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There are some things that should always come in a pair, like socks
and Barlows. Yes, this was the week when Ken and Deirdre got back together
after Denise scared Ken out of her flat when she moved in for a kiss on
the soft furnishings. Ken heads home with flowers knowing full well that
carnations wrapped in cellophane from the garage aren’t what’s needed this
time. These flowers are huge, proper, in a bouquet with a ribbon. But when
he gets back home, Deirdre’s nowhere to be seen as she’s on the razzle
with the girls. It was going to be a quiet night with Eileen but Blanche
tags along and then they bump into Doreen and Rita in the pizza place so
they all bunch up together and get sozzled on red wine. As the wine flows,
Doreen reveals that she’s registered disabled as she’s partially sighted
in her right eye, a long story involving a lychee and chopsticks. When Deirdre
gets home to find Ken waiting for her, there’s a hug and some tears before
he whisks her upstairs for a bit of a cuddle. Blanche has the decency to
leave the house, goes outside and looks to the sky to whisper ‘thank you’.
Was she talking to God or the upstairs window cleaner? It was hard to know.
Ken and Deirdre head for a liquid lunch at the Rovers and sit and hold hands
and snog in the snug. It was so romantic, really it was.
Paul Connor dies in his hospital bed with tubes sticking in and out
the other end. There’s weeping and wailing amongst the ladies of the streak-free
mascara Connor clan and Leanne gets well and truly snubbed by them all.
She tries to explain to Liam that she never slept with Paul but Liam throws
her out on the Street. Just as he’s closing the door on her and screaming
that she’s a dirty little hooker, leggy Kelly walks by and catches it all
and then throws it all over the factory floor. Gossip hits the street about
Leanne’s line of work and Janice defends her step-daughter by wrestling
Kelly on the cobbles. Atta girl, go Janice! go Janice! Steve and Lloyd look
on, laying bets on who’ll win. Lloyd reckons it’ll be Kelly and speaks from
experience about her mean right hook. Steve drives the Connor clan to the
airport as they leave for the funeral in Oireland.
Amber’s revising for her exams in Dev’s shop and he’s proud of her studious
attitude to schoolwork. Thinking he’s helping her with her French exam,
he throws in a bit of bonjour and a splash of c’est la vie. Amber answers
back that her dad has the social skills of a Jack Russell but as she’s speaking
in French, Dev just nods and agrees, without a clue as to what she’s just
said. David tells Gail he’s not doing any exams “cos I can’t be bovvered”.
Gail threatens him that he’ll do those exams, my boy, oh yes he will. And
he does, in fact he sails through his GCSE but then sets the exam paper
on fire before walking out. I’ve got two words for Gail Platt: child psychologist,
dear. Oh, that’s three.
At Bethany’s 7th birthday party the adults are all drinking grown-up
pop. Bethany’s in her element wearing her new, pink (do they come in any
other colour?) Barbie outfit with make-up on too. Oh yuck. David’s headmaster
turns up at the door to tell Gail what David’s just done and gets her to
make him sign a behaviour agreement. “It’s ASBO-lite” says Sarah, but David
refuses to sign on the grounds that it infringes his human rights.
Gail tells Jason and Sarah that Jase can move into the house to live with
Sarah on one condition, that he looks out for David. She reckons David needs
a good male role model and Jason could be it. What a dilemma for poor Jason
when Gail forces him to make a decision and, er, think.
Eileen starts flirting over the Streetcars switchboard with a new bloke
called Pat. We haven’t seen him yet but he’s played by comedian Sean Hughes
so he’ll be Irish, so he will. He’ll also be married but Eileen won’t find
that out until her heart’s been broken and she’s taken to binge eating
chocolate HobNobs as a coping mechanism. Could Jerry Morton make our favourite
taxi controller happy again? Well, the two of them have been getting cosy
this week as they worked together at the Peacock’s place to get it ready
for Claire and Ashley who returned from their jollies on the Isle of Man.
Kirk’s working at the butcher shop and still thinks he’s in with a chance
with Fiz, but he’s not. Fiz can’t quite bring herself to break the bad news
to Kirk that her relationship with John is growing stronger and so when
Chesney finds his sister snogging John on the cobbles, she asks him not
to tell Kirk as she wants to break his heart herself. Poor Kirkeh.
And Melanie Morton has been filling in her application form for a job
as a lady policeman. She’s fretting about the dodgy past of her granddad
as any criminal activity in the family could be hunted down and her chances
of joining the force will be shot.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Glenda Young
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