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In an effort to raise some much needed cash (without Vera knowing), Jack bears all and strips nude for the all-girl students in Hilary’s life painting class. Well, I call them ‘girls’ but they’re more ‘women of a certain age’ really. After putting on her long distance specs, one woman paints an abstract, expressionist sort of cubist kind of painting in a modernist style and Jack’s confused when he sees it. When Hilary tells him it’s symbolic, he replies: “Do you mean she painted me symbolic naked?”.
Things continue to go wrong for Mike this week. After he threw Penny out last week, he can’t remember what happened and wonders where she’s gone. When Adam reminds him, Mike gives Penny’s engagement ring to Danny as a bonus for securing a big pants order (size 18+). Leanne lords it over the factory girls again after she splashes Danny’s cash in the sales. Back at the flat, she shows Danny the cut price corset she picked up shopping after he passes the sparkler on to her – with instructions to wear it on any finger except the one that it was meant for. And just where do people find cut price corsets in the sales these days anyway? The best I could find this year was a couple of pillow cases and a new teapot. Anyway, Danny causes more problems for Mike when he tells him that Adam and Penny are having an affair. Mike’s confused enough without someone putting poison in his shell-like but that’s exactly what Danny does. Penny had returned to put things straight with Mike but after Danny stirs things up Mike tells both Penny and Adam (calling them Linda and Mike) that he doesn’t want to see either of them again. Or in the case of Penny, that was again, again. Mike believes Danny’s his only ally and tells him he’s written a letter to son Mark in which he makes amends and invites him to return to Weatherfield. Danny offers to post the letter for him but instead he crumples it up and throws it away. Adam’s had enough and leaves the Street for Scotland, he’s had enough of Danny, his dad and the whole sorry mess. Now then, I always think the way a character leaves the Street says a lot about when – or if - they’ll ever return. Zooming off in a sports car the way Adam did after an emotional farewell to Deirdre and Ken could mean a definite maybe, perhaps.
Star-crossed young lovers Rosie and Craig snatch a few stolen words through the Websters back bedroom window while Craig risks falling to sudden death in the ginnel from a great height while sitting on the back yard wall. It’s all so romantic, it really is. Young Sophie meanwhile is feeling left out as the Websters turn their attention to wayward daughter Rosie. Sophie wants to join the bra-tastic set at school (so when did smoking behind the bike sheds go out of fashion?) Hayley recognises a lost soul when she sees one and runs up a bra for Sophie on her sewing machine. Yes, I know, that storyline was lovely in a bizarre sort of way.
Phil tries to shut up as Gail puts up with David being unbearably rude, while over the road at the Grimshaw’s, Eileen throws out Sarah and Bethany when she finds Jason playing happy families with the strumpet she blames for ruining her other son’s life. Eileen argues with Jason about Sarah and later sheds tears after an emotional phone call to Todd. She finally pulls herself together, agrees to disagree with Jason and instead of interfering in his love life she makes a New Year resolution to find a fella for herself. Having decided to get on with Jason and Sarah, Eileen and Sean babysit Bethany while Jason takes Sarah to the pub. When Gail finds out, she’s not best pleased and tells Eileen she’s only weakened to gain cheap popularity with her son. She’s wrong, but Gail could do well to heed her own words after David continues to bicker with his mother. Phil tries to get David to calm down and help out around the house but his words fall on stoney-deaf teenage ears. Phil finally has enough of young David and when Gail nips out to the chippy he loses it completely. He throws David up against the living room wall and threatens him, all snarly like. When David defends himself to Gail when she returns with the chips, she takes Phil’s side instead of her son’s and ends up slapping David across the face when he bad-mouths her fella again.
Blanche attends Lena’s funeral and, keeping the pledge she made to Lena before she popped off this mortal coil, dresses in a scarlet suit in a two-fingered salute to the Grim Reaper. After the funeral, the Barlows hear the patter of tiny feet (is Tracy pregnant again already?) when Lady Freckles enters their house - it’s Lena’s dog that she’s left Blanche in her will. The dog’s name gets shortened to Eccles and it’s a tiny, weeny, cute kind of dog, so small that Chesney’s dog Schmeicel could wear it as an ear-ring. Tracy’s besotted and shows Eccles more affection and attention that she’s ever bestowed on her own little daughter but the pooch takes an instant dislike to Ken (so it’s not a Pe-Ken-ese then). Kirk advises Ken on how best to handle Eccles and says he has to prove to the dog that he’s leader of the pack and must show Eccles who’s boss. It doesn’t go to plan when Eccles gets the best spot on the sofa and Ken’s on the floor feeding chocolates to the pooch - and then gets bitten for his efforts before the dog chews his wallet. Meanwhile, Deirdre and the dog get on like old pals and she takes it with her for company on her fag breaks in the backyard.
Fred and Bev get cabin fever as they work up to asking each other about sleeping arrangements on this here upcoming cruise. Neither of them can bear to hear that the other simply wants to be nothing more than good friends, so in the end, nothing’s said. As Bev, Liz and Vernon set off for the cruise, Fred decides to stay in the safe harbour of the Rovers instead of rocking the boat of friendship by dipping his toe in the waters of lurve with Bev.
The wonderful Amber returned to the Street again this week to give dad Dev a bit of hassle in the shop. When he asks her why she isn’t helping out her mum over in the Eccles shop she accuses him of being racist and trying to stereotype her. More Amber please, she’s great.
Tyrone enters Maria in The Gazette’s ‘Surprise The Bride’ competition while Maria shocks Tyrone with a tub of hot wax in the back of the salon. “Take your clothes off and lie on the bed” Maria tells her fiancé but Tyrone doesn’t get exactly what he was hoping for. Maria waxes his back (ouch) then his chest (double ow) as her way of giving something back to him after he spent a small fortune on her Chrimbo pressies.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Glenda
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