NEW FOR KINDLE...
Corrie weekly updates from 1995, 17 years in 17 e-books
All the wit and warmth of Weatherfield, none of the waffle
Available from amazon.co.uk or amazon.com
Check out the Coronation Street Blog - it's FAB
Glenda was away, this week's update written by Ian Harding
The McDonald saga continues to wend its weary way along the
cobbles of Weatherfield. Is it my imagination, or do they take
it in turn to be stupid? This week it was Liz's turn. Casting
common sense aside she decides that Jim has been leading her on.
It seems that just because he slept with her after she threw herself
at him, following an evening spent consuming a lot of red wine,
Liz assumed that her and Jim were about to re-marry. But now that
she knows about Jims night of passion with Fiona she realises
the truth. Jim was only using her to take his mind off the wee
girl he's in love with.
After a particularly noisy scene in the Rovers, where Liz made
sure that everyone knew that Jim had been to bed with Fiona, Andy
decides that he can take no more of this incessant embarrassment
and leaves Coronation Street forever. He didn't even stay around
to say bye. He just left a note addressed to 'Jim McDonald', and
headed off into the sunset in search of the bright lights of London.
Steve seems to be thinking about leaving too. He tells his
dad that after they finish the job they're on with, he'll be on
his way too. He seems slightly miffed that his dad has slept with
his ex-girlfriend.
Fiona isn't too keen on the idea of everyone knowing that she's
slept with Jim, so she decides to take a holiday for a couple
of weeks. Foolishly she asks Audrey to help Maxine to run the
salon while she's away.
Meanwhile, Alec seems to be running some sort of escort agency
for senior citizens called 'Golden Years'. One of his male escorts
lets him down, so Alec asks Ken if he fancies a free night at
the opera with 'an old friend'. Knowing what Alec is like, Ken
realises that there must be some sort of catch, but eventually
decides to go for it. Alec assures him that he won't regret it.
Ken meets the lady at a hotel. She's a very attractive woman
of about fifty called Geraldine. Ken impresses Geraldine with
his knowledge of opera and his ability to eat his meal without
dribbling his food down the front of his shirt. They both obviously
enjoy each others company. Geraldine tells Ken that before he
died her husband used to take to the opera, but for the last two
years she hasn't had anyone to go with.
At the end of the evening Ken is rather surprised when, as
they are saying a polite goodnight, Geraldine hands him an envelope
addressed to Golden Years, and asks him to give it to Alec. 'What's
this?' asks Ken, 'It's your fee...and you've earned it' replies
Geraldine as she walks away. Quick as a flash Ken realises what
the catch was.
Geraldine telephones Alec to thank him for supplying Ken for
the evening, and says that she'd like him to be her escort again.
Alec says that Ken is very popular and that it probably won't
be possible to book him again. He soon changes his mind when Geraldine
offers to pay a higher fee next time.
The next day Ken tells Alec exactly what he thinks of him,
and lets him know that he'll never do such a thing again..........
until Alec hands him an envelope containing fifty pounds in cash.
'It's tax free' says Alec. Suddenly Ken looks thoughtful. It looks
as if our Kenneth may have found a new career for himself.
Poor old Deirdre is heading for a very big fall with the lying
fake ex- pilot Jon. He seems to be incapable of telling the truth
about anything.
Deirdre says that since things are going so well between them
maybe they should get married. Jon doesn't seem too keen on the
idea....I wonder why.
At Sunliners they're having a bit of a 'do'. There's a ceremony
where they are handing over a prize of a free holiday to a couple
of lucky customers. Deirdre talks Jon into attending. When Jon
realises that there are press photographers in attendance he looks
less than happy. He looks even more uncomfortable when one of
the photographers takes a couple of shots of him and Deirdre.
For some reason, which isn't properly explained, Jon has a
brand new SAAB delivered to him the next day, so he can have a
test drive over the weekend. The salesman who delivered the car
mentions that they don't mind delivering cars in this way, especially
for pilots like Jon. (This whole scene really looked like an advertisement
for SAAB cars to me - the salesman shows Jon [and us] all the
wonderful features of the car - I wonder how much it cost SAAB).
