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It all kicked off at Streetcars this week. Kelly moved back in with Lloyd and they’re playing happy families and making up nicely until the cop cars arrive at the taxi cab office. The rozzers have identified Ronnie’s cab at the scene of the hit and run on the night when Steve was sub-duvet with Kelly. However, as Ronnie had asked Steve to take the rap for her speeding ticket, the cops think that Steve was driving the cab at the time and take him in for questioning. There’s a bit of forensic evidence on the cab that links it directly with the mowing down and killing of the old codger on the cobbles. Steve’s banged up in the cells overnight and grilled like a cheese toastie until he tells the cops he has an alibi and she’s got two very long legs and a tiny little skirt. When the cops question Kelly she doesn’t cooperate at first, knowing it’ll be the end for her and Lloyd when the truth comes out. But she can’t stand by and see an innocent bloke face 14 years in the slammer so she sings like a bird but it’s a tune that Lloyd doesn’t want to hear. As Steve gets released, Ronnie gets arrested and the cops take her and her heaving bosom down to the cells. I don’t know what it was about the bosoms on Corrie this week but there was a huge cleavage count, and I don’t normally notice this sort of thing myself, because I am, after all, a lay-dee myself you know. We had Ronnie and Kelly wobbling out of their tops and Liz “pimp my clothes” McDonald outdoing even her slag-Barbie clothing in something indecently cheap and tacky off the market.
As Dev tries to make sense of what’s hit him in the shape of his young daughter, Amber, she’s wasting no time in making the most of mining Dev’s thin seam of fatherhood experience. When a bottle of vodka goes missing in the shop, Amber tells Dev she broke it but I don’t think it’ll be too long before Miss Alahan starts selling her special brew of alcopops to the kiddies of the parish. She makes mates with David which puts a hormonal sheen on his angst-ridden life and the two of them compare fathers, agreeing that Dev’s a div and Martin’s a moron.
Keith goes to the Citizens Advice Bureau to see if there’s anything he can do to stop Charlie evicting him. There isn’t. Charlie breezes in to the house with a surveyor and Tracy in tow. Tracy’s eyeing up the soft furnishings and dreaming of a new home, better than the Barlows, for her and Charlie to play mums and dads but Charlie has something else entirely on his mind. It wouldn’t surprise me if he rented it out to hippies and students just to spite Tracy. Not that I’ve got anything against hippies and students. I used to be one of them once and I live with one of t’other.
Brian plays emotional hide-and-seek with Sean’s feelings this week. Sean waits in the Rovers but will Brian turn up? Peek-a-boo, there he is. He waits in the pizza place in the precinct, the one with the red checky tablecloths and Gypsy Kings on rotation. It’s like now you see him, now you don’t as Brian does a no-show and Sean’s in bits. Sean goes to Brian’s house and his missus tells Sean his dad’s not home but Jamie spies him peeping out of an upstairs window. What the devil is he playing at? When the two of them are together long enough, Sean tells his dad that he’s gay but Brian says he’s known that since Sean was a kid: “When I saw you dancing around the living room to My Fair Lady, I thought it was unlikely that you’d end up knocking one in the back of the net for the Toon Army”. Although Mary Poppins knocked in quite a few.
Shelley goes on her date with the fella from the Rovers. “You and me, we’re going to suck the marrow out of life” she trilled. That was before they got to the pizza place and he entertained Shelley with his knowledge of bus routes, preferring the 78 over the 92 for reasons best known to himself. “Have you got a favourite bus, Shelley?” he asked her, which seemed a perfectly reasonable question to me (my answer: the 73 in central London) but it seemed to upset Shelley no end. When a text message comes through from Bev asking “ow r u?”, Shelley uses it as an excuse to rush home, telling bus bore bloke her mum was ill and needed her.
And a cash-strapped Diggory starts selling off his stale bread products to make ends meet. He’s so short of dough (the money kind) that he’s reduced to re-selling floury baps to Sally that he should have rightly chucked in the bin. Hayley’s distraught that her favourite ‘lumpy-bumpy’ cake wasn’t available as Diggory can’t even afford to keep his shelves stocked. Hayley, we share your pain.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Glenda
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