Corrie weekly updates from 1995, 17 years in 17 e-books
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Written by John Dean (Glenda was taking a
break from the updates)
Here we are - back in the old familiar seat. Oh - new title sequence for the Street? A Narrator's voice . 'Valgaeren to Mjallby to Larrson .' wait - with those names it must be a Scottish Football Team. B*****r - I'm on the wrong side.
This is more like it - Curly still sulking and refusing to go for a celebratory drink with his wife, Mick and Janice (That's three people, BTW not 'his wife Mick' and Janice). A transformed Dev presents Sunita with a new sari all the way from Mumbai. And Claire the Babysitter has made stew and dumplings so Ashley invites her to the Harris's / Nelsons' party. Kirk is upset that his best mate is in jail and now he'll have no-one to talk to after the pubs shut. Fizz suggests he gets a cat. Blanche invites Wally round for salmon sandwiches (but doesn't cut the crusts off - what will he think?) And as Janice and Mick walk home we get the classic dialogue : Jan - I wonder what Les is doing now? Mick - About six months actually.
Joe and Karen are still writing cheques for improbably large amounts - the latest one is for eight grand. Don't they know Mike has an accountant?
The Harris's party goes with a bang. Well, a dull thud. The Grrrlz from theFactory have bought the family a new house sign - Dunhidin. (Will they buy one for Les - Dunactin? Oh, wait, he never started in the first place.) K-k-k-Katie's c-c-c-crush on Martin becomes evident when she beats him three nil at football in the back garden. And even more evident when she springs on him and applies the deadly Weatherfield liplock.
Kirk and Fizz visit Les in jail. (Isn't it funny how all the prisoners who get visitors are on the netball team?). It turns out all the other consthink he's a hero for sticking one on a copper, but this doesn't cheer him up. 'I can't do 6 months', he moans to Kirk. (Well, as Lord Chief Justice Goddard once said to the prisoner in the dock who said he was too old to do seven years 'Just do as much as you can') Emma is called in to see the Super. She expects a rollicking but gets a promotion. (Funny coincidence - that used to happen to me. Oh, wait, it was the other way round). There's an Inspector's post lined up for her to 'get her out of the way of reprisals' when Les is released. But she can't tell anyone because the Inspector she is replacing doesn't yet know he's going to be transferred. (Now that *did* happen to me). So obviously she tells Curly and Mick. Curly doesn't want the champagne she has bought and tells Emma she has crossed the line. Emma tells him he's not living in the real world, a she has to. 'I killed a man. You have to decide whether Ben looks better in red or blue'. Oo-er. Still, if you put it that way . Curly delivers his ultimatum - choose between your marriage and your job because you can't have both.
Steve goes round to see Karen and tries to start a row for old times sake. She can't be provoked. This *really* upsets Steve - 'What happened to hating me? I slept with another woman in our bed'. But Karen can't summon the energy for a row. She just wants a divorce. She finally takes the wedding ring off her necklace. Steve concedes - he will admit to adultery to expedite the divorce. But he hopes his partner in adultery doesn't have to be named. 'Oh aye' says Karen 'Do yer still remember 'er name then?' She is well ahead on points here. Later a pair of jiggly bazooms enter the Rovers closely followed by Karen who buys Steve a pint for auld lang syne, prompting Shelleyto ask Steve if things are now OK between them. 'Oh Aye', says Steve, 'We're thinking of going on Mr and Mrs' ( N. America 'Newlywed game' ). Karen confirms that she and Steve are about to make two Solicitors
very happy. Deirdre's opinion is that Steve and Karen getting together has saved another couple from having a hard time.
Meantime Wally has come round to see Blanche. Since she isn't there he offers to be her grand-daughter's sugar daddy. As yer do. Tracy is outraged.Until she subsequently discovers that Wally is a retired millionaire. At which point she smiles her scary Callisto smile and has obviously decided that a sugar daddy who actually has a lot of sugar is not such a bad idea after all.
Kirk and Fizz organise a Les Battersby memorial BBQ (if only!) in the back garden with sausages and Status Quo to wind Curly up. Which works fine. He has another go at Emma who threatens to remove Ben as she is the Mother and the Breadwinner. So Curly locks her out of the house and throws her clothes out of the window in a bin bag. The neighbours come out to watch, obviously. Emma harangues them 'D'yer mind? This is private'. 'Not' as Norris wisely points out 'very'. And Fizz suggests Emma should arrest Curly for a breach
of the peace.
Todd and Emma discuss the reality of 'living in a scuzzy bed-sit in Oxford'. Excuse me? Scuzzy? Oxford? I think not. Dev arrives in the Rovers where Deirdre is explaining that Dev is easy going now that he has split with Tracey whereas she, Deirdre, is all wound up because Tracey has come back home. Seeing Dev standing at the bar with Deirdre & Sunita, Tracey asks if he is holding a meeting of the Dev Alahan Fan Club. 'Just the Weatherfield branch' says old smoothie-chops. He asks Sunita out and she turns up for the date looking gorgeous in herspecial-present sari. But Dev is late because Steve lets him down and Sunita has gone. He phones to explain but she won't listen.
All excellent stuff, and proof you don't need serial killers to have gripping story-lines.
John Dean
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