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Monday 11 June 2012

Coronation Street Weekly Update - Aug 22 2005

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Jack's home alone when Vera swans off to Southport in a taxi and a huff.  While she's away, Tyrone titivates the house wearing Vera's pinny while Jack slobs on the sofa in a beer-and-gravy stained vest.  It doesn't take long for Jack to realise he's no good without his other half: "She's like smoking, a hard habit to break"  and off he goes to the seaside to find his little swamp duck, Vee.  After a long talk on the pier where long-forgotten, tender moments are recalled, the Duckies walk hand in hand to the Shangri-La B&B for a bit of how's-your-father and chips with mushy peas.

Freda leaves after Norris spits that that she's doing Emily no good by sticking around. Emily defends her niece and loses her temper with Norris - hang on,  I'll say that again, Emily loses her temper - but Freda takes Norris' words to heart and gets wheeled away on the Weatherfield Wanderer.  At work in the Kabin, Norris isn't best pleased when Rita takes herself upstairs for a short break, but he's beside himself with grief when he goes up to check on her later and finds her lying on the sofa, one arm dangling loose, mouth open, dead.  Dead?  I nearly choked on my Tunnocks caramel wafer.  Fear not, dear reader, for Norris was wrong, Rita was alive and well and startled the gathered throng in her living room when she woke from her nap.  Norris had dragged Blanche, Jack and Sally up there to pay their respects to the dearly departed.  "But I couldn't feel a  pulse" Norris cries in his defence. "I'm not surprised" says Blanche. ".. under all that make-up".   Rita's close shave with  death brings Norris' own mortality into sharp focus and he wonders, in the most unsentimental way possible, what he'd do without Rita. He's living in Emily's back room, working in the front of Rita's shop, he has no pension, no family, no reason to go on working in the Kabin if Rita isn't going to make him a partner in the business and there's no reason why she should  although he selfishly deems  this unfair. So, at 65 years old, Norris starts job-hunting and asks Rita for a reference which she gives to him in a sealed envelope. He opens it, of course, re-drafts it, corrects her punctuation and gets her to sign it.

Gail and Eileen have set their sights on the Street's newest single bloke, Phil-the-foot, reflexologist of the parish.  When Eileen tries to book an appointment to have balm rubbed on her bunions, Gail lies that he's fully booked so Eileen books a home visit. Then Gail squeezes in a home visit before he sees Eileen.  He caresses corns for both women in the same evening, seemingly oblivious to the charms of either of them while the two of them prepare to battle for the toe-twiddler's affection. "I'm surprised he touched your feet after he saw the state of your net curtains" hisses Gail across the Rovers to Eileen.  When Gail spies Phil-the-foot's car outside Eileen's house she assumes he stayed there overnight (he hasn't but Eileen does nothing to disabuse Gail of the idea) and complains to the Health Centre manager that his newest member of staff is carrying on shamelessly, nay, unethically with one of his patients.

Charlie pays a psychotherapist to visit Shelley in the Rovers and Zak turns up with the sort of deep gravely voice you'd want to read you a story in bed, although nothing too scary perhaps.  In their first session Zak does wonders with Shelley and returns with relaxation tapes for her later that evening.  Zak's visit makes Charlie insecure and  he assumes Zak and Shelley have been talking about him in their session so he decides to sack Zak until he sees the breakthrough that's been made with Shelley and he changes his mind.  This week Zak gave Shelley confidence enough to put out the rubbish bin. Let's hope it won't be long before she throws out the rubbish bloke.

Elsewhere this week, Audrey invites Keith on a date and gets all dolled up and excited when he says he'll take her for lunch. When they end up in the Rovers, Audrey's face trips her up, she was wanting a little more than being gossip fodder for Vera and Blanche in her local.  Never mind, they agree to another date and this time Keith offers to take her for dinner and says he'll meet her in the Rovers at 5.15 sharp. He might grow big onions, he might be able to stuff a rabbit at 15 paces and provide a solid base for his emotionally scarred grandson but Audrey's starting to realise that romantic he ain't.  "You remind me of Grace Kelly" he tells her "before the car crash, of course".

And that's just about that for this week. Now then, back to the chocolates.

Glenda
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