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Since the last time I was here, we have been receiving organic fruit
and veggie boxes from the farm just up the lane (come on, the farmers!)
and, quite frankly, we've had to be quite inventive with the glut that has
come our way. So, Glenda, in the fridge in the corner I've left you a very
nice rocket, spinach and watercress salad with chunks of melon and dressing,
cauliflower cheese, rhubarb custard pie for pudding and, in case you get
a little peckish later, some chocolate zucchini muffins. I noticed you
still had enough cider and a cheeky Shiraz to wash it all down. That must
mean that none of the other substitute Corrie Update writers have been in!
Anyway, I'll just take a mouthful of homemade strawberry ice cream
then it's on with this week's report … This one's for The Duck.
Maria thinks it's absolutely brilliant that Kirkeh has proposed (well,
she would, wouldn't she, since it was really her that pushed him into it)
and is totally gobsmacked when Fiz tells her that she has knocked him back.
I don't understand it - surely Maria, no matter how much she loves her
brother (and that too should be a bit wobbly considering he's lost her
inheritance) can see that he's not exactly love's young dream. I mean,
I'm quite fond of my brother, but I can still spot his faults (what do you
mean you don't have any, Brian? Sisters can ALWAYS spot the weaknesses and
exploit them too if they've a mind … come to think of it, it will cost you
£10 for me not to tell Dad about having to fix the pool!). Maria blames
herself, quite rightly, and Kirkeh doesn't know how he'll manage without
Fiz. Me either.But Maria doesn't help matters for a reunion when she calls
Kirkeh's little Fizzistick funny and "dumpy" to her face. "Well," Fiz retorts,
"I'd rather have a reputation for being a laugh, not the local bike!" Cilla
seems to be coping admirably well with Les' absence and without him to
hold her back from excesses, starts coming after Kirk for rent when all
he can do is mourn his lost love. Well, not quite. He's come up with a
plan to get a new job – there's two or three going in the Weatherfield
Gazette and he's determined to show Fiz he's still in the game (as opposed
to Leanne who is on it). He bumps into Fiz as he's mailing off half a dozen
applications and she congratulates him for getting on with things. Naturally,
he interprets it a little differently than mere kindness.
Norris and Rita are busy working away in the Kabin with Doreen hovering
nearby. No, she's not making herself at all useful - that was hovering, not
hoovering. As one can imagine, Rita wants her flat back to herself and demands
to know when the council have said that Doreen can return to her own place.
It's apparently going to be at least another month, no matter how hard she's
been trying to persuade them to move things along. Norris is off to the
theatre, so Doreen is making Tuna Lasagne for her and Reet's tea. Ick. Rita
has had enough (well you would, wouldn't you?) and calls the council herself,
purporting to be Doreen. As easily predicted, she confronts Doreen with
the news that the flat was completed a month ago. Doreen throws a temper
tantrum of which even Rosie Webster would be proud.
Steve is preening in front of a mirror, a little handheld one to be sure,
but preening is definitely the right word. Liz claims she's happy for him
and Michelle, but we all know her focus is elsewhere. Michelle has arranged
for Ryan to stay with Liam, but fails to let Steve know until he turns
up with Amy for a "family" outing. Though her face falls, they do continue on to the restaurant. Unfortunately,
little Amy's tummy is a bit wobbly, so Michelle and her incredibly shiny
hair take her and Floppet the rag doll to the toilets where she's sick twice.
It's time to skip pudding and call an end to the romantic dinner. They take
Amy back to Liz who will call in Violet to cover for her whilst Steve and
Michelle hightail it over to the flat, only to discover that Liam had forgotten
that Jamie had invited friends over (exactly who, I wonder, I've only ever
seen him with Sean) and Ryan is not interested in going to the pictures.
Lloyd reminds Steve that he owns the pub and can arrange the shifts, which he promptly does. He and Michelle end up settling for pizza at
the Taxi Office Trattoria listening to Michelle's Kicking Hits of 1991,
none of which we immediately recognised so they couldn't have been that
kicking.
