NEW FOR KINDLE...
Corrie weekly updates from 1995, 17 years in 17 e-books
All the wit and warmth of Weatherfield, none of the waffle
Available from amazon.co.uk or amazon.com
Check out the Coronation Street Blog - it's FAB
Fred and Eve are still living with the Peacocks and still looking
for somewhere to live. When the secret snorer is revealed to be
Eve, she confesses to Fred: "I've tried everything - cotton
wool, ear plugs, the world service... " but it's all to no
avail and while everyone's making an effort to get along in that
little house, it's clear something's got to give. It's fortunate
then, in't it, that Duggie decides to auction off the Rovers.
With Geena and Shelly fighting for role as queen bee behind the
bar, it's Eve that nabs the limelight when Fred buys her the Rovers
- lock, stock and barrel - on the auction night. In a move that
fair knocks the smile off Shelley's face and the evil grin from
Geena's, Eve's over the moon but Audrey has a few choice words
for Fred. "If she's the queen of the palace, does that make
you her king or court jester?" Fred reminds Audrey that despite
their friendship, Eve's his wife and Audrey would do well to remember
that, so think on, I say, respect his decision.
With Richard being pestered by an unhappy client, he decides
to do a runner for the festive season and whisks Gail off to Canada.
Leaving David and Sarah to celebrate Christmas with Martin and
Sally, Gail and Richard jet off from Weatherfield to spend Christmas
with Nick. Audrey's not best pleased with this arrangement for
Christmas as Sally cooks turkey in Gail's kitchen. But Martin
knows just how to handle this tough old bird and keeps Audrey
merry with sherry as best as he can. But what's this? The turkey's
not cooked, the sprouts are still raw, the pudding's gone cold
and the gas has gone off. There's a problem with the gas supply
and one side of the street are left without power to cook Christmas
dinner. It's fortunate then, in't it, that the Croppers are cooking
up a storm in the cafe, turning the place into a soup kitchen
for the homeless with Norris in control: "It's one can per
tramp!". As the homeless move on to somewhere bigger and
better, offering perhaps two cans per tramp, Roy's Rolls is turned
over to the gas-less, as the street descends on the cafe for a
hot meal and a cracker.
Sam's got problems with his plumbing so moves in with Toyah,
much to her dismay, she's got enough to handle with Les around
the place. It all gets too much for her and she cracks with the
strain. Mind you, I don't blame her, it can't be easy having a
boyfriend hoping for a part in the next Wallace and Gromit adventure.
Cracking cheese, Sam. Anyway, talking about Sam, he strips off
and bears all for the girls at the factory when he turns up as
sexy Santa (aka mistletoe Mike) at their annual party. However,
drunken women, as is their wont, turn their attention from Sam
to chasing Vik through the streets and then ripping off Steve
McDonald's shirt. Sam finds out that Vik's got a spare room in
his flat, a spare room that Vik's not keen to have Bobbi taking
over so he agrees to Sam moving in with him and everyone's pleased
all round. Sam's sorted, Toyah's relieved, Vik's delighted and
Bobbi doesn't know if she's coming or going.
Ashley's overjoyed when Maxine has a scan at the hospital -
he can see the baby waving at him on the monitor - and he waves
back: "Hello little baby!". He even has the image printed
onto a t-shirt and wears it with pride to drinks at Emma and Curly's.
Matt's cracking up and pesters Maxine more than ever, offering
her love and affection and the promise of being a proper family.
She's terrified he'll tell Ashley the truth about the baby so
doesn't want to upset him too much incase he cracks. Instead,
she lets him kiss her and there's a lot of 'those' kind of looks
between the pair of them often.
With the Duckies away in Blackpool, Tyrone moves Fiz into the
house where they receive an unwelcome house guest when Terry returns.
It's hard to know who gets the biggest shock as Terry stumbles
across Fiz in a bath towel (a scene which almost, but not quite,
put me off my Terry's Chocolate Orange washed down with Bailey's
Irish Cream). Tyrone offers Terry 600, money he'd earned from
clocking cars for Karl, to leave them alone and get out of their
life before Jack and Vera return. I lost a bit of what happened
next, probably distracted by too much Terry's Irish Chocolate
being gushed down by the Bailey's Orange Cream but the next thing
you know is that Jack is in the shed with Terry when he starts
having pains in his chest. Torn between doing a runner or taking
his dad to the hospital, Terry does the decent thing (for once)
and speeds Jack to the emergency ward. Fortunately (although rather
embarassingly) for Jack, it's not an angina attack, it's wind!
