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Thursday 14 June 2012

Coronation Street Weekly Update - Nov 20 2001

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This week's update written by Janet Penny as Glenda was away.

Maxine joins Charlie and Emma for a drink in the Rovers. When Emma complains that Curly has to work late and miss their first antenatal class on Wednesday, Max immediately volunteers. Taken aback, Emma thanks her but replies that Charlie has already done so. Charlie's a bit surprised, and even more reluctant, but completely understands that Max is far too much into this motherhood thing. Charlie agrees to go along, just this once.

When last we left Spider and Toyah, the former had been sobbing uncontrollably upon hearing the recent history of his past partner. Exhausted with empathy, the two had fallen asleep on the settee. Suspicious Norris, proving to be as adept at snooping as Blanche, was still in his pyjamas, spying through the keyhole, when Emily arrives back earlier than expected. As one might imagine, the sight of Norris' backside in full bloom, as it were, momentarily startles her. However, when she discovers the object of her lodger's undercover work, she is filled with joy. Norris goes into a big sulk when his nudge, nudge, wink, wink comments are totally ignored.

However, it's nothing compared to the strop Sam gets into when he notices Sam and Toyah exchanging a big hug on the doorstep. After all, he'd already been to the Battersby's looking for her. Janice, not as energised as Les from the Chinese takeaway and night of passion the night before, had told him Toyah had left early for college.

Sam cries to Dennis "But it's not fair Ö she's MY girlfriend and I don't want him around! And besides, I have nicer buttocks than he does!" (I may have made that last bit up) but Dennis has enough on his plate what with his own love triangle (rectangle?). He tells Sam just to go and have it out with Spider. Sam stomps across the street, interrupting family lunch (in my experience, never a wise move to disrupt anyone's feeding time, just like at the zoo). Spider's protestations of mere friendship go unheeded. Emily, raising magnificently to the occasion, tells Sam in no uncertain terms that he should have more faith in Toyah, considering just what that poor girl has been through in the past year. Ashamed, Sam slinks away and at last finds Toyah. In no uncertain terms, she also hauls him over the coals, particularly as she and Spider shared no more than emotions last night. As a proud woman of the Noughties (the first decade of the 21st century), she tells him to get over it as the three of them will be having a drink later.

However, Norris isn't that far off Ö Spider has found a great location in London where he intends to open "Nugent's" ñ an organic juice bar, soon to be THE place where all the glitterati gather for their carrot and beetroot fixes. Though he has arranged some support from the bank, he's a bit short of the readies. That's if you can count 20,000 as a bit short (already he's thinking in London terms!). And, he was Ö well Ö rather wondering if Ö ermmm Ö his favourite auntie Ö uh Ö would be interested in Ö how do I put it Ö investing in an incredible business opportunity? Well, of course she is! After all, aunties are supposed to help out with cash when needed! Personal aside: Aunt Dorothy, I know you read these updates, so please pay close attention to these scenes ñ I have a very expensive year coming up!!!

Unfortunately, Auntie Em doesn't have a money tree out in the back yard (nothing ever grew in those back yards except Jack's pigeons), though she does think it's a good idea for Spider to have his inheritance when he needs it and when she can see him benefit. However, Rita has more than a few words to say on the subject ñ after all, she thought the same about Sharon, and look what happened there! Fortuitously, Richard the Financial Advisor walks into the Kabin, so Emily makes an appointment as she had previously visited the surgery to ask Gail if she thought he would mind.
The option Richard suggests for Emily is to use the equity in her home to sell it to a company who then guarantee her accommodation for her lifetime. She's convinced this is the perfect answer, though predictably Norris isn't! He is becoming more and more Percy Sugden-ish, insisting on involving himself in her affairs. When he hears about Spider's plans, he intimates nasty, dishonest things about her favourite nephew. Fiesty Emily turns on him, reminding Norris of the time he found that collector's train in the charity box she was filling. Realising its true worth, he tried to cheat Weatherfield Hospital until she put a stop to it. So, we'll say no more about Spider, shall we, Norris? Well, not for the moment anyway! After all, though he may have once been Salesman of the Year, if he's that good, why is he now selling Dolly Mixtures in a corner shop?

Back in the Rovers, the Spider/Sam/Toyah drinks party isn't going so well. Compared with the night before, conversation flows like treacle, so Spider makes a quick escape. Later in the Battersby abode, he reveals his plans to Toyah, who is excited for him. They share a kiss, and Spider is very excited. Yes, they're still truly soulmates, and he mentally makes a few alterations to his dream.
He is leaving that afternoon with the cheque from Auntie Em to return to London and proposes that Toyah join him. Maybe not today, but soon. She promises to think about it. Taking it as a given, Spider can hardly wait to share his good news with Sam, who becomes totally despondent.
Toyah discusses Spider with Janice, who would be heartbroken to see her go off to the Big Smoke. It's almost like in the film "Babe" ñ once a Weatherfield character leaves for London, they just don't return! However, she advises her to do what her heart tells her to do. Someone is going to be hurt, and she just doesn't want it to be Toyah.

