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Sunday 17 June 2012

Coronation Street Weekly Update - June 15 1999

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After receiving a telephone bill loaded with calls to Canada and not receiving any rent from Leanne, Ashley puts his foot down good and proper with Leanne, who puts her feet down, one in front of t'other and walks right out of his house, across the road and moves back in with the Battersby clan. Leanne's being a bit irresponsible lately, asking Natalie for a £50 sub on her wages which she gambles away at the casino with Vikram. Fred is pleased Leanne has moved out but Ashley feels he's lost a good friend. In the Rovers, Leanne bitches about Ashley behind his back but Maxine and Fred defend him and Leanne gets a telling off from Natalie No-Sleeves.

Gary's out cleaning windows when he spies a burgler going through a woman's drawers in the bedroom of a house he's cleaning. Quick as you like, he's jumped through the window and chased the burgler outside, just as the woman who lives there arrives back home. She sees Gary, assumes he's a burgler and screams the place down. And I mean -screams- the place down. Gary sits and waits in the house, rings Judy and eats his sandwiches, and sure enough, the police arrive to hear Gary's story. Finally they believe him and before you know it, there's a reporter round to see Gary who puts a photo of the hero of the hour on the front page, being kissed by the lady of the house, Mrs. Hardy. When Mrs. Hardy's husband sees the picture he goes round to the Malletts, thumps Gary and tells him to stay away from his missus. How sweet.

Now then, over at the factory there's intrigue and mystery. Well, no there's not really. There's a sad old git and a randy factory girl who's no better than she ought to be. Linda finds out where Mike's flat is and calls round to see him with a bottle of whisky, saying the girls have bought it for him to cheer him up over the business with Alma. The two of them have a couple of drinks and then Linda leaves, after telling Mike the girls didn't buy the whisky at all, she bought it for him. The next night, Mike sits at home in his dressing gown, waiting for Linda to call again but is disappointed when his only caller is a pizza delivery man at the wrong address. Fred offers to take Mike out the next evening but when Linda turns up at the flat, Mike rings Fred to cancel the arrangement and instead, has a night in. Linda promises Mike she'll be discrete, "discretion's my middle name" she says. (No it's not... it's 'slapper', surely?). Over at the Rovers, Mike tells Alma there's still a chance for their marriage but when she says she doesn't feel she could trust him again, he calls her 'pathetic' and storms off. Alma and Curly enjoy a drink together in the Rovers and he invites her for dinner at his house, where there is the most heart wrenching scene at Curly's dinner table. Talking about trust and the ingredients needed for a happy marriage, Alma gave such an incredible speech, I was in tears. Me mam was in tears. The dog was in tears. Even me dad sniffled a bit, wiped his eyes and said "It's crap, this, innit?".
The lovely Spider has been on hand this week to offer support to Toyah in coping with her exams at school. She confided in him about Welsh Owen, and he advised her to forget him.

Meanwhile, in the Rovers, Steve McDonald spies the lovely Spider buying what he assumes is dope from a guy in the pub. When Spider tells him it's tobacco brought from abroad which he buys for ethical reasons (like not giving the Government any tax), Steve thinks he could be on to a winner on a 'baccy run from Europe too. He asks Jim to loan him the money and at first Jim isn't so sure, after all, it is illegal, but in the end he offers to help out. Steve's hoping he'll make enough money to cover the tax bill he's received after fiddling his tax returns.

Sally gets a call on her mobile phone from the headmistress at Rosie's school to say she needs to speak to Sally asap. Now, before I go any further, I just want to rant, thanks. I hate mobile phones. I mean, you're out with someone, having lunch, looking round the shops, having a drink, whatever and off goes their bloody phone. Am I the only person left in the world, the universe, who refuses to have one of these pits of hell instruments? Anyway, she goes to the school only to be told that Rosie has turned into an evil Devil child (spookily enough, Kevin now sports an evil Devil beard..mmm. curious!!). Rosie is bullying other kids and her pictures and stories are revealing she's not coping at all well with the trauma of the recent seige. Sally tells Kevin, who blames it all on Sally for not giving Rosie enough love and attention. Bloody men. I almost hate Kevin Webster as much as I hate Sally's mobile phone. Almost.

Anyway, that's about it for this week.


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