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Monday 11 June 2012

Coronation Street Weekly Update - Feb 14 2005

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Love is in the air, everyone we look around on the cobbles this week. Oh yes, love is in the air, in every sight and every sound. And I don't know if it's just a coincidence or a conspiracy plot, but it's something we all must believe in because the clues, my friends, are there.  On the day Ken and Deirdre were wed, back in July 1981, Prince Charles married his Diana just a few days later. And now Ken's gone and done it again.  He went and proposed to Deirdre the day before Prince Charles announced his engagement to Mrs Camilla Park-and-Ride. Deirdre says yes, she will, while Camilla Parker-Knowles-Recliner sported an engagement ring the size of Nairobi. So there you have it, coincidence? I think we should be told.  Anyway, the wedding's off after Ken tells Deirdre he's marrying her for the best of all reasons: benefit entitlement, pension and tax.  But what Deirdre wants is romance, love and passion.  So they call the wedding off.   Ken has a chat in the Rovers to Fred, who tells him: "A woman wants a bouquet, not a balance sheet" and Tracy does her best to make Ken see sense  - and so he proposes again. This time, he's down on one knee (not easy for a man of his age), in the pouring rain as Deirdre's sitting on Maxine's bench on the street.  So, once again, Deirdre accepts Ken's  proposal of marriage and the two of them skip back to the house, probably to crack open a bottle of red, put their feet up and celebrate with Tunnocks tea-cakes. Which is probably what Charles and Cruella Tarka-Poles did too, right after they told the Queen, I just bet.

Elsewhere on the street this week, it's Amy's first birthday.  After an eventful first year of life spent being kidnapped, raised by the Croppers and bought and sold more times than a fake Britney Spears autograph on e-bay, Amy's quite a happy little baby and enjoys the party Tracy's laid on for her at the Barlow's.  Blanche's friend Lena turns up from the 1o'clock club with a glad eye for Ken and a taste for rum punch.  There's more old people than young at the party so Emily, Rita and Norris help themself to the booze and start singing Bobby's Girl in a three part harmony by the sideboard.  Steve turns up with a gift for his daughter but no smiles for her manic mother and leaves pretty sharpish, as you would.

Schmeicel's still missing and Les, Fiz, Kirk and Chesney manage to pull together the £250 demanded on the ransom note - although how difficult can it be to lose the biggest dog in the world? Anyway, they give the money to Cilla who takes it to her mate Yana, pays her off and brings the dog back home, with enough money left over to buy herself a new pair of boots. Cilla's the heroine of the hour until Kirk and Fiz figure out that Cilla made the ransom note.  Cilla's trying to get Schmeicel moved to live in kennels but Fiz tells her the dog's staying where it is and if she refuses, Fiz will tell Chesney and Les the truth about the money.

Sally gets a visitor at work in the shape of Ian's spurned lover with the name of Della Hopkins.  Della used to work at the garage, in Sally's job. She used to sit where Sally sat, do the things Sally does and stayed late working overtime for the same reasons Sally does too. Della tells Sally that Ian sacked her when their relationship ended just before Sally started working for him and gives her a few words of warning with a glint in her eye and a sparkle in her steel toe-caps. Sally minces to Gail's where Gail hasn't got a clue what Sally's on about, she's wondering if she should tell Kevin, finish with Ian, leave work, stay schtum or e) all of the above.  It's all a bit of a mess and I'm starting not to care, which is a shame as I used to like Sally before she went nuts.

Norris holds court in the Rovers as the book club disintegrates around him.  The book they're all reading, "Hard Grinding", he reckons is beneath him.  "Beyond him, more like" snarls Blanche.  "This book reeks of masculinity" says Norris to which Blanche replies: "Which is more than can be said about you" before a discussion ensues as to just how effeminate Norris really is.

It's Shelley's weigh-in at the Rovers on Valentine's night and she's still a couple of pounds over the 10st limit Charlie had set for her. He's all grand, empty gestures during the most romantic day of the year with a big, bland bunch of roses and heart-shaped fireworks for Shelley. I mean, huh, who'd be impressed by that? I wouldn't have wanted it, oh no, and I'm like, really, really pleased that nobody did anything in any way resembling any of that for me, really, no I am, really, I can buy my own flowers if I want them, really.  So there he is with his grand gestures and when he finds out that Sunita pulled the scales back two pounds so that Shelley would weigh in at an exact ten stone, he's not best pleased and there's threat behind his eyes as he turns Violet to stone in the Rovers back room.

And that's just about that for this week.

Glenda

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