Flamin' Nora. Anyway, Terry gets nicked, again.
Dev and Geena lie to both sets of parents, pretending to be
in Madrid for Christmas. When Geena's mum goes to the corner shop
to drop off presents for her daughter, Sunita unwittingly lets
slip that Geena's not gone anywhere and this creates more friction
between Geena and Dev. Unable to agree, Geena flounces out of
the flat. Meanwhile over in the cafe, Deirdre and Peter have a
humdinger of a fight and after deciding she needs a shoulder to
cry on, Deidre flounces in. And then, oh God, this is SO horrible.
No, honestly it is. Look away now. Look away, I tell you. Dev
and Deirdre... I can hardly bear to say it. Dev and Deidre shag.
There, I've said it. It was horrible. Everyone in the living room
(and being Christmas, there were a lot of people in the living
room at the time. There was aunty Beryl;, uncle Stewart - the
one with the limp, not the one who ran off with the man from the
pie shop; cousin Katie - fresh back from Tanzania with a face
full of spots; great aunt Ethel.. sorry, you get the picture).
Well, everyone in the living room, all of us, as one, went "yeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh".
Afterwards, once he'd been showered (with Dettol and a scrubbing
brush) Dev does his best to be civil to Deirdre, they do have
to work together after all. But Deirdre's got other ideas and
grabs Dev by the Tunnocks at every opportunity. It's clear Dev
has to do something, something drastic, to get the message through
to Deirdre that he doesn't want to take this relationship any
further. And so, on New Years Eve he tells Geena in the Rovers
back room that he wants to marry her sooner rather than later.
Like now, whenever - just soon.
It's all systems go as Emma went into labour with only Norris
for company but he tells her to fear not, he knows what to do.
"I go through medical encyclopeadias like other people go
through Jilly Coooper's". While he's very well meaning, fortunately
Curly arrives in the nick of time. In a wonderful scene, Emma
tells Curly her waters have broken. "Are you sure?"
he asks her. "OF COURSE I'M BLOODY SURE!" is her defnite
reply. "The cervix has to be 10cm" says Curly. "Shall
we get a tape measure?" asks Norris. Despite Norris, all
goes well and Curly eventually delivers his 6lb 2oz son on the
sofa. Norris is thrilled to have taken part in the process and
the Watts' acknowledge his help by naming the baby Ben after Norris'
middle name of Benjamin. The only trouble is, Norris then takes
it upon himself to be available for the baby, Emma and Curly as
often as possible and for as long as possible.
Elswhere on the Street, Sarah gets dumped by boyfriend Luke
when he sends her a text message "u r my x". Wonderful
stuff. Mind you, she had been seen kissing Todd (or is it Jason?
I still can't tell) who tells her he fancies her more than he
fancies Candice.
And finally, I've kept this storyline till last. I know it
should have been riveting, I know that in the scheme of things
to a Corrie fan like me, it should have mattered. But it didn't.
I don't know why, but it didn't. Perhaps it was Bruce Jones' wooden
acting but I'm just glad this storyline will soon be over, I really
am. Here's what happened. Les is already distraught over losing
Janice, blah blah, she tells him she wants a divorce and he's
also upset after being told that Leanne won't be coming home for
New Year after all. So, with all this on his mind, he asks Vik
if he can work new year's eve, it'll be better than sitting around
the house alone. Vik agrees and off Les goes in the car with a
bottle of whisky that Vik has left behind on the back seat. Drunk
and desperate, Les tries to commit suicide by putting the pipe
thing into the car and letting it fill up with carbon monoxide.
When Eileen and Steve hear Les on the car radio, they know he's
in trouble and it's Dennis who goes off, on his bike, looking
for Les. When he finds him, he drags him out of the smoke filled
car. Les is barely conscious. Dennis takes the driving seat and
sets off for the the hospital. En-route, they have a car crash
and the wrong character survives. Lovely, cuddly (but ultimately
unfaithful) Dennis will die in next week's update, and that really
is a shame.
Glenda
Follow the Coronation Street Blog on Twitter and Facebook
No comments:
Post a Comment