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Once again Mike Baldwin dominates the update this week although he's now dead and has ceased to exist. There are fights over the will when Danny wins it all - the factory, the villa, the golf shirts - and Adam tells Ken and Deirdre he's going to contest it. This week there's been lots of glowering, lots of tears, a bit of shouting and you'd be forgiven for thinking you were in an episode of Eastenders when Mike's funeral cortege left the cobbles. All it needed was a pearly king and queen, what with its black plumed horses, black carriage, top hats and long coats. Archie Shuttleworth, undertaker of the parish, turned up and caused Audrey's heart to flutter again which put Keith in a strop and filled Blanche with a bit of gossip to share with Norris.
So, Mike's funeral and will took up most of the events on the street this week but there was life elsewhere, oh yes indeed. Social worker Genna calls in on the Battersby-Browns to judge whether Les and Ches can become dad and lad. She tells Les she knows he lied about his criminal record and needs to find out more to ensure that Les will be a fit dad for young Chesney. Things look like they're going well, or as well as can be expected with Cilla and Les when Cilla spies Janice, who's had more than a sniff of the barmaid's apron at Mike's wake in the Rovers, and the two women end up scrapping on the street as Genna looks on in dismay. Chesney's in tears and hugs up to Fiz.
Tyrone and Molly finally get to grips with each other as Jack and Vera leave them alone in the house. Tyrone's nervous about Molly seeing him naked, he reckons he's fat, hairy and minging and when he tells Molly this she replies that she thought he was hanging back from her because she wasn't as beautiful as his ex-girlfriend Maria. When they had it all sorted out, Molly grabbed her fella with: "Gis a snog then". Ah, bless, so romantic.
Liz and Vernon moved into a flat of their own this week and so Steve and Ronnie decide to celebrate with a romantic night in, a candle-lit bath and a bottle of red. It all goes by-the-way though when Liz and Vernon return as their new landlord has thrown them out before they even moved in. He took one look at Vernon's drum kit and decided he didn't approve of a premature paradiddle and so made them skedaddle.
It's Gail's birthday and there's another card from Richard Hillman. She's all upset and in tears but I have no sympathy for the woman. Four words, Gail: Go To The Police. I was quite interested in this storyline once, but not any more. Gail even thinks Richard could still be alive and tormenting her. Oh for heavens sake Gail, wake up and smell the formaldehyde.
Norris continues with his quest to find love online from the computer in the back room of the Kabin. He tut-tuts at an email from a woman called Sandra who's email is full of spelling errors. But he still sets up a lunch date with her only to report back to Rita and Emily that he thought Sandra rather common. But his rod begins to twitch again as Norris reels in more female replies to his lonely hearts ad, thinking he might sort out the wheat from the chav by way of a questionnaire and a general knowledge quiz.
In the salon, Tracy refuses to pay when Sarah's work on Tracy's talons isn't up to scratch. When Sarah complains, Jason tells her to lay off Tracy because she's just had an abortion. Armed with this piece of juicy gossip, Sarah tells Audrey who tells Blanche and it gets back to Tracy, of course. Just how long will it be before the real truth
comes out that there was no baby and no abortion?
And that's just about that for this week. Now then, where's that kettle gone?
Glenda
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