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Wednesday 13 June 2012

Coronation Street Weekly Update - Jan 8 2002

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Norris has been an absolute joy this week, being the only one able to stop baby Ben bawling and send him to sleep. Emma and Curly are run ragged after sleepless nights until Norris starts crooning and the baby starts snoring. Whether it's "Underneath The Arches" or "Love is a Many Splendored Thing", Norris manages to sing his way into the baby's heart and lull him to sleep. In desperation for a good night's sleep, Curly borrows Norris' cardigan, hoping the scent from the cardi will comfort the baby. It doesn't work, but when Curly realises Norris' crooning does the job quickly, he tapes him for posterity on the cassette recorder. Norris welcomes the task. He clears his throat, asks for a glass of water and wonders how Ben would like a spot of Judy Garland. I remember doing much the same thing babysitting my neice, then aged 4, when she asked me to sing her to sleep. Assuming 4 year olds liked simple songs I tried her with Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. It didn't work and I got a puzzled look. I sang Kumbayah and got the same response. "Sing me songs like grandma sings me" she pleaded. And then I got it; mam is a huge Shirley Bassey fan. If you've ever seen a 4 year old fall asleep to "Hey Big Spender" being sung in a whisper, it's quite a sight to see. Anyway, Norris reckons the reason he can send Ben off to sleep is because of their special birthing bond as Norris was the first person Ben saw when he came into the world. They do this at Eurodisney, you know. When ducks are born, they make sure someone in a duck suit is the first person the ducklings see, creating a special birthing bond which ensures the ducks follow the person in the duck suit on each and every Disney parade. Whether the ducklings fall asleep to "Somewhere over the Rainbow" sung by a short man in a cardi has yet to be proven.

Vera goes to see Julie Reardon, the woman Terry had his affair with. The woman who's husband is the policeman who fitted Terry up for a crime he didn't commit. Julie, as you'd expect, is almost as blonde and brassy as Vera and at first won't admit to Vera that she knows the truth about Terry. However, when Julie's husband up and leaves her for her best friend, Julie's straight round to Vera's ready to put the record straight and nail the lying toe-rag. Meanwhile, Fiz realises she can earn a bob or two by telling tales to the journalist who's come snooping around for news on Terry. When the article appears in the local paper, Vera's not best pleased to read all about Fiz and "My Night of Passion with Fugitive", even if it's not true. Fiz finally comes clean, after prompting by Tyrone, and gives Vera the money she received as payment for the article. (I don't know about you though, but I still don't like her).

Over at the Rovers, Eve starts to settle in. Betty delivers her verdict on her new boss to Rita and Blanche - with a sniff: "She'll do". But within days Eve's upset Betty and she's off out of that door as quick as you like. "You can't just walk out!" yells Eve. Oh yes she can, she's done it before and she'll do it again. Shelly hands in her notice and tells Eve she's going to work for Duggie at the rugby club and then Geena decides she also doesn't want to work at the Rovers anymore. When Duggie's deal with the rugby club falls through, Shelley has to grovel for her job back and Geena decides to stay too. That leaves only Betty to sort out and with a kind word from Fred, he persuades Betty to get back to work, but Eve's not best pleased to have her authority undermined.

Geena and Dev, while beautiful to look at, continue to bicker and bitch about weddings and families. So it'll be a typical marriage, then. Mrs Geena comes round to the flat to say she and Mr Geena have accepted the fact that their daughter will be marrying a foreigner and they're looking foward to the big white frilly church wedding that they want so much to impress their friends with. When Geena tells her mum the pair of them are off to Tobago for the wedding, mum takes her Elsie Tanner accent and flounces out of the flat. In the corner shop, Dev announces to all present (Sunita, Vik, Deirdre) that he and Geena are going abroad to be married. Deirdre's dismayed. Either that or she was sucking sherbert lemons at the time. Who knows? It was one of "those" faces anyway.

And finally, this week saw one of the best characters in a long time leave the Street for good. No leaving the cobbles in a taxi for this one. Dennis dies in hospital after telling Janice at his bed-side that he loved her more than anyone. Everyone's in tears. Janice, Eileen, Les, Toyah, the lot. But it was when Tyrone started bubbling in the garage "He was me mate, Kev", that the emotion got to me. Eileen's boys are confused, they can't understand why their mum wants to go to the funeral to show her respects to a man who tore their life apart. But when the anger subsides, Jason tells Eileen: "I liked him, mum. I liked him better than my dad. I liked him better than Todd's dad. He was the best of them all". It's left to Janice to arrange the funeral and it's to Eileen she turns for help and advice. In an emotional scene at Eileen's house, she gives Janice a photo of the man they both loved and the two of them just look at each other for a while and I'm sat on the sofa with moist eyes going "just hug each other, go on, just hug each other for god's sake" and they did and I cried. On the day of the funeral, Rita proves what a trooper she is and supports Janice all the way. Mind you, if you had ever wondered what happened to Maxine's pussy, then wonder no more. Rita Sullivan was wearing it on her head at the funeral. As Janice and Eileen are about to enter the church, the roar of a couple of dozen motorbikes can be heard in the distance as Dennis' biker friends come to pay their respects to one of their own. To the strains of "Whiter Shade of Pale", Toyah reads a reading, Janice says a few words and there's tears and snot all over the place. Then Les forces his way forward from the back of the church to say a few words of his own. He blames himself for Dennis' death, how could he not, especially after Janice had told him "I wish you had died. I will never forgive you for this, ever!". Later, back at Janice's flat over sandwiches and small talk, Rita gets friendly with a biker and Dennis' aunty Joan (wonderful, bring her back) goes poking for gossip until Rita whisks her away by the scruff of her neck.

And that is just about that for this week.
Glenda


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