NEW FOR KINDLE...
Corrie weekly updates from 1995, 17 years in 17 e-books
All the wit and warmth of Weatherfield, none of the waffle
Available from amazon.co.uk or amazon.com
Check out the Coronation Street Blog - it's FAB
Glenda was away, this week's update written by Nigel Worsfold
Vera learns that it was Jack's intention to make a joke at
her expense, in the form of a Christmas card with his photo on
it. His idea was some utterly hilarious line like: CHRISTMAS GREETINGS
FROM JACK AND THE OLD NAG. The nag being the horse, of course.
She plans revenge, and takes a camera to his hospital bed, where
she gets Martin to take a picture of the two of them. The exact
form of the revenge is yet to be revealed. Jack receives various
visitors to his sick bed, but the one that pleases him most is
when Jamie brings one of the pigeons in a cardboard box.
With half her staff on the sick list, Vera is having great
trouble coping behind the bar. Alec offers his services, and Vera
accepts, hoping that Jack won't hear of it. Of course he will!
Rita and Fred go for a convivial Sunday lunch at the Wiltons.
The real purpose is for Derek to further his ambitions vis-a-vis
the Square Dealers, rather than any matchmaking intentions. Rita
is still undecided about accepting Fred's proposal. She seeks
Emily's counsel in the pub, and then expresses her admiration
for Jack and Vera as a couple. Is she talking about the same Jack
and Vera that we know? Can't be. She's coming down with the 'flu,
so maybe her judgement is clouded. Fred brings a veritable armful
of gifts to the Kabin, for her to pamper herself with. Flowers,
booze and food mostly. He decides against chocolates, as that
would be like taking coals to Newcastle.
The great Wiltonian lunch starts off well enough with Fred
delivering an extravagant toast to FRIENDSHIP, but within minutes,
it descends into unseemly conduct and shouting when Derek learns
from Fred that the vacant "crevice" in the Dealers has
already been filled by young Timmy, son of the recently departed
Tommy Hook. Derek is furious. He calls Fred a dishonest tub of
lard and a womanising scoundrel. I'm not exactly sure how these
things go, but I'd say that outburst might impede Derek's future
Square Dealing aspirations. The foursome breaks down there and
then with some hasty exits, and the hapless Mavis holding lashings
of unwanted pudding. Thereafter, Fred keeps a low profile. Difficult,
but there it is.
Des, Claire and Becky leave in his car, with the intention
of looking at a canal cruiser. Money to burn, that man!
Alf gets back his driving licence, and he's delighted. While
out collecting Audrey from a shopping foray, she lets slip the
news about Fred and Rita's possible marriage. On hearing this,
his driving skills desert him, and he immediately turns the wrong
way up a one-way-street, where he hits a police car coming the
other way. Andy later tells this tale to the assembled guzzlers,
to much merriment.
Joyce is clearly having cash flow difficulties, and asks Vera
for a sub. I thought this was an optimistic request, to say the
least. Even if Vera was in a position to provide a submarine,
does Joyce have an underworld connection who might be able to
fence a sub? Unlikely, I'd say. Anyway, Vera refuses. It seems
that Joyce might have also been using Betty's name to run up a
further catalogue account. Judy confronts her. Joyce fibs.
Sean comes to The Hourglass and gives Liz a bag of jelly babies.
He has got hold of the idea that it says a great deal about a
person, how they eat their jelly baby. He can't wait to see if
she bites the head off, or gobbles it whole. I have an innocent
suspicion this scene is laden with sexual allegory, but his hopes
are dashed when she decides not to gobble at all on this occasion!
Is this the Liz we know and love? I think not. Perhaps she thinks
all that refined sugar will adversely affect her hair.
I read in The Guardian during the week that the recent Russian
space- shot failure was brought about because the rocket hit a
strato-cloud of her hair, which had been originally donated, (on
Comic Relief night) to poor Indonesian fishermen, with which to
catch tuna. The hair has escaped, and was making its way out of
the earth's atmosphere to a better life elsewhere in the Galaxy....maybe
to Mars.....maybe Planet Cadbury...who can say?
Liz is still baffled about the source of the mysterious money
and some flowers which arrive for her at The Hourglass. At his
request, she goes to visit The Bibman of Alcatraz, who tells her
that the prison's Mister Big, (the numero uno lag) has talent-spotted
her, and plans to press his suit. Perhaps he'll make her an offer
she can't refuse? Maybe one of these mornings, she'll wake up
next to a horse's head? The mind boggles. The admirer turns out
to be someone called Fraser Henderson, who sounds like a company
of advertising executives or accountants. Anyway, I never trust
anyone who has a surname as their christian name. Little wonder
he's come to no good in life.
Fiona reneges on another sensual warbling session because her
new man Alan offers to whisk her away for what amounts to a mucky
weekend. Alec is furious and threatens to sue her, until Al has
a quiet word with him, and such litigious threats are promptly
withdrawn.
She has her 21st birthday party at The Hourglass. It is there
we are treated to a glimpse of the disco dancing prowess of Curly.
For one so recently bereaved, he seems to have made a miraculous
recovery, and is doing an extravagant series of gyrations, designed
to part his head from his body in the shortest possible time.
He is so happy because his partner is the newly returned ANGIE!
Yes, she creeps up on him unexpectedly while he is cleaning his
car, and puts on a comic Irish accent. By a fairy-tale coincidence,
she is now working for KBEC, and she's here to show the latest
designs to Baldwin. (Hope his fire insurance is up to date!) Angie
is mortified to learn from Baldwin that Raquel was Curly's wife
until very recently, as she had said a few choice things against
the departed supermodel. She apologises to Curly, who takes it
in his stride.
Kelly leaves Ken's house, not being required any more. He gives
her a small gift, as a parting token. He also gives her a small
kiss. On this occasion, his nipples are no where to be seen. There
IS a god!! When Ken returns from a weekend trip to Scotland to
see Daniel, Kelly demands to know the conditions the lad is being
kept in. She gets somewhat aggressive about Denise's choice of
washing powder, and conditioners. Ken can't offer any information
on such domestic details, so her anxiety is unquenched.
Follow the Coronation Street Blog on Twitter and Facebook
No comments:
Post a Comment