to Rita.
He tells her not to reply immediately. She looks at him all dewey-eyed.
Later Mavis ridicules the whole notion, but Rita tells her she
intends to accept. Derek advises Fred not to rush Rita in any
way; not to pressure her. Fred is very happy to accept Derek's
counsel, and thanks him warmly for the advice. Derek hopes this
will smooth his path into the Square Dealers if Fred owes him
a favour. Fred goes to the shop to tell Rita to think a while
longer about the offer. She ponders on.
In the Hourglass, Fiona warbles anew, having walked out on
the gig she was meant to do earlier the same evening because the
London agent, whom Alec had promised, was no-where to be seen.
Alec is very angry at this, and gives her a right lecture! Liz
is serving continuous drinks to a mystery man who is quite clearly
very interested in her. As he leaves, he tucks an envelope, bearing
her name, behind the bar where she will find it. She later opens
it, to find a thousand pounds inside, and a note saying it's from
a friend of her son. She later asks Andy, and so manages to narrow
it down somewhat to Steve, he of the cartoon eyes and the red
vest. Previously, Liz visits the rotten little recidivist in the
slammer, and tells him about her developing liaison with Sean.
Steve is not best pleased. One of Steve's chokey chums mistakes
Liz as being Steve's sister. Perhaps this is because she looks
so slim, young and generally super, and has groomed herself to
within an inch of her life!
But the main storyline to launch the legendary Fourth Episode
is the developing closeness of Ken and one of his ex-wives.
Deidre calls on him to show him the wedding pictures. A bottle
of wine is opened. She offers him an enlargement. (Being a clean-living,
decent sort of chap, I shall resist any obvious SMUT at this stage,
but let it be known.....I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE ALL THINKING!!) They
chit chat about their woeful stab at the old matrimonial lark,
and it all gets rather contemplative and wistful. Deidre leaves
all of a sudden because she feels it's all getting a bit too comfortable,
whatever that means.
The next evening, Ken calls on her, and she invites him in.
Before you can say 'neck' one thing has led to another, and she's
leading him by the hand to the bedroom. We are then treated to
a monumental display of unbridled LUST. I covered up the parrot's
cage. He can only stand so much. The two of them are horizontal,
he's on top of her. God help him. God help HER!! His tongue has
taken on a life of its own, and is probing wildly around her molars.
Has Ken discovered another of those erroneous zones?? He's a boy,
that old Ken. The effect on her neck could only be guessed at.
The phone rings, but they ignore it. They are swept away on
an orgasmic tide of midlife whats-name! The caller, trying desperately
to get through, is Kelly, because Denise and her paramour Brian
have arrived to take Daniel away to a new life with his 'doting'
mother. Denise looks determined to snatch the boy away, having
shaken off all traces of inappropriate nicknames! When Ken and
Deidre's ardour has finally cooled, he comes to the phone where
Kelly tells him what's happening. They race back to Ken's, where
he eventually allows her to take Daniel, having read a solicitor's
letter telling him she has the law firmly on her side. Ken surely
knew all along that he had no legal rights to the child of his
mistress. Later he reluctantly tells Kelly her nannying services
are no longer required. Ken goes to see his own solicitor, who
tells him things look pretty bleak, but the case is 'pleadable'.
There were some very strong acting performances over these
four episodes, but my personal Oscar goes to Kelly, as she demonstrated
her distress at Daniel being taken.
That's all for tonight. I'm off to Bangalore, where I believe
Raquel is appearing in Miss World. I intend to cover myself in
Cadbury's chocolate as a protest.
Good night, and I love you all.
Nigel
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