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Monday 11 June 2012

Coronation Street Weekly Update - July 18 2005

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Charlie wheels Shelley off to the cosmetic surgeon for an overnight stay and an operation she doesn't need.  While Shelley's away, Violet's too scared to come into work in case Charlie grabs her by the dart board and Bev breaks into his builder's yard and grabs a handful of papers.  After knocking back a fair few vodka and  tonics – drink of choice on the cobbles for women with a past -  Bev starts calling Charlie's customers, asking them if they remember Charlie-boy the builder who did work for them recently, and  suggests he's been sleeping with their wives.  When an irate customer comes to see Charlie, he tells him about the phone call and  says he'll have Charlie arrested if he's been sleeping with his wife, she's been dead for 18 years.  Charlie asks what the voice on the phone sounded like and the customer replies: "Woman, middle-aged, drunk". Charlie knows it's Bev so goes round to her flat and there's an excellent scene full of tension and passion laced with  pure evil as Charlie snarls at Bev, threatens her, fondles her and plays with her mind while she quivers like an  un-set  strawberry jam.  Meanwhile, Shelley returns from the surgeon with scars so bad I had to hide behind my cushion and I've only ever done that once this year - watching Dr Who.  Ciaran and Bev  think  Charlie's beaten up Shelley, her face is so bruised and  battered that it was easy to assume but Shelley puts them straight  when she storms into the Rovers, eyes blazing, nose running, eye-lids seeping with pus, with the receipt for the face-lift at £2,300 plus vat.  Screaming at everyone, she throws Bev out (again) before locking herself in her room in tears once more.

Betty has a bit of a moment in the back room of the Rovers when  Marmaduke dies and goes to kitty heaven.  Sean had taken the cat to the vet as a ploy to get a date with Tim the Tall Vet but it's  curtains for the cat when Tim tells Sean he'll have to put it out of its misery, which puts Betty in hers.  Beside himself with grief,  Sean buys Betty a replacement kitten but the look on Betty's face  when she tells him "Oh, you shouldn't have" means he really shouldn't.  And so, as Betty mourns Marmaduke, Sean secures a date with the vet and invites him along on a walk with him  and a pet dog he doesn't have, called Bellasinead. "It's like a cross between Bella Emberg and Sinead O'Connor" Sean explains.  Tim accepts the invitation but where's Sean going to find a dog at short notice - and a dog that will answer to such a  stupid name?  Kirk reckons he's got the right dog for the job staying with him in the kennels and although it's called Buster he says it'll answer to Bella.  A desperate Sean says he'll give it a try although it's my experience that dogs will answer to anything you want to call them as long as you've got Scooby Snacks in your hand.

Kirk in the kennels isn't something I mention every update but this week he and Maria were summoned home to their parents for  important news.  Kirk and Maria's mam and dad are retiring abroad  and want to pass on the family business to them both.  Kirkeh's made up and keen to take on the challenge but Maria sees it as a  step down from twirling perms in the salon and wants to sell her  share of the family firm.

In the cafĂ©, Roy gets an offer he feels it impolite to refuse when  Mr Audenshaw from the Green Hotels chain offers to buy his  grandfather's patent.  The kinetic energy gizmo wotsit will be  installed on environmentally friendly hotel doors worldwide and make  Green Hotels rich but Roy's happy to sell the patent for the price of a new frame for his grandfather's photo.

And finally this week, Warren leaves for sunnier climes when he gets  a place on Spanish football team Real Christina Aguillera, or  something, who cares? Even mum Frankie appeared to be Not. That. Bothered.  Meanwhile Danny and Leanne spend the night in a  Nottingham hotel. Eating bacon butties next morning in bed, she asks  him why he's doing this if he loves his wife and son.  He likens it to ski-ing - the excitement of the downhill slalom, swerving  here, dodging there - although he clearly forgot to mention legs  akimbo.

And that's just about that for this week.

Glenda

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