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Corrie weekly updates from 1995
17 years in 17 e-books
All the wit and warmth of Weatherfield, none of the waffle
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Violet checks her ovulation cycle. I wonder if it’s got ten gears and a
basket on the front? No, hang on, let me get my notes right. Ah yes, Violet
tells Sean she’s got a window of opportunity in her ovulation cycle and
he should jump on her and do the business if she’s to get pregnant. Come
on, Sean, jump, she urges him, jump. Sean’s a gay man so this doesn’t really
fill him with glee but jump he does until he feels he can jump no more. But
is Violet with child? Has all his effort paid off? Sean buys her a pregnancy
kit and tells her to keep the weight off her feet behind the bar at the
pub, just in case she’s going to be the mammy of the baby to which he’ll
be daddy.
Molly and Tyrone start house hunting but their plans are put on hold
after Jack does his back in when he tries to move his pigeon loft with
Jamie. So, there’s Jack lying on the sofa in agony under doctor’s orders
not to move and there’s Vera with her bad foot, the two of them stuck indoors
together getting on each other’s nerves. Jack tells Tyrone he needs to
escape, even if it’s just to the pub for a swift pint so Tyrone fashions
a wobbly wheelchair by putting castors on the legs of an old kitchen chair
of Vera’s. Meanwhile, Molly’s not best pleased that they’re tied to
the Duckworths and can’t leave them yet for a place of their own.
After Jamie’s revelation about Pat being wed, Steve and Lloyd go on
a stake-out in Pat’s street to see if he’s really the cheating sort of bloke.
The pair of them sit in their cab for hours acting like a super-annuated
version of Abbot & Costello, watching and waiting, smoking and smirking
until they’re given a prod by the local busybody from the Neighbourhood
Watch scheme. But they do find out the truth about Pat and it’s left
to Steve to give the bad news to Eileen. But is she bovvered? Eileen? Face?
Bovvered? Well no, not really. She admits she’d kind of guessed anyway
and she’s not going to let the fact that he’s married put an end to the
happiness she’s having with her new bloke. Come on, Eileen! There’s a bloke
across the road, jolly Jerry the kebab king who’s worth ten of Pat the
Irishman (no, that’s not a game) and can fill your heart with glee and
your appetite with cheap meat based products of indeterminate origin.
Carla cracks the whip at the factory and lets the girls know she’s
back in charge. Oh yes, Carla DeVille, as Janice now calls her, takes no
prisoners and has the girls working overtime on a Sunday. She promotes
Hayley to line manager and gives her a payrise and it’s in that thrusting
frame of mind that Carla greets Liam when he returns to the Street. She
tells him the factory’s hers as she owns 60%. “I’m the boss, get used to
it. You’re working for me now” she tells him and we all know that Liam’s
not best pleased. I know I use that phrase a lot, but I don’t half like
it. Carla even hires Rosie Webster as an admin assistant which knocks Sally’s
seams out of kilter when she finds out that her daughter’s working with
the management while she’s still on the shop floor.
Wong’s wages war on the Street as competition between the chippy and
Mortons kebab shop heats up. Cilla calls in the pest control to Jerry’s
kebab shop to put off his customers and tempt them all back to eating
chips further up the street. Surely, that was the Wong thing to do?
Leanne’s pizza place in the precinct opens for business. The standard
menu is £50 for a half hour, £350 for an overnight stay, £20
if you bring your own cutlery and any extras to be negotiated with Miss
Leanne herself.
Sarah and Jason return from their jollies with news for Eileen and
Gail. “You’re not pregnant, are you?” sighs Gail, but no, Sarah’s not,
not this time at least. Love’s young dream are planning on getting wed,
again, and Maria’s in line to be matron of honour. Gail’s not happy and
heaven only knows what Ma Grimshaw will say when she finds out.
Liz also returned to the Rovers this week after visiting Bev, Shelly
and Shelley’s baby somewhere vague in the north-west, reachable by coach
from Manchester bus station. While Vernon buys eight bunches of cheap
flowers from Dev’s shop and sprays himself silly with aftershave to prepare
for Liz’s return, Derek meets her at the coach station. He whisks her to
the flat where there’s luscious red roses and champagne to woo her into
bed for some rumpeh-pumpeh. But wait, what’s that? A knock on the door
and it’s Derek’s wife Linda. Derek bundles Liz out onto the balcony in her
undies. I loved this bit, it was really funny but Liz doesn’t look too happy
about it all. Torn between Vernon and Derek back at the pub later, Derek
calls round and she tells him it’s all over: “I’m too old to be standing
on balconies in me underwear” she cries. Vernon knows summat’s up and tries
to have a word with Liz, bless him, and comes out with a heart felt message
about how much he missed her while she was away: “It’s like when I lose
me drumsticks, but a hundred times worse”.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Glenda Young
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