Jon tells Deirdre that the SAAB is his new car. What he hopes
to gain by this I really don't know. But it gets even dafter.
The next day Deirdre asks where the new car is and Jon says it's
been stolen, but he doesn't seem very upset by it. This storyline
is either totally stupid and pointless, or next week we're going
to see it reach some sort of conclusion - I hope.
Deirdre is excited to find that there's a photograph of her
and Jon in the local newspaper. She tells Jon that she's going
to see if she can get copies of them. Jon seems to have other
things on his mind. Later that day we see Jon at home with his
wife. Jons wife is looking at the newspaper and wonders why there's
a large hole cut out of one of the pages. 'It was a special offer'
says Jon 'but its OK, there was nothing special on the other side,
just a picture of an award or something'..... ...oooooooh.....
you little liar Jon!
Now that Fred, I say Fred, has managed to buy the corner shop
from Maude he gets some shop fitters in to rip out the old fixtures
and install new ones.
Maude calls into the shop to tell Fred, once again, what a
fat barrel of lard he is. While she's there, and while Freds back
is turned, Maude hides a large fresh fish (which it seems she
had bought from the fishmonger) inside one of the new units. She
leaves the shop with a smile on her face.
Ashley is annoyed with his uncle Fred for paying less than
the asking price for the corner shop. Maude was asking 70,000
and Fred offered her 62,000, which she accepted (It seemed like
a fair price to me). Ashley is so annoyed in fact, that he tells
his uncle Fred that he refuses to work for him any more. Unfortunately
for Ashley, Maxine shows her true colours when he tells her about
this. She tells him to get back to uncle Fred and to ask for his
job back. She makes it very clear that he isn't going to scrounge
off her.
Fred can't face going into the house he bought for himself
and Maureen any more, and decides to make things better between
himself and his favourite nephew, by offering to let him and Maxine
stay there until a buyer is found for it. Ashley is having none
of this. He says he can't be bought off in this way. Again, Maxine
puts her foot down, and it looks as if she and Ashley will be
moving into number four next week. This could prove to be rather
interesting as a few days earlier Leanne and Nick had found the
door to number four unlocked...........
At last, somewhere for them to be alone together. Somewhere
where they won't be disturbed by nosy parents, or by ex-school
teachers crashing through the ceiling. Poor Gail seems to have
forgotten what it was like to be young. She's been shouting at
Nick, telling him what a bad girl Leanne is, and that she doesn't
want him to be going out with such a slut. Nick tells her that
he and Leanne are in love with each other. Obviously he's delighted
that there's somewhere to go to be out of the way of his mum.
Nick and Leanne go to Freds place every night to drink various
alcoholic drinks, and do what comes naturally. Unfortunately,
one of the things which comes naturally to Leanne is to make a
mess. She does this with great style and dexterity at number four
by accidentally ripping a central heating radiator off the wall........oops!
Water floods out of the pipe. Leanne is ready to just leave it,
but Nick says that wouldn't be right, and so he calls a plumber.
The plumber fixes the radiator easily. He suggests that Nick
and Leanne 'do it' in the middle of the room next time, then asks
for £40. Nick says he only has £30, and Leanne only
has a fiver. The nice man accepts the £35 and leaves. Nick
looks rather worried - the £30 he's just spent was given
to him by Alf and Audrey, and it was supposed to be used to buy
text books for college. Oh dear........ I think you are going
to be in trouble young man!
And finally, I think that sales of the Coronation Street 'Las
Vegas' video must be slow. Vera has received a horrible pink bra
from a man in America. Apparently he made it specially for her
as she's the only woman he's seen for ages who has breasts which
move. There doesn't seem to be any reason for this storyline.
I can only assume that they're trying to con us into buying the
video to see all those firm breasted young ladies Vera keeps mentioning.
Ian Harding
Follow the Coronation Street Blog on Twitter and Facebook
No comments:
Post a Comment