Dev is in a booth in the Rovers chatting to Paul … he wants to buy, buy,
buy but unfortunately, as Paul knows all too well, a villa in Spain is
not exactly the type of property Leanne is selling. He wants to be an IMP
(International Man of Property), though surely that should be a MIP (Man
of International Property or perhaps it should be Muppet in Perpetuity). Liam is a bit suspicious that Leanne
isn't jumping all over Dev to seal a bargain, so she turns on the waterworks
and tells him she's actually been sacked but was too scared to let him know.Liam
offers her some money if she's a bit short but she's not, she's
5'3"! Spotting a future with the Young Mr Connor, well, if Paul doesn't
open his mouth which is not very likely, she quits her job as Rachel the
Lady of the Night.
Liz sneaks out for a sneaky rendezvous with Dopey Derek in their little
love nest. He strides into camera shot resplendent in his boxers and heavy
gold chain (we just knew he was the type to wear bling underneath his work
clothes, didn't we? I'm far more partial to a man with a chest pet, not the
hairless flabby bod left exposed to the elements presented here, but I digress)
and chastises Liz, not so resplendent in Derek's violet shirt, for smoking
and rushes around spraying air freshener. Does anyone else think Derek knows
way too much about the contents of this borrowed flat or is it just me?
Liz apologises as she gabs the final few drags of her cig.
Derek brags about how "the wife" thinks he's at home as she's started
a new evening job at the Red Lion. Liz gets a reality check when Derek states
with authority "but she's much better than that!" It's obvious that what
he's actually saying is "but you're not!" and from the look on her face you
can tell that Vern isn't looking too bad and neither if the truth be told
is Big Jim, so he is – at least Liz can be sure he's not out chasing a bit
of skirt! Derek immediately starts to grovel and is momentarily forgiven.
Liz is applying her makeup with her usual trowel as she tells him that there
is a fine line between looking tarty and glam "And I like to think I'm
teetering on the glam side!" Derek walks away, laughing, as did we at ours.
Claire and Ashley have been spending a lot of time in their conservatory
lately, so it's no wonder that she's pushed to the brink of madness by
the antics in the shed next door. Let's face it, it's not that long since
she's suffered from postpartum depression, so it is a major concern. She
drywashes young Freddy's little locks whilst he sits on the countertop
as she broods over the injustice of it all. I think she'd be better off
starting to make bread from scratch so all her energies can be dissipated
in a more meaningful and productive manner.
She meets Gail on the street, both looking haggard from lack of sleep.
Claire lets loose first on Darryl, then Jerry. She's had it up to here
(yes, here) and threatens to call the council if something isn't done.
Well, something isn't. She's busy ironing away when the music comes blaring
out again. She storms over to the shed, interrupts the party going on with
David Platt and Rosie Webster, rips out the stereo and in an extremely passable
Scouser accent (sounding just like my Cousin Sarah), lets Jerry know she'll
burn down the shed if she's not taken seriously. Ooh, them's fightin' words!
Back in the kitchen, she's washing dishes as she peers out of the window.
Say what you like about Claire, she's very houseproud! Ash wants to know
what she's up to. She turns round and barks "I'm not chewing corn for gummy
parrots!" Maybe it's a local Manchester expression … I've certainly not
heard it before! Ashley is taking Josh on a road trip – I didn't exactly
catch where - so Claire and Eileen decide on a girls' night in. "Shall I
bring a pudding?" enquires Eileen. "Oh, leave your Jason at home, just bring
a bottle of rosé wine!" quips Claire, in a considerably better mood.
This lasts just about as long as Claire spots the gang sitting in the
car with its stereo blasting away. She hauls Kevin out of Jerry's where he's
just gone for a Doner Kebab who then hauls Rosie out of the car before Sally
finds out she's not revising.
