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This week's update written by Janet Penny as Glenda was away.
The highlight for me this week was the Great Sausage Trail, the Elliott/Peacock dynasty's solution to increase trade (though in point of fact it was Boris - quickly becoming one of our favourites - who came up with the idea). Not one to let the grass grow under his feet, Fred is off to induce other Master Butchers to join in the competition which I rather think he envisages as a sort of May Fair for Meat. Once that's all set, he is outraged, I say, highly offended that Ashley and Boris are planning on entering their own recipe against his.
Duggie is getting fed up with having all the responsibility for the Rovers, what with Fred banging on about bangers and Mike otherwise involved in either Linda's clutches or fighting for Adam. Both have missed meetings he has called to straighten things out and it can only be a matter of time before he throws in the towel or bangs their heads together.
Ryan and brother Jimmy bound into Underworld, asking big sister Linda to subsidise the former whilst he searches for a job in London. Conveniently, Mike is out of the office, so Linda takes the opportunity to employ Ryan for general dogsbody duties, convincing her sceptical hubbie with her womanly charms. Ryan naturally uses the convenient location to spy on Emma, left on her tod while Curly is away on a course. He (Ryan) chooses his moment, when both the bus stop and the street are clear, and wham a brick goes through the front window.
Well, I for one would certainly welcome more Emma's into our local police force. What a girl! She calmly gets Danny to put in a new window, refuses to call Curly on the grounds that it would worry him, and has a few drinks (bottles) with Charlie, who insists on spending the night.
After being thwarted a couple of times, a deranged Ryan breaks in through the back, finds the bottle of vodka that Charlie somehow missed and proceeds to use a tire iron on the furniture to give the place that Battersby lived-in look. Then the phone rings. Emma comes downstairs from where she'd been taking a shower, and it would be hard to say whose eyes bugged out more. After a screaming bout worthy of winning Ryan second runner-up in the Corrie Bulging Neck Muscle Contest, Emma tells her stalker that she hadn't want to shoot Dean, but he left her no other option. She begs Ryan not to make the same mistake.
Just as the drink starts to affect him and his eyes flicker, Emma makes her move. However, Ryan is not as blotto as he appeared and somehow manages to break out of her wrestling hold. Emma jumps on his back and though Ryan twirls as daintily as bucking bronco, she maintains control. Throughout the exchange, Charlie has been ringing the doorbell (probably realised she hadn't touched the vodka). Getting no answer, she goes round to the back (as you do) and breaks in on the confrontation. Emma tells Ryan she won't turn him in, and he skedaddles. Charlie believes Emma is right off her rocker, as again she won't call Curly since this is exactly the type of situation she's been trained to deal with.
The next day, Linda notices Ryan react to a couple of officers arriving at the Watts residence and susses that something is up. She corners her little brother in the alley, actually shoving him up against a wall and worms the truth out of him. Though Emma has not revealed the attack to the police (though it's never actually explained why they were there - dropping her off work, maybe?), Linda comes over to give her apologies and her word that Ryan will never bother Emma again. All is forgiven, but surely not forgotten.
Of course, the main feature of the week has been the custody battle for Adam. Neither Mike nor Ken seem to realise that it's not actually a contest for a coveted prize, but the future of a young lad which is at stake. Dev convinces Mrs. Rachid to lend her support to Ken at the custody hearing. Another interested party is Adam. Behind Blanche's back, he swipes a fiver out of her purse and takes a taxi to the court, despite being told he couldn't.
After a lot of bad-mouthing and some low blows over each other's relationship with Susan inside the court room, things reach boiling point in the foyer. Mike had just finished screaming at Ken when the latter shrieked that the only reason he wanted Adam was as Mark's replacement for Linda! Cue Adam. Poor little tyke tells the social worker he has made up his mind who reveals in court that Adam has declared a preference to live with his dad. A later scene has Linda quite rightly demanding why on earth Maak would have ever told Ken the story of her affair with Maaak.
Deirdre feels sorry for Ken and stays the night on the couch (you'd think if he was trying to get her back, the least he would do is offer her his bed). Blanche comes down in the middle of the night for a cup of tea and screeches at the sight of her. No wonder. It's bad enough that Deirdre hasn't seen fit to change her outfit in four episodes, but this was just too, too much. We were aghast to see her still in that same red top bra-less. Oh, yuck! We all know she hasn't got much up top, but what little there was hung halfway to her waist. Even Dolly Parton doesn't sag that much. Note to the writers: Please no more crying scenes, foundation-less moments or love settings involving Deirdre - it's just too, too cruel to the viewers.
Right now that the shivers have left and I have maintained discipline over my stomach's contents, we can continue. Alma encourages Ken to cook Drear a lovely romantic dinner so that he can persuade her that she wasn't taken for granted. Then, egged on by a very frustrated Geena (wouldn't you be if the first person you saw in the morning was Deirdre?), Dev persuades Deirdre to smooth things out with Ken, even going do far as to donate an expensive bottle of red wine to the cause.
All is going well, Ken seems sincere in his apologies and sweet-talks Deirdre in returning to Number 1. She relents and they are momentarily truly happy. Until Ken happily chirps that now she can join in on the appeal to return Adam to the bosom (oh, no - the flashbacks!) of the Barlowe household!
Deirdre flings down her napkin. She obviously can't go home to mother, so stomps out to the next best choice - Dev! I can hardly wait to see Geena's face!
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