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Betty warns Shelley that: "a pretty face and good pub don't attract the
right sort of fella" when she finds Charlie in the back room of the Rovers
with a drink in his hand and a smile on his face. Fred's not best pleased
either: "It's a rum do when I find the likes of Charlie Stubbs lodging in
me parlour," he moans then jaunts off to Brighton on a jolly with the brewery.
Before he leaves he tells Shelley she needs to find another barmaid to replace
Bev and she installs Leanne behind the pumps but she's booted out when Fred
returns with a barmaid on his arm. Yes, it's Liz McDonald back on
the street wearing a jumper that screamed Dirty Slapper. She's back
behind the bar, bitching with daughter-in-law Karen and also with Shelley
who she's not only working for but also living with when Fred installs her
in the Rovers in Bev's old room. Oh dearie me! (And that reminds
me I saw Shona McSpurtle last weekend in my local branch of Woolworth's).
Dev breaks down in tears and tells Sunita he has to have more tests as
the doc thinks he may have cancer of the bowel. Sunita's surprised
he hasn't told Maya and tells him he must let her know. When Maya finally
finds out that he told Sunita first she does a runner and leaves him but
crawls back to fling her arms around Dev, as he listens to the wonderful
new Morrissey album, and hisses through her teeth at Sunita.
Roy and Tracy are now divorced, married no more, with a decree that proves
it absolutely. The Croppers celebrate in the café with Frankie
Vaughan and a candle-lit dinner.
Norris arranges a séance in the back room of the Kabin, determined
to get to the bottom of the ghostly goings on. Around the table with
Norris are Rita, Blanche and Betty. "Knock once to signify your presence"
he says and in reply another box falls off a shelf above his head.
Blanche falls about laughing and thanks Rita for setting Norris up but the
ladies all shiver when Rita says she had nowt to do with it. Anyway,
it turns out there isn't a ghost - it's rising damp in the Kabin that's
causing all the problems and Rita gets Charlie in to sort out the mess.
Vera buys Jack an exercise bike and orange lycra shorts to get him back
into shape and lose weight. As an incentive, she puts a map on the wall and
encourages Jack to cycle 200 miles to Cleethorpes. Every time Jack makes
progress, a picture of a man on a bike moves across the map on the living
room wall. Thinking he should nearly be there by now, Jack's upset
to discover he's only done 20 miles so asks Tyrone to clock the mileage on
the bike for him. Tyrone says no way, it's a digital odometer or whatever
they use to track mileage on bikes, so Jack pays the lad a fiver to cycle
for him instead.
Sally hands out badges in the garage: "I'm Kevin, I'll be your mechanic
today, how may I help you? Do you want extra fries with your big end tune
up?" and the lads aren't best pleased. That is, until Tyrone's awarded
employee of the month in Sally's new incentive scheme, given a hat with a
star on it and a fifty quid bonus which he takes to the pub to buy beer.
Kev tries to stop Sally from interfering but when she tells him turnover
has increased by 20% since she started running the place, he allows himself
a smile.
Dressed up as a belly dancer in full make up, Les gets down on one knee
in the factory and asks Janice to take him back. Not surprisingly she
says no, but after encouragement from the girls singing that song from that
film where the blokey comes in and sweeps the wifey off her feet from the
factory floor, Janice chases after Les and says she'll have him back even
though he's no officer and certainly no gentleman. Back at Les' house
as he and Janice start to plan their future together, Cilla returns to make
things exceedingly unpleasant.
And finally this week Audrey gets a letter from the council to say a monument
to Alfeh will be built in the quadrangle behind the investiture room. "What's
an investiture room?" asks Candice, "What's a quadrangle?" asks
Shelley, as the pensioners in the Rovers moan about their council tax increase.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
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