Jerry comes over to apologise, bearing gifts. It's lager, not red wine,
so we all know that he has no untoward intentions towards Mrs. Peacock. As
Eileen tucks Freddy into bed and sings him a lullaby, it transmits that Jerry's
there to try to exert pressure on Claire to return the stereo, but she's
having none of it. She wants, nay needs, a decent night's sleep, so she tells
Eileen that she plans on returning it tomorrow. The evening in with Eileen
must have really tired her out as Claire manages about two words of her Maeve
Binchley novel then snuggles down for a good long uninterrupted kip. Which
doesn't last very long as the smoke detector goes off. Claire rushes to Freddy's
room only to be confronted by flames shooting up. She screams, somehow loses
her balance and falls down the stairs, coming to a stop on the landing only
to hit her head with a mighty crack on the wall. The scene fades as the episode
ends … Jodie is serving Kirk a kebab when my notes say that a fit looking
bloke strides in from the taxi office. Much to my surprise, it's actually
Jamie looking pretty darn good with a new haircut. Kirk starts to break
down … he always used to buy for two but his heart has been broken. Jamie
must have been wishing his timing was better as Kirk wants to go back to
his so he's not alone with his thoughts. Roy and Hayley are having a moonlit
stroll down the ginnel when they notice the fire. As Roy dials 999, Hayley
grabs Jamie to "do
something", Gail runs out in her dressing gown and everyone wonders if
the Peacocks are still inside as they aren't answering their shouts. Perhaps
they are in the pub (what, with two small kiddies at home)??? Gail, still
clad in her nightwear runs into the Rovers to check just in case and alerts
the punters still inside. Everyone piles out, including the extras. Jamie and Kirk break into the house
and quickly find Claire collapsed on the landing. They carry her out as
Eileen runs across to let them know that Freddy is still inside but Ash
and Josh are away. Jerry rushes in to try to save the poor tot. Deirdre,
beginning her nervous breakdown, totters aimlessly down the street. As
far as I know, Roy and Hayley are the only two who have taken their British
Red Cross training, but they manage to ignore Claire completely. Roy goes
rushing in to look for Freddy whilst Hayley joins Deirdre in losing it.
The fire truck finally arrives. Roy exits the house empty-handed, coughing his little heart out. Jerry has been turned back by the flames
but doesn't give up trying until the firemen pull him out and make a futile
attempt themselves to get to Freddy's room. "No", came outrage from
the other side of our living room. "You can't let a little babby suffer like
that! ITV will be getting loads of complaints if he's not tucked away in the shed next door!"
Meanwhile, Deirdre shows up at Denise's but says she's not there to cause
trouble. She tells Ken that she was so scared when she saw the fire and
that all she could think about was wanting to be with him. She apologises
for her recent behaviour but just goes that little step too far and keeps
babbling on about her needs and feelings.
In the end, he's not having any of it. He's got it wrong with everyone
else so he needs to get it right with Daniel. The daughter he raised hates people so much that she has actually taken someone's
life and so Daniel is his opportunity for salvation. Deirdre whimpers that
she hasn't got any other children, "You may be able to right your wrongs
with Daniel, but where does that leave me??" Don't get me started …
The mobile rings, it's Blanche breaking the news that the firemen couldn't
reach little Freddy who has perished in the flames. Deirdre's moans prompted
another cry of "Where's Denise? And why hasn't she kicked Deirdre out for
disturbing the peace in a small flat at midnight?" from the other side
of the room. Deirdre rants on about Ken's selfishness and how he is only
concerned with me, me, me. The words kettle, pot and black come to mind.
My mother would have smacked her legs and made her stand in the Naughty
Corner with all that carry-on.
Ken finally gets Deirdre out the door and she returns home to Blanche.
A few minutes later, she goes over and places Amy's teddy bear (well, I'm
assuming it's Amy's and not something Adam left behind when he moved to
Portsmouth with Peter) on the Peacock's doorstep. Now, I have to declare
here that I'm not a big fan of this type of gesture. I'm much more in favour
of something more practical like collecting new clothes for Josh (as one
of Ash's customers did later) or starting a collection for a wheelchair
at the local hospital.
Roy is sitting alone in the dark in the caf, despondent over the fact
that he couldn't get to Freddy in time to save him. Hayley comes in and Roy
asks for a cuddle.
Eileen and Violet must have accompanied Claire in the ambulance as they
arrive at the hospital at the same time. Poor Claire, badly bruised and burned,
has beentaken into Intensive Care with a tube inserted into her lungs to
help her breathe. It's the next morning. Eileen has slept in the chair beside
Claire
all night, having had no luck reaching Ash. Suddenly her mobile rings,
he's just received her messages as he's now got reception. Eileen tells
him that Claire is in hospital but he neither asks nor is told about Freddy
as he prepares to rush back.
