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What Emily needs is a nice
young man to help her with her database, so without anything of
the kind, she manages to lose the payroll from the computer at
Underworld. After Linda pleads with Deirdre to return to the factory,
Mrs. Rashid takes up her rightful place as Queen Bee of the Underworld
and tells Mike she's only doing so because of her friendship with
him, not for Linda, not for no-one else. Ken isn't best pleased
as you can imagine. Mike surprises Linda with a couple of tickets
for a trip to the far east and it takes Linda a while to realise
this doesn't mean she's off to Scarborough for the weekend, but
to Hong Kong, Bali and Singapore for 3 weeks. Lucky cow. The girls
at the factory are envious and bitch a lot. And only right too.
Jack returns to the B & B and isn't best pleased to find
that Terry is still hanging around the place after promising he'd
leave and head off back to Birmingham. Eyeing up Sharon ("ker-ching,
ker-ching, ker-ching, went The Kabin"), Terry takes her for
a Chinese meal and fondles his chopsticks menacingly at the table.
Afterwards he tries to cop a snog and Sharon seems only too keen
for a bit of rough, but declines him a cup of coffee for fear
of upsetting bland Danny. Meanwhile, Vera warns Sharon to be wary
of her son and Terry isn't best pleased to hear his own mam has
been badmouthing him. Not his own mam!
There's a great scene when Vinny the lovely drayman calls at
the Rovers and asks Natalie "do you want me to sort yer pipes
out for yer?". "Come again?" she replies before
Vinny asks "to be pointed in the direction of her cellar
door". Double, nay, triple innuendo in a very funny scene.
The lovely Spider continues to romance Toyah this week and
it's so sweet - actually, better than sweet - delicious. Lads,
if you're reading this and wonder how best to woo the woman of
your dreams, I recommend you *never* follow the Terry Duckworth
method of chatting birds up: "Eeh, you look as gorgeous in
the morning as you do last thing at night" (said to Sharon
in the Kabin). Instead, to make your woman faint with desire,
follow the lovely Spider's example when he said to Toyah, in the
café: "You have a beautiful body but your mind is
equally as wonderful." We women like that sort of stuff,
believe me. And beer. We like beer too.
Kevin takes Alison out for a pizza but the evening is cut short
when Sally rings with a stopcock problem. There's an innuendo
in there somewhere but I'm too tired to find it. Off Kevin trots,
leaving poor Alison alone in the restaurant to pay the bill with
the last fiver from her purse. Anyway, as she walks home alone,
she ends up the victim of an attempted mugging but who should
save the damsel in distress? None other than Terry "I've
changed, mam, honest I have" Duckworth. Alison packs her
bags and is ready to leave Kevin and their flat behind, blaming
him by saying she'll always come second to Sally. As she's phoning
the taxi to collect her, Kevin asks Alison to marry him, and she
accepts. They tell the Street, Alison flashes the diamond and
Sally finds out from Sharon her ex-husband has just become engaged.
Kev wants to meet Alison's parents but she's reluctant - and then
she tells him why. When she was 9, her parents accused her of
murdering her younger sister. Odd? Maybe so. Still not as odd
as Anne Malone in the freezer though.
Maxine and Ashley continue to row over best men and weddings.
Enough said. A related storyline to this quite boring one now,
is that Fred sits on Audrey's new hat. Unfortunately, not while
she's wearing it.
Right, that's it, I'm off.
See you next week. Glenda ;-)
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