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Big story of the week has been Jason and Sarah’s wedding (or lack thereof) so I’ll jump right in with news of the nuptials. Strapped for cash, Sarah buys her wedding frock from a charity shop and it’s left to Fiz and Hayley to work their seamstress magic and turn some old woman’s petticoat into a pink confection of satin and bows. Little Bethany looks a picture in her white and pink froth of a frock but it all fails to crack a smile on Gail’s face, she remains opposed to the wedding and will not budge. Neither will Eileen, which means the two mardy mums form an unlikely alliance and drown their sorrows together in the Rovers with Eileen flipping beer mats on her nose after one glass too many while Gail’s hair-do flicks up in a vain attempt to flee from the sides of her miserable face. Charlie organises a joint hen and stag do in the Rovers which means Maria gets to see a cuddly side to her new landlord, which has hitherto been buried to all. As the two of them prepare the party in the Rovers, they flirt over bunting and balloons but when Maria tries to kiss him at the end of the night Charlie pulls away coyly, reminding her he’s taken. Ooh, he’s playing this one cool, is Charlie-boy. At the party, Jason slurs a speech about Sarah’s hair looking like a shampoo ad and how she’s got the cutest little toes he’s ever seen. Everyone drinks to the loving couple except for Eileen and Gail who stay away from the party in a bad mood and a sulk. “I hope Fiz marries me someday…” muses Kirkeh, taken by the romance of the night, “…at the Planetarium”.
On the day of the wedding it’s all systems go at the Platts as Audrey fusses in her best frock, Sarah’s in rollers, Maria’s doing make-up and hair while Gail goes to work, still not best pleased. Sarah gets little Bethany to sing her wedding song, A Whole New World, to Gail in the garden, hoping it’ll soften Gail’s heart and she’ll relent and give in. But even that doesn’t work (and somehow I can’t see Beth turning up on X-Factor any day soon). Over at Eileen’s, Jason’s in tears because his mum won’t come to the wedding and he even has to iron his own wedding shirt -although it’s left to Charlie to tell him he’ll get it done quicker if he plugs the iron in. At the Rovers, cold savouries are spread out on the bar ready for the reception and a bit of a do. When Betty spies Tyrone trying the pastries, she threatens to slap his backside and there was a wonderful comic look between the two of them across the bar of the pub.
And so, ladies and gennelmen, it’s off to Ryecroft Hall in Audenshaw http://www.tameside.gov.uk/corpgen/new/audiinfo1.htm for the wedding of the summer. Just as the happy couple are about to say their vows, in walk Eileen and Gail wearing a bit of slap and old frocks and it’s hugs all round with Sarah and Jason over the moon to see their mums who’ve arrived to watch them get wed. In the confusion of the moment and before Sarah can say “I do”, Jason pops to the loo and it all goes down the pan. When Jason doesn’t return after a wee while, Charlie goes to check to see if Jason’s got tummy troubles in the toilet but all he finds is an empty cubicle and an open window. Jason’s gone and done a runner, jilted Sarah in her pink frock on her special day and then sends her a txt msg to explain: “Can’t do it, sorry. J x” It’s a terrible thing, constipation, but it must have been pretty bad to make Jason miss his own wedding. Needless to say, Sarah’s in tears and Gail and Eileen return to best bickering form.
Elsewhere on the Street this week, Rosie spends time in the squat with Craig who’s dossing down in Diggory’s old cake shop. It’s right minging, with no running water and Craig’s smelly and unshowered but Rosie ends up falling asleep there and Sally and Kev are out of their mind with worry, not knowing where she is. Sally’s all for searching the streets, calling the cops, locking Rosie in her room until she’s 21 just as soon as they find the little madam. So when Rosie saunters home the next morning, she knows she’s got some explaining to do. She takes Sal and Kev to see where Craig’s sleeping rough. They’ve already offered for Craig to come and stay with them but he’s turned down their offer of bed and beans so Sally comes up with a plan. She asks Roy and Hayley if they’d take Craig in and when they see the conditions Craig’s living in they can’t turn him down. He’s not best pleased at first and kicks out for his independence but Craig finally caves in to soap and water, hot meals and nights in playing Scrabble with the Croppers.
In the Rovers, new barmaid Michelle starts work after Vernon the drummer – a man who’s turned being feckless into an art form – puts in a good word for her with Fred, without telling Liz. Liz isn’t best pleased to be working with Michelle and this Corrie fan isn’t best pleased that Kym Ryder’s in Corrie. Let’s just say the jury is out in our house, at least on my side of the sofa, but I’m prepared to give her a chance. Just. Anyway, Liz is keeping a beady eye on Vernon who’s keeping a beady eye on Michelle behind the bar, along with Steve, who’s also quite taken with the Rovers new barmaid. Vernon’s not happy working at Streetcars and tells Liz it’s not quite his scene, he prefers being a drummer in the band: “I’m used to being adored” he moans.
Maria settles into Charlie’s flat and has to call out her new landlord when the electrics stop working. Little does she know that Charlie’s been into the flat when she was shopping in town and removed some fuses, deliberately on purpose so he’d have an excuse to get in there with his new tenant. She’s not the brightest bulb in the pack is Maria, but I don’t think she deserves what Charlie’s got up his evil sleeve for her over the coming months, oh dearie me, no.
Adam’s full of swagger and smirk and lords it over the girls at the factory with his “Call me Mr Barlow” act then doesn’t bother turning in to his first day at work. He goes shopping and drinking and thinks it’s a lark, getting 40% of the factory business for doing sweet nowt. Danny offers him fifty grand cash to buy back his share of Underworld, which Adam refuses. When Ken finds out that Adam’s wasted his first day, he’s angry with him and tells him so, in no uncertain terms, especially after Blanche has bought him an alarm clock from the car boot sale.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Glenda -
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