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Monday 11 June 2012

Coronation Street Weekly Update - Jan 24 2005

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Fiz gets jealous when Kirk meets Thelma and her Lulu.  Thelma's a belly dancer and as she's a big woman there's a lot of belly in her dance.  She's also got a poor excuse of a dog, a pink poodle called Lulu and she pays Kirk to walk it, giving him the key to her house.  Kirk tells Cilla and Les about this arrangement and they reckon Thelma's got the hots for young Kirkeh and are keen to pass on this news to Fiz, who gets all upset. With Sean as her fellow detective: "Oooh!  What would Angela Lansbury do?" the pair of them stake out Thelma's house and spy Kirk in the living room getting an eye-ful of Thelma's belly, it could have been dancing, it could have been wobbling.  Thelma's bloke, thick as two short planks, thinks someone's been seeing Thelma on the sly and storms round to the Battersbys where Les ends up getting a thumping in a case of mistaken identity. Les hasn't a clue what's going on or why he's been battered so is only too happy to take Kirk's offer of twenty quid and Thelma's front door key if he'll walk Lulu.  When Les gets to the house he's slobbered on and snarled at by Lulu, Thelma and the thick bloke as he protests his innocence before being thrown out.   Kirk's a bit confused too, he doesn't know why Fiz is upset as he knows there's nowt that Thelma's got that Fiz can't give him, including the big belly.  He's upset in the Rovers and when Charlie asks him: "You in the dog house today?" he replies: "No, it's me day off". Ah bless.

Katy's bombshell hits Martin and as he copes with the shrapnel falling around him, he seems to come round to the situation at last: "We're having this baby" he tells her, with a hint of conviction. Well, that's before she drops into the conversation the fact she stopped taking the pill which is when Martin goes ballistic all over again before finally, once more, as you always know they do, in the end, accepts the news once more that they're in the family way, up the duff and have a cake in the oven.  I know it's a bun but a cake would be nicer, sweeter, more frilly somehow, perhaps with some glace cherries in it.   They're keeping the news to themselves for now.  Just wait until Tommy finds out.  I know I said that last week, but I can't wait, oh no, it'll be great, especially as Katy wants to pack in college and move to a bigger flat and Martin's on his last warning at work and is already supporting one family as it is.  Ah well, love's young dream will have to see them through, perhaps it will or maybe reality will intrude.  But just wait until Tommy finds out.

Dev's new shop is finished, it's now D&S Alahan's and it's all fitted out and open for business - but where were the Tunnocks caramel wafers? Dev checks the invoices that Charlie's submitted for the work and it's clear that Charlie's been diddling the insurance.  He shrugs it off and tells Dev as a business man he should understand what he's been up to.  Dev tells Charlie what he's doing is fraudulent and takes him off the job rebuilding the rest of his corner shop empire. Charlie needs someone to blame and chooses Shelley.  She's an easy target, like a hippopotamus, big, slow, but she doesn't deserve what Charlie does next.  When she's all dolled up for a night out, he rips the diamond ear-rings out that she's wearing, drops them on the floor and spits on them.  And still she swears she loves him, doesn't want to lose him, will do anything for him. What is with these women?  Further humiliation's in store for Shelley when Charlie puts up a weight loss chart in the bar saying he'll donate a fiver for every pound Shelley loses between now and Valentine's day.  She should do herself a favour and lose a ton of flab by locking Charlie out of the pub and her life right now.

As Tyrone gets Vera to accept Maria back into their lives, Maria's playing away with a footballer called Stuart.  The Duckies want Tyrone and Maria to go to Blackpool with them but it's left up to Jack to have a quiet word with the lad in the Rovers when he tells him that Maria's seeing another bloke.

Also seeing another bloke is Sally in the garage, being fondled by the filing cabinets, felt up by the photocopier and kissed by the boss.  While she's in a clinch with Ian in his office, in walks Kevin but Mrs Webster and Mr Davenport manage to disengage from each other before Kev spots anything untoward going on in the underwear department.

Remember warts? WARTS to be precise.  Weatherfield Area Retail Traders Association (or something).  Well, it's now called the TA - Traders Association - and Norris isn't best pleased that Sunita's decided to go along to her first meeting.  He's even less happy that she's nominated for president when the present incumbent steps down.   Fred agrees that it's all a rum do and at the bar of the Rovers, Fred, Norris and Roy quote Churchill and muse on whether Sunita could handle the role.

And that's just about for this week.

Glenda

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