Back on the street, Becky is flirting with the firemen, handing one her
number so he can give her a call whenever he fancies a couple of baps. Or
perhaps that should be a barmcake. She's been left in charge as Hayley has
been given the day off to accompany Roy to the hospital, so drops everything
to deliver drinks to the firemen. Janice complains about the lack of customer
service to regular customers but Becky advises that there were two fires
at the hostel, one of which she didn't start so she never saw it coming. If
it weren't for firemen, she'd be barbeque. Janice sniffs at Becky's lack of
sensitivity.
Betty is going to put a pot on the bar to start a collection, as will
Rita in the Kabin. Cilla sees a financial opportunity for some cash when
she spies a reporter and makes a bid to sell Kirk's story to the national
press. There's a suggestion that perhaps he'll need to borrow a couple of
tires from Tyrone to make him look more masculine in his photo first.
Fiz tells Kirk that she's really proud of him. He thinks he's on a promise,
but unfortunately she's only got eyes for teacher John, telling him that
she knows she never really loved Kirk. She was in love before and knows
it wasn't the same. Fiz, bless her little cotton socks, has been one of
the few characters on the street who has never really been willing to settle
for second best - she contemplates life as a Teaching Assistant during the
day and John's lady at night.
Derek brings flowers into the Rovers, joking that he found them outside.
Tyrone overhears and tells him that there's been a tragedy across the street
and that since they probably blew down, he should take them there. Derek
fumbles a bit but Liz agrees with Tyrone as she's not looking for any trouble.
He later complains about how much he spent and Liz rightly corrects him
that he shouldn't be making that type of comment to anyone he's trying
to impress.
Ken's back at Number One. He's come to make amends as they were both
a bit overwrought yesterday. No, corrects Deirdre, we were honest and she
sends him on his way. We next see her crying her eyes out to Liz in the
back room at the Rovers whilst Steve, reminding me considerably of our four
year old niece, tries to spend more time with Michelle. "Mum – have you
got a minute?" Two minutes later "Mum – have you got a minute now?" Five
minutes later "Mum – have you got a minute NOW?" Mum never did find a minute
and I never did figure out why Deirdre is crying when she was the one who
sent Ken on his way.
Claire's reaction is entirely believable and heartbreaking as Eileen
tells her about Freddy. Ash has finally reached the hospital and bumps
into Roy and Hayley who momentarily take Josh whilst poor Eileen breaks
the news about Freddy to him. Emotionally drained, she returns to Roy and
Hayley. Roy has brought a flask of tea and, in a sweet gesture, he's also
packed a container of dairy cream. Oh, bless. Claire screams at Ash to go
back to the house to see Freddy. Josh tells his parents that he's sorry but,
when asked why, he doesn't know. Oh, bless again. Eileen drives Ash
back to the street, though it's the first I was aware she had a car. David
Platt smirks to Darryl that the fire is obviously the latter's pre-emptive
strike against Claire. "You sick git" snarls Darryl in reply. The firemen
won't let Ash into the house. Jerry tells him to come over to his, he can
see what's going on from the back yard. Jerry tells Darryl to make him a
cup of tea and say he's sorry. Why, wonders Darryl. "I didn't do anything."
Eileen is still very wobbly. As Ash looks on at the firemen climbing
into Freddy's window, she's in the kitchen with Jerry who's trying to comfort
her with kind words and choccie biccies. DI Parks leans over the fence to
inform Ash that there was no evidence of a baby in Freddy's room or anywhere
else in the house. Momentarily Ashley considers the possibility that the
stress of recent days has pushed Claire over the edge but puts the thought
away. Back at the hospital, he struggles to find the words to tell Claire.
As DI Parks lets them know this was no accident, an accelerant was used to
start the blaze, he receives a phone call that a little baby has been found
in the park. In an ironic twist, that would be the same park where Claire
abandoned Freddy shortly after his birth. Both Claire and Ash screamed at
DI Parks. Is it a boy? Is it Freddy?? Is he OK??? Why won't you tell us anything????
He manages to get off the phone to answer their questions, confirm it is
a boy and he is being brought to the hospital right now to be checked over.
They can't rest. It must be Freddy. It has to be Freddy. It is Freddy!!!
The entire family settle down on Claire's bed as it slowly dawns on them
in between hugs and kisses that someone has actually played this cruel joke
to them.
That's it from me for now. I can be reached at janet_waterhouse@hotmail.com
if you'd like to send any feedback or hello's. Glenda is back in
the Corrie seat next week.
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