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There was a right carry on in the corner shop when Geena told Dev
their relationship's over after she found out he had slept with Deirdre
at Christmas. Dev's keen for Deirdre to keep schtum about it to save
face for him but it starts to look bad for Deirdre and she can keep
quiet no longer. Not content with putting up with Dev's remarks about
her being desperate and drunk, she tells Geena the truth about their
Christmas coitus. Dev's incensed that Deirdre has told Geena. "I've
lost everything for a quick fu... mble" he shouts at Deirdre in the
shop. "You make me physically sick!" Meanwhile, I'm shouting at the
telly "Deirdre! Get the fu... mble out of there before he throws you
out". Too late. "Get out!" he tells Deirdre. "You're sacked!". But
how to tell Ken? Well, she hasn't, not yet. Much as my brother used to
do when playing truant from school, Deirdre sets off on the morning,
comes home on the evening and no-one's the wiser at home. Well, not
until her from number six told my mother she'd seen truant son smoking
in the Wimpy on a Thursday afternoon when he should have been making a
pan stand in metalwork. Anyway, while Ken thinks she's out working,
Deirdre spends all day in the cafe and Vera's face is a gem - curious
and wondering but saying very little.
Also in the cafe, Roy is overjoyed that the council has allowed him a
special dispensation to go ahead with his battle re-enactment on the red
rec. He tries out an ancient recipe of calf shin stew (mixed with eye
of newt, 200 gross of parsnips and a peasant's leg) to serve up on the
day but it doesn't go down too well with the tasters. Ken says it's the
worst thing he's ever tasted although Hayley eats every last drop.
Shelley tells Peter she wants him to take her shopping so he can buy her
a jacket just like Posh Spice's. That'll be a visit to New Look then
for a white nylon number at £14.99 because no matter what she wears or
how much it costs, that's what Posh? (Pish!) Spice always looks like
she's wearing. As they head out to the shops Shelley checks that Peter
has got his credit card with him: "If there's one thing I love more than
you, it's your little flexible friend". Indeed. Never mind the quality
just feel the credit limit, just don't bend it too much because it
often snaps in half. Anyway, they set off for town in a Streetcars cab
driven by Steve: "Driver!" "What?" "The Shops!", and when he picks
them up later Shelley's wearing her new jacket. It's the first time
she's worn it so gets rather upset to find she's sat on some chewing gum
which has stuck to her new coat. But when Peter asks Steve to pay the
dry cleaning bill, insisting the gum must have been on the seat in the
cab, Steve refuses to pay up, insisting it wasn't. And then it all
gets very manic and very, very funny. Steve goes to the bookies to
place a 50p bet and ends up goaded by Peter and Blanche into betting
£100 on a 5-1 win. As he and Karen sit in the cab listening to the race
on the radio, geeing on their horse and riding along with the jockey (a
wonderful scene), the horse comes in and Steve's quids in. Off he goes
to the bookies to collect his £600 winnings but Peter refuses to pay
until Steve pays Shelley's dry cleaning bill. "You pay me and I'll pay
you. Your move, taxi-boy". Worse is still to come for Steve when he
loses his betting slip and he can't believe Peter can hold out on paying
up but after a word with seasoned gambler Jack, he finds out that
gambling debts are not recoverable in law (no, I didn't know either).
Not content to take this quietly, Steve spreads the news that Peter
won't honour his win. He leads a revolt in the bookies and after a cry
of "Everybody out!", Peter's left with Blanche as his only customer.
Gail and Dicky get cosy in the Rovers and he tells her he sees a rosy
future ahead. That's all well and good but think of the thorns, the
green-fly and the man next door chopping the head off your blooms.
The Peacocks continue to play happy families. Ashley's moved back into
bed with Maxine and seems to accept baby Josh as his own. Fred's taken
over as temporary licensee at the Rovers and refuses to take telephone
calls from Eve when she rings him at the pub.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
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