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Corrie weekly updates from 1995, 17 years in 17 e-books
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It’s the Licensed Victuallers Association summer lunch and Liz and Vernon
are in their best bib and tucker. Well, Vernon was in a red frilly shirt
and Liz was in a camouflage frock and fishnet tights. I always thought
fishnet tights were for catching crabs, but what do I know? And who’d
have thought a camouflage dress could have been so, er, noticeable?
At the luncheon, Derek’s there with his wife Linda who tells Liz a few
home truths about her errant husband Derek and his eye for the ladies.
And when Linda turns up at the Rovers the next day in tears, she tells Liz
she reckons Derek’s playing away and not for the first time. Liz tells
Derek she can’t have his wife coming round there in bits to cry on her shoulder
pads and tells him she wants to cool things.
Now then, this next bit doesn’t half go on. Miss Leanne and Lady Botox
sign the contract on their restaurant deal, crack open the bubbly and
drink to independence. Ten minutes later, Carla’s calling Leanne “a dirty
little tart” after Carla’s propositioned in a bar by a fella assuming
she’s on the game like her mate Rachel who’s really Leanne. Keep up, come
on. Carla, proving herself something of a smart cookie, takes the bloke’s
card and sets him up with Leanne so that she’s forced to tell Carla the truth
about her profession. I mean, what’s the big deal? Crikey, a girl’s got
to earn a living, leave her alone and get it legalised. Anyway, Carla also
realises that Leanne’s job is the reason Paul dislikes her so much. After
a quick rifle through the pockets of her hubby’s trews, she finds a receipt
for ‘Secretarial Services’ to the tune of £350 and knows it’s a bill
for Paul spending time with Leanne. She’s not daft, that Carla, she knows,
you know. She confronts Paul and then, well, hang in with me here as it
gets a bit complicated. She confronts Paul and he swears he’ll give up his
habit, and knock his escort agency visits on the head but after three years
addiction, it could take some doing. Carla retires to the back room of the
pub to get vair, vair drunk with sister-in-law Michelle. “You don’t like
me do you?” she asks Michelle about twenty times in the way that drunk people
do. Michelle’s too polite to say “no”. Steve calls Carla ‘Cruella DeVorce’
which made me chuckle tonight. Anyway, as Carla gets drunk, Paul rings the
agency and asks for Rachel, who’s Leanne. Leanne turns up and Paul rails
at her then bundles her into the boot of his car. Don’t ask, it probably
isn’t possible but he did it anyway. He drives off in his car in a temper
and Leanne calls Janice on the mobile. “Hello? Yeah! I’m in the boot of
the car!”. Liam also gets a call from Paul asking him to meet at the flat.
As Paul and Leanne speed to the flat, Liam and Janice follow behind, a bit
confused. The next time Paul’s phone ring he has to bend over to the passenger
side of the car as he’s driving to answer the call from Liam. He runs a red
light and crashes into a truck. He’s a goner, well, he will be next week
and Leanne will be fine. At th’ospital, the Connor clan are all gathered
and the nurse tells them to prepare for the worst. Just when they think
it can’t possibly get any worse, and they’re wondering what Paul was doing
with Leanne in the boot of his car, Carla breaks the news to Liam that his
girlfriend’s a prostitute and Paul was her client. Oh ‘eck.
Violet gets chatted up in the pub by some bloke called Tam and she’s
quite taken with him. Back at Tam’s place after a date she comes on strong
and says she wants to see his waterbed but then runs out of his house.
Maybe she was feeling seasick? She rings Jamie on her mobile and he collects
her in a taxi. “He didn’t get weird with me, didn’t want to tie me up in
the cellar and throw blancmange at me” she tells Sean, a trifle upset. But
she does tell Sean that she was only seeing Tam in order to get pregnant
as she wants a baby so much. Her biological clock is ticking and it’s half
past two precisely.
“Josh! What have I told you about wearing Jason’s shoes?” yells Claire
up the stairs in Eileen’s house after she hears her son fall and crash.
The Peacocks leave the Street for some sanity, peace and quiet and head
to the Isle of Man. Yeah, right, and the TT races are on there at the minute
so there’ll be motorbikes screaming round the streets as we speak, or read.
Well, you’re reading, I’m typing, but you know what I mean. While they’re
away, Bill and Jason get cracking on the house and start the repairs.
Steve, Liam and Vernon get very drunk in the pub and it’s revealed
that Liam’s middle name is Barrington. Liam Barrington Connor. The talk,
as it often does with men who’ve had too much to drink, turns to women
they have known and loved and the things they can and can’t say without
getting them upset. Steve admits to: “I once told Karen to stop eating
wine gums and just inject them into her backside, cut out the middle man.
I suffered for that”. Ooh, I bet he did.
Denise tells Ken that he might be between families but his commitment
is to neither. He takes this to heart and pops round to see grand-daughter
Amy in the back room of the pub. Betty calls Deirdre to let her know that
Ken’s there but as Deirdre walks in, Ken leaves even though Betty leaves
them together with “Now, play nicely”. “Are you doing anything tonight?”
Ken asks Deirdre and just when she gets her hopes up that he means a drink
for the two of them and declares herself free, he says “Could you look
after Amy as I want to see Daniel?” and off her went, leaving Deirdre alone
again.
Sarah wants Jason to move into the Platt house full time. He’s living
there at the minute while Claire and Ashley are at Eileen’s for a while.
That’s before they went to the Isle of Man, of course, a few paragraphs
ago. David overhears his sister planning the move and tells Gail in advance
so that by the time Sarah asks Gail if Jase can move in, Gail’s already got
her defence ready and says a firm no. Gail asks David about his school exams
but David reckons he needs to check his timetable. “Don’t you know when
they are?” asks an incredulous Gail. “I like to keep them as a surprise” he
says, when really, he couldn’t care less.
And finally this week, Kirk tries his hand at job hunting but nobody
wants him and Fiz and Mr Stape aka John the strange bloke in specs, get
snuggly on the sofa.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Glenda Young
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