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More wonderful stuff at the Rovers this week as Fred loses his heart to
Lillian Spencer. Audrey warns him off her, Ashley warns him off her,
even Shezza and Geena-two-bellies warn him off her too. But does he
listen? Does he tea-cake! Not only does he turn a deaf ear, I say a
blind eye, to what's going on under his nose and behind his back, he
gives Audrey short shrift and tells her to mind her own business.
"Stick to counting rollers" he tells Audrey when she warns him: "You got
rid of one gold-digger, now you're warming your bed for the next." But
it looks like Lillian has someone else to tuck under the duvet when her
son turns up in the bar. "Mummy!" "Timothy!". Ah yes he's that kind
of son and she's that kind of mother. While Lillian's lunching in town
and floating around in her silk scarf and best suit, she leaves Tim in
charge as cellarman but all he's good for is building pyramids out of
bar-mats, and he's not much cop at that. Lil sacks Jack with ease and
when Vera storms in there later to find out what's happened, Lil simply
tells them: "This is ay purb, not ay rest hurm". The barmaids are
revolting (I love saying that) and tell Fred they'll leave if the
Spencers are staying. Things go from bad to worse when Lil's
aromatherapeutic daughter Danielle turns up and over a teapot in the
back room the Spencers plan world domination.
Back for a brief visit last week when he popped in to get his washing
done, Jason legs it again. He leaves his old mum heartbroken as he
takes all her savings. Apart from proving that this storyline is a
waste of Sue Cleaver's comic talent, there's nothing much to add here
and so I'll move swiftly on.
No matter how old you get, women still hurt and men still deceive. So
Archie hasn't lied to Blanche, not really, but she knows something's
going on between him and Audrey and she's determined to find out what it
is. But Audrey's made Archie promise he won't tell anyone that she's
working for him, so what's a man to do? In the end, Archie comes clean
to Blanche - who ends up telling Maxine and Maria as Norris overhears
who tells Kevin and Martin who tell Les who takes the perm solution of
out Audrey when she comes into the pub. Audrey might have wanted it
kept strictly entre-nous but it's strictly entre-Rosamund Street now.
Fed up with Norris stalking him every time he tries to talk to Emily,
Richard threatens our favourite Commonwealth Games steward when he
collars him by the pentels in the Kabin. "I'm going to shut you up once
and for all" he slithers as Norris tells him that Rita's upstairs and
all he has to do is scream. Clearly a worried man, Richard panics when
Jack and Vera ask for their investment to be returned. He can't, he
hasn't got it, so bamboozles them with gobbledygook and gives them a
financial statement that they can't understand. The Duckies are taken
in and Richard's safe again, for now, free to spend what money he does
have on buying Nick a ticket to fly in from Canada for the wedding.
Maxine's mum Doreen calls in for a visit that ends up lasting all week.
She's left her husband Derek, again, and this time refuses to budge.
With her blonde hair and vanity she lets it be known that she'd like to
be thought of as an aunty, rather than a granny, to her grandson baby
Josh. Whatever, she's irritating the life out of Maxine and Ash. And
me.
And finally this week, it was Deirdre's 83rd birthday and Tracy sent her
tickets for a holiday to Spain for the two of them. Before they jet
off, Ken and Deirdre plan to visit Tracy, leaving Blanche all alone in
the house. Watch them stairs, Blanche, won't you. Whoops, sorry,
spoiling it for next week. See you then.
And that's just about that for this week.
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