As I had rather hoped, Five of Four as 'im upstairs likes to call her (it has something to do with the T-shirt she wears and her resemblance to one of the more pneumatic Star Trek characters), has decided that she cannot repeat the past. She's staying in Weatherfield to finish her degree. Spider is crushed, Sam, looking rather like an overgrown puppy, is positively beside himself with joy.
I'll just state that the Janice/Dennis lurve thang is still to-ing and fro-ing. I am terribly disappointed in Blanche as she appears to have missed the most interesting piece of gossip the street has seen for a while! One minute, they're going to try and patch things up with their respective partners, the next they are sticking their tongues down each other's throat. They're both teetering between passion and guilt, and it is clear that it's going to end badly for someone. They're going to wait until after the holiday in Tenerife to tell Les and Eileen. Or are they? Dennis has decided that he'd like to give Eileen a nice Christmas first (nice of him to bother).

Molly's got a big smile on her face ñ she has a date with John, a medical rep! Kev gets a bit bolshie, particularly when she asks him to please clear off in case she wants to bring John home. He goes off to the Rovers where Duggie suggests that as hot, single men they should head off to a new wine bar as he's got a couple of passes. Heavens knows why Duggie thinks Kev might be a babe magnet, but I suppose that there may be some desperate ones who go for the miserable big girl's blouse type.
He's in the bathroom shaving, wearing nowt more than some boxers (nice chest hair, Kev!) when Molly returns with John. He pauses for much longer than the acceptable time limit, trying to decide what to do. When he finally does make a move to step not-so quietly towards his bedroom, Molly and John spring apart from their clinch in total shock. Well, to be fair, John's considerably more shocked than Molly, as he thought she lived alone. He stomps off, never to be seen again (probably going to London). Molly screams at Kev that she's moving out. Kev stands Duggie up without an explanation as he tries to change her mind. But, that's it, she's not budging, she's off to her sister's in the morning. She tells him that she feels really sorry for Sally, having to put up with such a control-freak all these years.

Ken makes numerous attempts to make it up to her, but she's not having it. In the Rovers, she hands him back the keys. She isn't impressed with all the knowing comments people have been making lately, so he calls for attention and announces to the crowd (without benefit of faulty microphone, I may add) that they are just good friends, so the gossip can stop right here, right now. A couple of members of the Widows Club smile at each other (they probably read ahead in the script).
Molly and Kev return back to his / their place, gaze into each other's eyes and promptly jump straight into a snog. The next day, Kev confides that although he has feelings for Molly, he doesn't want to push her into anything, so they could continue to have separate bedrooms. The hussy replies that yes, they could Ö but not tonight, eh! Funny, I never knew Molly was Canadian! Actually, I think Molly will be very good for Kev as she won't let him be a miserable so-and-so!

And now to my favourite storyline of the week Ö With the Duckies returning half of the savings account back to Tyrone, he is feeling flush, and Fizz knows just exactly on whom she wants him to spend it. Vera, sizing her up precisely, tells Tyrone not to blow all his money on rubbish. Fizz has decided that they're off for a slap-up meal, complete with champagne.

She's chosen a continental restaurant, and poor Tyrone's feeling out of his depth, telling the waiter "I'll just have what she's having." His face brightens with pride, as Fizz proceeds to order three courses, all in French! Tyrone's well impressed. Fizz tells him that, as she's in the fashion industry, she thought she should learn the language of haute couture!

After gobbling it all down, Fizz announces that they are going to make a run for it. She informs him that she'll head off to the Ladies, and when she tips him the nod, he's to leg it. As soon as the door closes behind her, Tyrone scoots over to the cashier, pays the bill and scampers off down the street with Fizz, pretending it's the greatest wheeze he's ever pulled.

Fizz has also expressed an interest in going for a drive in Vikram's new car, and isn't the least put out when he laughs in her face. Poor Clyde is completely under Bonnie's control as she orders him to cut the alarm in Vik's car. She hops into the driver's seat and before you can say "No, Tyrone ñ don't do it Ö go back to Maria" she's whizzed them off into another industrial estate. At the traffic lights, a police car pulls up beside them. Tyrone shrinks into the passenger seat, but Fizz is in her element. She starts making little moues with her mouth, licking her lips, blowing kisses and generally sexually harassing the copper. Embarrassed, he speeds off!

