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Fred decides to find love on th'internet and search for a Thai bride.
He looks for a suitable photo to post on the website and realising it's best
to be honest, he discards the old picture of the handsome, dark haired stunner
he used to be (honestly) and gives his mate Dennis a recent picture of the
fat, jowled butcher he's become. Dennis says he'll post the photo
to the website with Fred's personality profile: "Generous, wealthy, kind."
and list of interests: "Pursuit of the perfect sausage". Dennis assures
Fred that the love of a Thai lady is very close at hand. Unfortunately for
Fred, it's closer than he thinks. Dennis takes the photo to am exotic looking
lippy market trader and the two of them have a giggle over yet another punter
they're going to rip the wallet away from and the heart out of. Meanwhile,
Fred takes to jogging, salads and mineral water in an attempt to shape up
his broad band.
Rita and Les have a chat about Chesney and Les starts to realise he could
do worse than look after the kid. In a wonderful scene, Les gets a call
from Steve at Streetcabs who tells him there's a young man wanting a ride
to that London. When Les gets to the cab office he finds Chesney there
with some coins in his hand and the ever-growing-huge-puppy Schmeichel
on his lap, wondering if he's got enough money to get them both to the smoke.
Les puts Chesney in the cab and drives him to his house. "But this
isn't London!" says Chesney. "No, but it's your home." says Les. Realising
he's on to a good thing, Chesney wastes no time in dobbing off school,
buying lollies for Schmeichel and playing Les, Fiz and Kirk off against
each other by getting dinner money and pocket money from as many of them
as possible as often as he can. With Cilla out of the way,
Les turns his attentions to Janice and the two of them celebrate their decree
absolute with drinks and some chips. Although Les hopefully wore his snakeskin
pulling jacket on their 'date', Janice is keeping him at arm's length, for
now.
Mike gets Underworld up and running again after paying Charlie the builder
cash in hand to get the work finished ahead of schedule. The girls
are back at work but Mike fails to secure an order he was banking on when
exaggerated, wrong rumours of his bankruptcy spread around the rag trade.
Harry gets the girls to sign their names in a card so he can trace any graffiti
in the freshly painted ladies toilet back to the perpetrator. Janice's
handwriting looks suspiciously familiar to Harry: "So it was you who wrote
the limerick about the Bishop of Wick!"
It's Maria's 21st birthday and there's a party in the flat. Candice hovers
by the door waiting for her Tim to turn up, which he eventually does, to
an earful from Audrey about the way he's treating young Candice. There's
karaoke in the corner and the Duckies duet after Vera tracks Jack at the
party when he should have been home for tea. Nick takes Maria outside
and gives her an engagement ring as a birthday present, which was nice.
And finally this week, is it on or is it off? Is he in or is he out?
And do we really care any more? Katy susses out that Karl and Todd are
an item so Karl tells Todd it's all off. Then Todd and Karl end up in bed
together in the flat just as Sarah starts to walk up the stairs.
Then it all turned a bit Brian Rix, with a semi-naked man and lots of doors.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
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