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Story of the week has been Cilla vs Rita over Chesney's clout in the Kabin.
Rita gets arrested for ABH and is found guilty as charged on the count of
Awfully Big Hair and is released on bail for Actual Bodily Harm against
little Chesney (described this week by The Guardian as "a mini Chuckle brother").
Cilla gets herself one of them 'no-win, no-fee' solicitors on the recommendation
of a woman who got six thousand pounds for being stuck to a turkey.
The solicitor reckons the case is worth £500 so Cilla tells Rita she'll
go for an out of court settlement for £5,000 and promises Chesney
a holida in Florida. Les goes along with Cilla's plans mostly, but
voices concern about being an innocent caught up with the law, summat
he knows about but Cilla pays no mind. She wheedles poor Rita summat
rotten and the actress who plays Cilla, Wendi Peters, is doing a fantastic
job. "I'm as sensitive as the next woman" says Cilla - the next
woman being Margaret Thatcher we presume. Things get too much for
Rita and there's tears in a nasty cardigan in the back room of
the Kabin with Norris and in the front of the Kabin with Audrey. It's Audrey
who tells Rita to pull herself together, put her make-up and glad rags on
and get down to the Rovers to face the world and Cilla. "Lovey...
" Audrey says, "...it's the world gone mad, not you". And when
Cilla has a go at Rita in the Rovers, Rita faces the challenge and holds
her own. If there was ever any doubt that Rita was losing the strength
that has made her one of the Street's all-time top women and my favourite
female character ever, it was dispelled in that scene - but the force of
it knocked her for six. "Double brandy for Mrs Sullivan", Fred tells Shelley,
as Rita wonders if she's just gone and made things worse for herself.
Mad Maya tells Dev she's ready to take back the stolen vase to the store
she nicked it from last week but she gets as far as Todd by the till in
the corner shop. When she hears Todd say he's saving up to get married,
she gives him the vase as a wedding gift, much to Dev's amazement. The woman's
an utter nutter.
Bev and Charlie have lunch together at the Weatherfield Arms then they
go back to his place where Bev falls into the builder's arms. She's
like a giddy schoolgirl when she gets back to the Rovers afterwards.
However, word soon spreads about the two of them and Charlie's not happy
to hear they're talk of the pub. He has a few words with Bev and tries to
cool things off but the woman's got an itch to scratch and she just
won't leave him alone.
Kirk's not sleeping or eating and can only think about how much he's missing
Fiz. He asks Tyrone to have a word with her, to find out what he has
to do to get back in her good books. However, Tyrone wants Fiz for himself
so communication gets skewed from Fiz to Kirk when Tyrone doesn't pass on
all the right words and makes some up of his own. As Fiz and Tyrone
get passionate after cheap chips and lager, Kirk's outside the flat throwing
bunches of flowers at the window, his big romantic gesture. "I want
you to marry me!" he cries. "I can't," comes the answer, "I'm
your sister". Oops, wrong window. By the time he starts crooning Slim
Shady to Fiz at her window, she's done the business with Tyrone and they're
both still in bed. Tyrone and Kirk both want Fiz for their own, she
doesn't know who she wants but when Kirk sees Tyrone at the bedroom window,
he's in tears again, thinking Fiz has already made her decision.
Kev takes Tommy back on at the garage as he needs a mechanic and Tommy
needs a job. Tommy tells Kev he's cutting down on his drinking - which
he seems to be - but only when Kevin's around.
Maria points out to Fred that she's seen sparks between Ashley and Claire
so he decides on a plan that'll give the two young 'uns some time on their
own int'house. He spirits baby Josh away to Maxine's parents for a
few days and takes himself off to Umbria, it's in Italy, you know.
Ashley knows what's going on and doesn't seem, as yet, too phased by the
idea.
And finally this week, the widow Penny King turns up in the Rovers to meet
Mike for a drink. He's delayed at the factory so she and Fred get chatting
and he asks her out on a date, to which she accepts. How lovely, I say,
Mike'll not be best pleased when he finds out.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
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