The lights change and Fizz, looking to really put it to the test, speeds off onto the motorway. Back at Streetcars, Vik realises his car is missing. He angrily accosts Steve Macdonald, who tells him that he never noticed the alarm going off as they tend to blend into the background. Vik checks with Norris who tells him that if he ran outside every time he heard a car alarm, he'd never get any work done. Steve smirks as Norris proves the point he made earlier. Vik is absolutely gutted.

Fizz pulls off the motorway, having thought of yet another scheme. She orders Tyrone to get his kit off (shades of Children in Need!) ñ they are going to "christen" the car!! Smiles on both their faces, they walk away afterwards, probably to catch about six buses to return home. Tyrone's feeling a bit guilty, even more so when he spots a police car parked in the street.

He and Fizz are having a couple of drinks in the Rovers when Vik comes in to celebrate the good news ñ the car is back. It looks in good knick, but Vikram books Tyrone to give it the once over. He mentions he was absolutely disgusted to find a huge pair of red Granny knickers under the front seat! He's repulsed by the mere thought of what must have happened in his pride and joy. I would have felt absolutely humiliated being thought of as Bridget Jones' fat relative, but Fizz beams and confides later to Tyrone that she actually placed them there for Vik to find!

Finding little emotional support form her spouse, Vera confides in Curly about how scared she is of Terry's impending trial. Though Emma's not thrilled about his involvement, he tells Vera that she can count on him to be there with her.

At the courthouse, Terry keeps doubling up in pain from a stomach ache. The judge is solicitous without being gullible, and orders a trial for January. Due to the seriousness of the charge, there's no bail so Terry must spend Christmas and New Year in the clink. There's a view of the copper who set him up, and he does look a rum lot.

The guards take Terry to the toilet, where they uncuff him, though stay within the area to the most musical sounds of Terry in pain. He comes back out to let them know that his efforts have blocked the toilet. When they go to investigate, Terry pushes past and is off. He tries a window, but it won't budge. He legs it back into the Court, past a startled Vera and is away. The guards and a policeman run out of the building, but Terry's disappeared.

To Vera, this act just proves Terry is innocent, but Jack is far more worldly and insists it's the deed of the guilty. The police car pulls up (that's the one Tyrone sees); they're visiting to check that Terry's not back in his old room. They stress that should he be in touch, it's best to call them and let them know. There's a backshot of the alley where Terry is lurking. He notices the coppers and scurries away, luckily not in the direction of that other copper.

Terry's solicitor comes to call. She mentions that since he's on the run, she considers that she no longer has a client, therefore would like her payment. Jack waits until she leaves to blow up at Vera, particularly after finding out that it's just cost them 3,000. Tyrone walks in, and Jack thunders that he's worth ten of Terry. Poor Tyrone has a guilty look on his face, but neither of them notice. Jack's far more upset over the fact that Vera lied to him Ö how can he trust her again?

She goes off to the Rovers, and almost immediately there's a hammering on the back door. It's Terry. Jack lets him in, but tells him to leave as he's going to call the police. He actually picks up the phone, but Terry plays his trump card. What would happen if Vera hears that Jack is the one who shopped Terry? Jack slowly returns the receiver to the telephone as he agrees to listen to Terry's side of the story. He does listen, but still tells Terry to go.

In the Rovers, Brenda the new lollipop lady is praising that studmuffin ñ Jack Duckworth! She's got quite a case of the hots for him. Vera is in the next booth, listening intently. Suddenly, she can't take anymore and reverts to the old Vera, warning Lollipop Lady to keep her mittens off HER man!
As she stomps back into the house, Jack pushes Terry out the back, telling him to hide in the outside loo. Vera is suspicious that Jack is acting so suspiciously! She demands to know what's going on between him and Brenda, but he insists there's nothing. She warns him that there'd better not be. Vera then sighs as she wonders what's happened to her son.

As soon as possible, Jack heads back into the yard, giving Terry a map to the allotment and tells him to wait there. As Jack opens the gate, he is startled to run into Emma, who is sympathetic but reiterates that if Jack knows anything, he should tell the police.

Terry settles in comfortably into allotment life. Jack comes to bring supplies, but is headed off by that friend who came to his birthday party last week. Jack turns down the offer of the poker game, letting the bloke believe that he has a woman inside. He finally gets rid of him and goes inside to give Terry a food parcel. Terry is absolutely starving and tears into the big bar of chocolate (probably Cadbury's). My mate, Nick, says that when he was in a scuba diving group which included Terry in real life, he saw/heard him eat soup. From his description of extremely poor table manners, I was relieved it was only chocolate!

Anyway, by admitting to causing Judy Mallett's death and being a rotten dad to little Tommy, Terry manages to convince Jack that he is indeed innocent. But, how on earth is Terry going to get out of this mess?


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