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Corrie weekly updates from 1995, 17 years in 17 e-books
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Blanche does her best to get Deirdre and Ken back together but it backfires
badly. Deirdre goes to the B&B to see Ken but the all-seeing, ever-knowing
landlady reveals he didn’t sleep there last night. Deirdre knows just where
he’s been and she’s right, he did stay over at Denise’s flat but he slept
on the sofa whereas Deirdre’s imagination plonks him firmly in bed with
his ex. Denise, bless her – and isn’t it great to have her back? -
encourages Ken to wake up on her sofa but to make up with his missus but
he’s as stubborn as Deirdre and the two won’t see eye to eye. When Denise
and Ken walk into the Rovers to talk some sense into Deirdre, the insults
fly as they all let rip. Denise parries forth to Deirdre with “you scrawny
faced fishwife”. Deirdre stings back with “you slapper!” accompanied by a
clip round the chops for the ex-Corrie crimper as Ken finishes off with a
shot of “deranged harpie” to Deirdre. Blanche tuts and rolls her eyes.
Ken pops back to the house to pick up more of his things – some books, his
computer, Razzle mag, and when Deirdre finds out he’s been and gone while
she’s out at work she bursts into tears in the butcher shop. Well, it was
the way Ashley offered her a pound of liver. It’d have had anyone in tears.
While Deirdre was in tears, poor Emily gets “stressed to the max” (yes,
she really said this) so she retreats to the hair salon for a herbivorex temple
massage.
Claire’s still having problems with the shed at the bottom of the garden
next door. The council confirm it’s too big to stay there without planning
permission, news which makes Jerry Morton think on. Claire’s sure she’s
seen something moving in the bushes but it could have been Darryl having
a wee round the back of the shed. When Jerry Morton says he will but doesn’t
do anything about the noise and shed sanitary arrangements, Claire declares
war on her neighbours.
Violet enjoys a deep and meaningful relationship with her mobile phone
as she sends consensual texts to new bloke Gary. She asks Michelle how she
should sign off her text to her new beau. “One kiss or two?” “None”
says Michelle.
Ah, Michelle. Well, she and Steve finally, finally got together this
week and there’s kisses galore in the back room of the pub and several snogs
on the sofa. Steve had lost a golfing bet of a thousand pounds to Michelle’s
brother Paul but Michelle can’t let Steve pay up the cash when she knows
Paul’s stitched him up good and proper. Steve thought Paul was a golfing
geek but it turns out he’s five times golf club champion and when Michelle
points this out, Steve burns the cheque he would have given to Paul and gets
to grips with his sister instead. Liz is far from happy that her son has
a new woman in his life and warns it’ll not be too long before Michelle has
him up on an Industrial Tribunal for pawing the barmaids and interfering with
staff relations. Steve doesn’t care, he’s happy.
Poor Kirkeh, he’s only gone and had the wrong dog, you know, done, at
the vets. The prize winning pedigree dog’s owner is threatening to sue
if Kirk doesn’t pay up twenty grand. He’s at his wits end and doesn’t know
what to do and things look set to get worse as Fiz is much taken with her
ex-flame Mr Stape. Maria notices a far-away look in Fiz’s eyes that suggest
she’s looking more for kicks than for Kirkeh. Fiz has lunch with Mr Stape
and she goes in for a kiss but he pulls away, unsure what’s going on as he
knows she’s got a boyfriend. He offers her his phone number but each time
Fiz tries to call him, Kirk is there waiting to propose, bunch of flowers
in one hand, diamond ring inside an iced bun in t’other. He’s down on one
knee, offering her marriage and ginger kids and she turns him down flat.
What is it with these two? That’s the second time he’s proposed, the second
time she’s turned him down and the second time the pair of them have had
me in tears.
Les has disappeared from Corrie for a while as ITV decide on the fate
of actor Bruce Jones. To explain his absence from the action, he’s apparently
gone to work as a roadie for Irish tribute band ‘ZZ Top o’ the Morning’.
My favourite tribute band is Jam Session, what’s yours?
And that’s just about that for this week.
Glenda Young
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