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It's not been a happy week, oh dearie me, no. I've lost count
of the times I've said 'Poor Alma'. It's a desperately sad storyline,
dying of cancer, - one that strikes a chord, somewhere, with millions
of viewers. Audrey's doing her best to be brave, to be strong
for her friend but she's having trouble coping and turns to Doc
Ramsden for advice. Alma refuses radiotherapy after it makes her
feel worse and she wants to enjoy to the full the time she has
left. So while Alma's being brave and Audrey's being strong, Curly
goes and arranges a farewell party in the Rovers. When Alma walks
in, a banner goes up that declares how much they'll all miss her
when she's gone. If only they knew, but they didn't, so it's not
their fault really. She does make an announcement though and tells
them she's not moving to Shropshire, but she keeps to herself
the reason why. It gets harder for Audrey to cope with being the
only one who knows the truth about Alma and when she goes to see
the Doc yet again, Gail fears the worst. She assumes there's something
wrong with her mam and goes to talk to Alma to find out what's
going on. It's with both relief and horror that Gail reacts to
her friend's news, and when Audrey returns home, mother and daughter
hug each other as Gail promises to help Audrey cope with supporting
their dying friend.
A new barmaid starts at the Rovers this week - Shelly. She's
blonde, brassy, busty, wears leopard skin (sound familiar?) and
she's a bosom pal of Duggie's from the rugby club. With her cheeky
smile and face she puts on from a jar while sitting at the table
in the back room of the Rovers (she's not the first to do that
and she'll not be the last), she's a hit with the regulars. Well,
the blokes seem to like her, as you'd expect, but the women, especially
Geena, aren't that keen. And neither am I. She upsets Edna with
quips about her cleaning skills, which might be fair enough. But
then she goes and upsets Betty with comments on her hot-pot and
no-one, but no-one, should get away with that. When she spots
Peter helping himself to the scotch, she gives him a wink and
a nod and tells him to behave himself otherwise she'll tell Duggie.
When Geena complains to Duggie that Shelley's unwilling to pull
her weight behind the bar, preferring instead to smile at the
blokes, Duggie can't see what the fuss is all about. He tells
Geena she could do worse than to stick out her chest and smile
a bit more herself.
Toyah decides to take a year out of college and returns to
work at Roy's rolls. She also makes friends with Sam this week,
which was nice to see, bless him.
Curly and Emily go canvassing around Weatherfield but don't
get a good reception from some of the residents, who basically,
couldn't give a damn about the elections unless it means voting
for cheaper booze and fags. Spindoctor Emily decides Curly needs
an angle they can position the campaign on and he's soon rebranded.
Drawing on his background of working on the bin wagons in the
past, he's placed, targeted and sold to the press as The Man Who
Can Clean Up Weatherfield. Unfortunately, the reporter from The
Gazette puts it more succinctly: "Bin man talks rubbish".
After Maxine sits on Ashley's pork pie in the meat van (sorry,
too much innuendo to deal with here so I'll not even try), she
demands he goes out and buys another car. But even when he does
what he's told, she's still not happy. He comes back with a convertible
sports car, black of course, and she's harping on about no space
for baby, pushchair and pram. Maxine lets rip on Eve this week
after Eve and Fred come round for dinner, calling Eve a gold-digger
who's after Fred's money. Eve stands up for herself and gives
as good as she gets, berating Maxine for requiring perfection
in everything. "I hope you never have children," she
yells at Maxine "They'd never live up your expectations!".
When Blanche has a go at Sally over changing the sign above
the shop: "It's not *D* and S anymore, is it?", Sally
realises she's got to get it changed. Jason does his best and
tries to help out, repainting the sign to read: Sally's Hardware
(I think it's already copyrighted as a porno website, isn't it?).
Anyway, Jason's proving useful around the place, especially in
providing a rather young and muscular shoulder for Sally to cry
on when she realises how much she's missing Danny. In the cafe,
Vera mentions to Kevin that Sally and Jason seem to be getting
on well these days, but Kevin's got other things on his mind,
not least getting his hands on Molly's big end.
Jack and Vera catch Tyrone and Maria at it (you know, it) on
the sofa (what d'ya mean you don't know what I mean? It. You know.
IT). Vera tells them not to feel embarrassed, it's Maria's home
as much as their own now. Unfortunately, Tyrone takes this to
mean that Vera has just invited Maria to move in with them and
before you can say "Jack, stop cutting your toe nails on
the kitchen table, we've got guests", Maria's moved in and
she and Tyrone have full use of the parlour in which they settle
down to domestic fulfillment. And it doesn't take them long. Within
a couple of days they've gone from thinking how fab it is to waking
up each morning with each other to having their first row, Maria
tied to the drudgery of doing the ironing and their first unwanted
guest - that bloke Kirk who was in The Royle family - just as
Tyrone comes home from work for a quickie.
There's a completely pointless story about Vik, Steve, Karen
and Bobbi brewing at the minute. Bobbi and Karen are the least
likeable and most boring of all the street women but if you want
to know, I guess I'd better write something. Karen's cheesed off
as all Steve does is offer her chips while Vikram takes Bobbi
out for dinner. Bobbi reckons she's got Vik wrapped around her
little finger and it's all to do with advice she's taking from
a book she's reading. I tried that once but didn't get very far.
Perhaps I shouldn't have based my approach on the 1978 Be-Ro Cookery
Book. I never got a bloke but I can make a fluted flan.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
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