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After Ken and Deidre's engagement announcement coming the day
before HRH and Flotilla Parking-Boats announced theirs, you can
only go and guess what's happened now. Yes, the wedding of
the year is going to be held on the same day as Charles and Camilla's
- Friday April 8th. What a glut of televisual glee that
will be. I've got the beers in already and have started crocheting
my commerative Ken and Deirdre tea towel with matching socks and
hat. Deirdre pours herself into something gold and ill-fitting
with a matching bad jacket and models her wedding outfit for Ken
by the sideboard. "It's lovely" he says. It's not, and I
spot a gap in the market for Pronuptia to start a mid-life/middle-aged-spread
range.
At the butcher's Fred's got Gregory on work experience but tells
him to make himself scarce and Claire takes over at the counter.
Fred's overjoyed, I say, he's made up and considers changing the
name of the business to Elliot and Family. But Claire's got plans,
she wants to work outside of the home, far away from these two
great planks of meat and not in the butcher's shop either.
She goes off for an interview as nanny to another family, leaving
little Josh with Fred in the house. When she returns, Ashley
and Fred are made up when she tells them she changed her mind and
didn't go for the interview after all. But when they find
out the truth, they're not best pleased. Claire, apparantly,
has always wanted to be a tram driver and on the way to the interview
she spotted a job vacancy advert. Ashley fails to understand
what his wife wants to drive trams for, it's beyond him completely.
Fred tells Ashley to let Claire know who's boss: "Put your foot
down with a firm hand". But some of us women (for
indeed I am one), trains and trams hold a fascination, it's not just
a bloke thing so I think this storyline's great. If you're of a like
mind, you might enjoy reading Parallel Lines by Ian Marchant.
It's subtitled Journeys on the Railways of Dreams; or Every Girl's
Big Book of Trains. Choo-choo, all aboard, step along the platform,
mind your knees, stop hiding from the inspector without your ticket
in the toilet, we know you're in there.
Scooter does his best to get on with the Platts and brings Bethany
a doll's house he's found in the skip. It's in total need of renovation,
fixing and cleaning. When Gail's toaster is toast, he brings
another one he's found in a house clearance after some old bloke
has died. "Ugh, dead man's crumbs" says David before Gail
goes out and buys a new one that looks exactly the same as the
old one Scooter found for them. He's a good character is
Scooter, quirky and quiet, quite fun.
Charlie takes Shelley to The Clock for a celebration dinner after
she got down to her ideal weight - although Sunita had moved the
scales by two pounds so it only looked as if Shelley had hit her
target. He then pays for Shelley and Sunita to take a trip
to a health farm and when they return, starts messing with Shelley's
mind over the weight loss thing, all of two pounds. It's
all too believable - just a bit complicated to write down. What
he's done basically is to turn Sunita and Shelley against each
other, deepening Shelley's reliance on him for comfort and support
while alienating her mates. He's a nasty piece of work. Sunita
can see it quite clearly now but Shelley doesn't want to know
and the pair of them stop speaking.
Steve's upset in the Rovers when he opens a letter (why do they
do open their post in the pub?) and it's divorce papers from Karen.
Tracy can hardly contain herself but it's Eileen who puts a wry
smile on Steve's face with some motherly concern and a good sense
of humour.
Tommy reckons Sally's having an affair after the to-do about
the wotsits in her handbag t'other week. And he thinks she's
having the affair with Martin. So sure of this is he that
he tells Angela and when she finds out that Sally and Martin used
to be an item years ago, the pair of them are sure Martin's cheating
on Katy. Meanwhile, Martin's planned a few days holiday in
the Lake District where he plans to propose to Katy but Tommy doesn't
know that and he sits in a rage over the sight of Martin getting
into Sally's car when she offers him a lift to work.
Ah yes, Sally at work. Ian's back from holiday at the garage
and it's business as usual in the back room of the car show room
for the pair of them. She questions him about Della and wonders
if there are any more women in his past who he's had affairs with
and then sacked. Ian guarantees on his daughter's life
that although Sally might not be the first woman he's been involved
with, she'll certainly be the last. And then they got jiggy
in the reception area and he didn't even take off his vest.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
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